Don't let working virtually limit your influence in the company.

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Almost all of my executive coaching clients are leaders at companies with global offices. I coach them on the essential topic of cultivating more significant influence across the organization for better collaboration and scalable business results.

Increasing your influence at work while still executing your job is a challenging objective for anyone. 

It's even more challenging when you don't work in the company headquarters but in a satellite office, given differences in time zones, culture, language, etc. 

I saw this firsthand many years ago when I was an internal talent development leader at a Fortune 500 technology company. Executives and managers in China, Japan, India, and Europe had to be creative in developing personal connections and brands within the US-centric culture.

But historically, companies with overseas teams found ways to accommodate each other, functioning as well as possible through video conference. 

Nowadays, that way of working has taken over for all of us. 

Whether you're my teammate in China or have an office down the hall from me at headquarters, we collaborate virtually. And while employees have welcomed this way of life in some ways, it's stressing a lot of leaders out for good reason.  

There are so many idiosyncrasies related to working virtually and maintaining influence as a leader.  

For one thing, as a recent piece in Harvard Business Review shared, it seems to make trusting your colleagues harder. 

It also makes those in leadership positions more confused about whether they are building genuine followership or not.  

And this confusion can not only create more emotional distance between employees and leaders, but it can also develop resentment and indifference toward moving closer. 

The willingness to think about long-term influence, new relationships, and stretching yourself for future career potential is something that starts to take a back seat. 

After all, leaders are simply trying to get today's job done amidst declining trust and certainty; how can they have the time and motivation to think about building new relationships?  

But make no mistake, influence will always be critical to leadership and career success. 

And because virtual work makes it so much easier to ignore the influence-building that felt more natural in person, it's more critical for you to focus on it intentionally. 

Out of sight becomes out of mind, and in time, just as you will put off developing more connection with people, others will find other things to do than to get to know you. 

Here are some of my recommendations to ensure our new way of working doesn't limit your potential for more significant influence and impact.

Mindset  

Think of your colleagues like you do your favorite customers. 

My late mother often pointed out how common it is that people treat strangers better than their loved ones. 

We may take our own family for granted because they'll always be there, but we put others on a pedestal. And in your business "family," it's not uncommon to put all your energies into pleasing the external customer even if it means treating your colleagues with less compassion and care.  

But the leaders who have the most influence and followership work hard to be seen by their colleagues with the same positive regard that the company's favorite customers view them.  

And to be regarded in that spirit, you must start by looking at how you think about your colleagues. 

Can you see the positive intent behind all your coworkers, even the ones that frustrate you to no end? 

Is it possible that if you get to know them better, you may find something you like about them? 

And could it be that the only reason why you haven't developed a connection with someone who you need to influence is because of a belief system you're holding onto that isn't tested or even helpful for your goals?

I love this quote by author Wayne Dyer:

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." 

Give it a try as it relates to how you view your colleagues, especially in a virtual environment where we all make judgments with less information and interaction.  

At best, you will pave the way for more substantial influence with new people, and at worst, you will have increased your capacity for open-mindedness regardless of how your colleagues act.

Motivation 

Assess your level of self-initiative these days and where you need a push to increase connection with others.

You may choose a promotion focus, thinking of all the benefits that come with steady investment in relationship and influence building: e.g., visibility, career advancement, an expanded network, and new opportunities for contribution. 

Or you might be someone who functions better with a prevention focus. You are motivated when you think of the risks you can avoid by making more outreach to critical stakeholders: e.g., losing out on crucial jobs, becoming a forgettable colleague, or permanently being assigned a new boss without being considered for the promotion.

Whatever gets you going, use it to create a consistent process toward better outcomes in your level of influence. 

Think of your process like a salesperson uses their customer relationship management system. They plan out how many (and what kinds of) interactions they need to convert a lead to a qualified prospect and how many to convert prospects to customers. 

You can create a list of crucial colleagues you want (and need) to develop more influence with and have the discipline to connect with intention. 

Maybe you set a goal to meet five new people a month and touch base with five people you already know to further the connection. 

As you meet each colleague, be an avid listener and learn about them. Stay interested: you'll start to notice that when you are genuinely interested in others, you become more interesting to them. 

And show them the respect they deserve for sharing about themselves with you by building on what you're learning in subsequent interactions. You'll most likely see them reciprocating in their positive concern for you.

Communication  

With all the distractions and busyness everyone is dealing with, it's essential to rethink how you connect with people. 

Asking someone who doesn't know you well, to take time out of their schedule is a lot to request these days.  

You must convey a clear and substantial reason for them to talk to you and make it easy for them to say yes. 

Don't ask them for things that serve you instead of them. Influence is about persuasion, not setting expectations or making demands on others. 

You have to imagine why they would willingly want to know you, not get caught up in why you need them to care.  

Also, it's sad to say that with so many social media interactions around us, most people believe they already have enough friends and contacts unless they need something urgently.

So unless you are willing to be thoughtful and caring enough about them that they want to invite you into their inner circle, you may be just another email in the hundreds of demands on their time that already sit in their inbox. Start all your efforts at developing influence with an intent to serve. And give people time to bring you in; don't rush it, just stay consistent.

In addition to starting with an intent to serve others, you can create more willingness to engage with you by aiming to find chemistry with them.  

To create chemistry, you must be self-aware and aware of what makes others feel safe. 

You might try to mirror their energy, for instance, as a way of creating consonance, especially on video. 

If you find yourself dominating and doing more talking when connecting with someone more quiet and thoughtful, bring your speed down a bit and show a willingness to meet them where they are. 

The same goes for when you are talking to someone who is highly assertive and vocal. 

If you are passive, you create dissonance that may make them trust and engage with you less.

You don't have to change who you are at the core; just tap into more facets of your personality because, believe it or not, they are there. You just have typically led with what makes you more comfortable rather than now deciding to look at what might make them more at ease. 

Another way of creating chemistry is to share something personal when the time is right and create an opening for them to do the same. 

Most conversations will have a professional and business veneer at work. But when is business jargon ever memorable enough to create profound influence and interpersonal connections?  

What people remember are stories and how you made them feel in your presence. 

They remember images and metaphors that you expressed when you told them something you would only share with a few honored people like them. 

And they recall the courage you showed by being vulnerable, not the bluster most so-called confident colleagues employ to mask their deep insecurities.

Trust that the virtual environment is still ripe with the opportunity to connect if you make the time and hike up your self and other-awareness in interactions. 

When you communicate with others in ways that serve, create safety, and share a deeper exploration of values between you and them, you will develop an extraordinary level of authentic influence.

*****

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Nihar Chhaya is a leadership expert and executive coach to CEOs, startup founders, and senior leaders at global companies, including American Airlines, Cigna, Coca-Cola, Cox Enterprises, Draft Kings, Lockheed Martin, Raytheon Technologies, Wieden + Kennedy, and many more. 

To inquire about executive coaching for you or your company, visit www.partnerexec.com.