DESPERATELY SEEKING SUPER BRAIN

Will there come a day when we can get brain implant enhancements the same way people get Botox for wrinkles? If so, would you do it? 

According to the many wonders of science, the days of using only 10% of our brain are over. We can now tailor our thinking in unimaginable ways depending on what type of person we are. For instance classical music aficionados looking to baroque up their brain can listen to Mozart's "Sonata for Two Pianos in D Major” as the “Mozart Effect” was said to increase a group of college students’ IQs as much as nine points. For eco-friendly types in search of a more organic overhaul, studies have shown those following the Mediterranean Diet have 35% lower risk of scoring poorly on cognitive tests. But if pianos and Omega-3s are just too analog for your big-headed goals, another more hotly debated modern method is on the lab slab for your tinkering enjoyment: Transcranial direct-current stimulation.

Guardian reporter David Adam claims to have seriously boosted his IQ using a method of electrical brain stimulation. With an end goal to shock himself smarter for a Mensa exam he was taking in a week, Adam used a brain stimulator he purchased online (Amazon really has everything, doesn't it?). Using two electrodes wired to a 9V battery, Adam connected wired-up wet sponges to his temporal lobes for 30 minutes a night for seven days. Armed with a “smart pill” (more on those in a minute), Adam’s plan worked, he’s now a proud Mensa member, having gone from an IQ of 125 to 135—well above the requirements for Mensa membership. Now if he could only find his dang keys…

Founder and CEO of neuroscience startup Kernel, Brian Johnson believes cognitive improvement has already been around for centuries, most notably via private versus public education. To Johnson, brain augmentation is (pardon the pun) a no-brainer—it’s not a question of if but when we’ll all have computer chips in of our heads. To hurry things along Johnson’s invested $100 million of his own money to help figure out how soon is now. “The next frontier of human aspiration is inside our brains,” Johnson tells WIRED magazine. “For humans to be relevant in a matter of decades there is no choice other than to unlock our brains and intervene (itals are my emphasis) in our cognitive evolution.” ‘Black Mirror’ anyone? Bueller?

Programmed brains reprogramming brains could be a cyclical renewal of life and death, an Ouroboros, one step closer to immortality. But is living la vampire loca the ultimate dream or will we be satisfied with neuro-enhancement for more superficial reasons, like being the smartest person in the room? All signs point to probably.

In high-performance / high-demand areas like Silicon Valley, the fascination with microdosing LSD is waning and prescription-only stimulants, like Adderall and Ritalin, are being replaced with smart pills— otherwise known as nootropics. Nootropics are supplements, drugs, pills, powders, potions—what have you—that claim to improve cognitive function. As Geoffrey Woo, CEO and founder of nootropics subscription service HVMN says, "People keep going deeper and deeper into the grey and black areas of cognitive enhancement,” and thus the nootropic trend has only just begun. But with side effects ranging from the mild jitters found from taking the supplement L-theanine to potential narcolepsy which can result from taking smart pill Armodafani, are “noots” safe? Woo says, “Our company only makes products that are FDA approved. We're regulated as any other supplement or food. In nootropics, people are working with chemicals that are classified compounds. We try to stay away from the things that have side effects." So basically press your luck. No whammy, indeed.

Those who’ve seen ‘Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind’ might never have thought it to be about neuroscience since the term is never once mentioned in the film. Yet the act of erasing memories, adding new ones—or any type of enhancement to the brain—is exactly that, brain science built on brain tomfoolery. To enhance our brain functioning we must first dive deep, snip synapses, neutralize neurons—basically hack our brain…to bits.

Soon technology will take our brains places Hollywood and Kurt Vonnegut only dreamed. Places where our brains could tell us everything in an instant, 100x faster than Chattanooga, Tennessee’s The Gig.  The question remains, when that magic potion, syringe, chip or operation is market-ready to go and give you 30% more brain capability, would you do it? What if the side effects could lead to heart palpitations, dementia, or even death? Would you still take a chance? Questions like these can only be answered using one soon-to-become outdated OS: Your brain.