Discovering Your Self-Worth

Say this with me: “I’m a good person who deserves to be treated with respect.” This is a solid statement of self-worth.

If your self-worth is strong, then you never:

• Say yes when you probably should say no
• Obsess about what you lack
• Spend a lot of time looking for outside approval
• Let others violate your boundaries
• Offer unnecessary apologies (you’re not always the wrong one)
• Buy-in to naysayers’ negative beliefs about you
• Put everyone’s needs ahead of your own
• Beat yourself up over silly mistakes

As you reflect against these expectations, how’d you do? If you saw room for improvement, no worries. That’s why I’m writing this. Self-worth is one of the most important skills we can build on our life journey. It’s a mindset that needs to be addressed before we can advance on any other leadership skills. If we don’t feel we’re enough, then our dreams, aspirations, and confidence are limited.

I love this Oprah quote: You become what you believe, not what you think or what you want.  

Self-worth is a continuous journey. While there’s no ultimate summit, there are many basecamps we can reach on the path. At each new base camp, we’re able to stop, breathe, and reassess our goals and ambitions. The higher the basecamp, the more limitless we feel. If you feel your basecamp is at ground zero (or not too far from there), that’s okay. Focus on the small actions you can take today to get to that next milestone, like these three: 

• Review your calendar. As you reflect on the past two weeks, start to identify situations you were in that you should’ve said “no” to because it wasn’t your best use of time. Try to find patterns and situations where you feel the pressure to either people please or say “yes.” Then, get a “How to Say No” strategy in place.
• Start the day with the right mindset. Before you make your kids’ breakfast, respond to an email, or speak with a colleague, take a moment to get your head on straight. Make a conscious choice about how you want to show up for yourself during the day. A small intention can serve as the reminder you need to maintain your boundaries and live up to the expectations you have for yourself.
• Improve your filter. Not everyone gets to influence how we feel about ourselves. Those toxic, negative, and frustrating people in our life shouldn’t get a seat at our table. We can’t always remove them from our life, but we can know who they are and apply a filter to what we hear. A simple filter looks like: “They said that, but that’s a statement about them and their own insecurities – that’s not a statement about me.”

Here’s to one of the most fulfilling journeys you can ever go on – a journey to strengthen your self-worth. A journey that can start today…like, right now!!

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