Decoding the Hidden Messages in Your Eyes

"The eyes are the window to the soul" is a common phrase.

Although we attribute the phrase to a line from William Shakespeare's Richard III (Act V, Scene iii), it's believed the concept goes back even further to ancient Greek philosophy.

Regardless, the meaning is powerful. The eyes share how you feel in two ways:

1. Emotions and thoughts revealed: Our eyes can communicate a lot about what's going on inside us. Happiness, sadness, anger, and fear can all be reflected in our eyes. Looking at someone's eyes can sometimes give us a sense of how they're feeling, even if they're not saying a word.
2. Understanding beyond words: The saying, attributed to Shakespeare, suggests a deeper level than we say. The "soul" can represent our true selves, intentions, and the things we might not outwardly express. Looking into someone's eyes might feel like we're glimpsing something more personal.

It's important to remember that this is a metaphor, not a literal truth. We can't always definitively know what someone is thinking or feeling just by looking at how their eyes move. However, paying attention to non-verbal cues like eye contact and eye movement can be a helpful tool for understanding others.

Years ago, I would coach executives to make eye contact. Connecting with your audience with the right amount of eye contact builds rapport and prompts engagement. Today, eye contact is an integral part of your non-verbal cues, but the eyes reveal much more than you might anticipate. 

Eyes Don’t Lie

Here are four ways eye movement reveals how you are feeling, thinking, and/or processing information.

#1. Non-emotional recall is when you look Up Left (UL). Have you ever noticed that when someone is remembering a date, solving a math problem, or remembering a historical fact, they may look up left as they retrieve an answer?

#2. What about when they look Up Right (UR)? Looking up right usually occurs when you are recalling an emotional memory. Maybe you're remembering the day you got married, meeting a friend for the first time, or the pride of achieving a goal at work.

#3. There's also Down Left (DL) eye accessing, which is rote memory. When someone looks down and to the left, they are having a non-emotional internal conversation, trying to remember something they've practiced or rehearsed.

#4. If you see downright (DR) eye accessing, it is usually attributed to an internal emotional discussion. It's when someone is conversing internally and trying to figure out how to share an emotional subject. The more you see someone with DR eye access, it may be a signal that they are struggling with the words to use to discuss a topic with you.

You can also be on the lookout for auditory eye access. When people recall something and look toward their ears, they are remembering the sound or what's been said that they want to share.

Understanding eye-accessing cues is a concept in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and is believed to offer several benefits in communication and interpersonal interactions. 

Seeing Isn’t Always Believing

Observing someone's eye movements might give you insights into their preferred way of processing information. You can also gain a deeper understanding as people offer clues about their thoughts and emotions. These clues can be valuable in situations like coaching or negotiations, where understanding the other person's perspective is crucial.

However, it's important to consider some caveats:

• Limited Reliability: Eye-accessing cues are not foolproof. Cultural background and individual differences can influence eye movements. Overreliance on these cues can lead to misinterpretations.
• Baseline Understanding: Accurately interpreting eye accessing requires establishing a baseline for a person's eye movements to understand their specific cues.
• Focus on Content: While eye-accessing cues can provide some insights, the content of communication and a person's behavior are still more important for understanding their thoughts and feelings.

Overall, understanding eye-accessing cues can be a helpful tool for communication. However, it should be used cautiously and combined with other forms of communication analysis. 

Returning to the phrase, "the eyes are the window to the soul" …

Although there may be no literal window to the soul, there's truth to the saying, as our eyes reveal our emotional states and what we don’t outwardly share with others.

BONUS: The PESO Model Meets Generative AI with Gini Dietrich on the DM Show

In case you missed it, Gini Dietrich shares the secret of how she invented—and why she reinvented—the PESO Model© for the age of generative AI. She also offers strategies you can use to create must-read/watch/listen to content, optimize your distribution, and drive a ton of engagement.