DEMOCRACY — HYPOCRISY — DIKTOCRACY

A #PhilAckmanArticle

Anyone who ever served on a Committee — a Board — or the dreaded Body Corporate — understands group decision-making a log jam of constipated special interests — the dribblingly dull-witted — and the bloodless peace-in-our-timers — who’ll agree anything to avoid a fight.

Prime Ministers, Premiers and Presidents figure they’ll eventually wear the blame — so why not wield the sword instead of being hacked to death by the blades of their mostly treacherous colleagues — each of whom dreams of the job.

Does anyone really believe the 30 Ministers, 12 Assistant Ministers — and four Special Envoys of the Albanese Government smoothly agonise every announcement — every policy? Tortoises in suits — hurtling down the highway to action? Forty six of the nation’s elected hive minds — sifting barrow loads of data to triumphantly arrive at the same conclusion — the same sound bite — the same talking points — the same exuberant endorsement?

When Anastacia Palaszczuk ruled Queensland, local press reported many Ministers and most backbenchers hadn’t met with her for months — in some cases, more than a year. The State was run from the Premier’s office.

When Scottie from Marketing led the Federal Government he was so confident in his own front bench he secretly assumed control of five Ministries — Health, Finance, Treasury, Home Affairs and Industry, Science, Energy and Resources.

In her nine years in the Qld Parliament — she joined at the wise age of 31 — Shannon Fentiman — a long touted future Labor Leader — has held Ministerial responsibility for 15 portfolios — Health, Mental Health, Ambulance Services, Women, Prevention of Domestic and Family Violence, Employment, Small Business, Training, Skills Development, Communities, Youth, Child Safety, Multicultural Affairs, Justice and Attorney General. No doubt a bright button and a fast learner. Well, she’d have to be! She’s now Shadow Treasurer — despite having no apparent credentials in accounting, finance or economics.

Former High School drama teacher, Mark Bailey, whose near nine years of portfolio responsibilities for Main Roads, Road Safety, Ports, Energy, Water Supply and Biofuels — the obvious springboard for his new Shadow Responsibility — Health.

“(Opposition Leader, Steven) Miles has chosen to prioritise character over expertise…,” opined the Brisbane Courier Mail.

Incoming Qld Leader, David Crisafulli, has announced 19 Ministers and 10 Assistant Ministers in his brand new Cabinet. Almost 60% of his total MP workforce on the front bench. Seventy percent of the fledgling Assistants leveraging an impressive several weeks of Parliamentary experience each — to inform their arduous new roles.

None of this makes much sense unless Ministers of the Crown and their Opposition Shadows have little to no impact. Metaphorical monkeys dancing to the organ grinder in the corner office.

The truth of Australia’s State and Federal parliaments is Labor and LNP backbenchers mostly discover what their Party thinks by reading the paper over breakfast — and mastering the talking points they are instructed to recite.

Cabinet Ministers toil under a similar regime. Perhaps they are occasionally consulted by the Prime Minister or Premier’s office. Perhaps not. If anything positive happens in their portfolio, they stand behind their Leader — a grinning Cheshire Cat — while the boss takes the credit. It is only screw ups and scandal where the hapless Minister — buttocks clenched — faces the media alone.

Australia — every State — and probably most democracies in the world — are largely run by the Leader alone. We do not live in a Dem-ocracy — but a Dict-ocracy — a hybrid dictatorship with the advantages of neither — because what can’t be swept aside is elections every three or four years — and the inescapable necessity for every decision to be both popular and to satisfy the greedy special interests.

Nothing escapes this spanking machine except an agonisingly slow procession of top down decisions — sometimes excruciatingly woke — often now alienating of young white males — but almost always guaranteed to be awful no matter your gender, age group income level or politics.

A Labor war horse chosen as Australia's first modern slavery commissioner? Hard to know the extent of the problem, admitted the Federal Attorney General in an apparent moment of candour. An extensive problem — we will no doubt learn — else the Commissioner’s new job would be at risk.

Social media too dangerous for kids under 16 — but deluging them with gambling ads? Not a problem.

Appointment of a — barely — former lobbyist — to run the office of Queensland’s new Integrity Minister — part of the incoming Premier’s “rebuilding trust in Government” initiative. A smart move? But Ministry for Integrity? What does that actually do? Can Minister for a Sunny Weekend be far away?

Another shrewd decision — announcement of a business case to determine whether a bridge linking a quarter of a million people in Far North Qld should be repaired — or perhaps allowed to collapse into a fast flowing river.

Which brings us to Donald Trump, whose resounding victory was essentially a referendum on America’s struggling democracy. Mild mannered Kamala Harris Vs a man many regard as a dictator at heart.

In the background, a fading President Biden — who analyses everything before finally moving the wrong chess piece an eighth of a centimetre — or the right chess piece to the wrong square. The Safer Communities Act — stripped of an assault weapons ban, and universal background checks. $1.2 Trillion Infrastructure spend. But surely stuff wears out as a matter of course. Proudly kept US troops out of foreign wars — his signature achievement — while bravely telling Ukraine they would be justified to counter attack if North Korea put hostile troops against them on the ground. Akin to — Please stop murdering my family or I will become a little crotchety. Scrapped Trump’s paint scheme for the new Air Force One — whose mushrooming cost is more than three times larger than the economy of Vanuatu. Thousands of other accomplishments, of course, but not much that moved the needle. The power of a lion with the roar of a mouse.

Kamala Harris trapped in the Biden legacy — responding to Trump’s fire and brimstone tent-preacher rage with politely refined dissent.

Soon to be Re-President Trump now joins the world’s other decisive strong men — Netanyahu — Putin — Kim Jong Un — China’s Xi Jinping —and with neither the Congress, nor the Courts, likely to stop him.

America has firmly abandoned democracy — circles the drain on dictocracy — teeters on the edge of dictatorship. They didn’t vote for MAGA — Make America Great Again. They voted for FGSDS — For God’s Sake Do Something. Or its even more despairing alternative — For God’s Sake Do Anything At All.

I’m #philackman and this #philackmanarticle first to air on #cairnsfm89.1. Also from time to time on Jeremy Cordeaux’s podcast: The Court of Public Opinion and Melbourne’s 3AW.