don't let your ambition rob you

Dear you,

The 2022 world cup was a trip. I enjoyed every moment, especially the finals. When Morocco lost their match, and my fave (C Ronaldo) had to leave the world cup because his country lost, I had to find a new team to support. I fell in love with France after they defeated England. I was initially rooting for England (because of Rashford, Saka, and some other Premier League footballers I liked), but watching France play, I was in awe of their composure. Even more, Mbappe has helped me defeat a couple of people while playing FIFA, so I liked him a lot. He was young, and his commitment to excellence was laudable.

As I watched the finals, it almost felt like it was Argentina vs Mbappe. I wanted France to win. They had won all their matches, + I didn't want Messi fans to insult my fave while praising their fave (Ps: I like Messi, but I won't admit it in public. In fact, this letter is a secret between us, so shhh). At some point in the game, it looked personal for Messi and Mbappe. Mbappe scored the three goals that led to the draw and penalty shoot-out. He also scored his penalty. Watching him, I was in awe. But guess what?

At the end of the match, when they lost, Mbappe cried. He was sad all through. He had played a fantastic game and literally carried his team on his shoulders. His individual excellence was glaring. He won the golden boot. He looked so devastated. When Argentina lost their match earlier in the World Cup, Messi was really sad on the pitch. It reminded me of the day Portugal lost and how devastated C. Ronaldo was. It also made me think of myself and how there were moments where I had achieved amazing feats, but I was too distracted by what I had lost, or the fact that I did not achieve the main goal I was focused on, and how sad I would be for days. I reflected on those classmates we had in school who would score 98% or come in the second position and cry, forgetting that some people didn't even get passing marks. It didn't matter to them because, in most cases, it wasn't about passing; it was about being excellent - surpassing your own expectations, being your own biggest critic, setting your own standards for yourself and beating them. Anything short was a failure.

Watching the final, I realized I have empathy for high achievers like Mbappe, Messi, and C. Ronaldo (even myself). Even when they are individually excellent, they are too hard on themselves when they don't achieve their main goal. You might be like that this year as you evaluate your goals, but please don't. Don't let your quest for achievement rob you of this moment right here. Write down what you achieved instead (outside the goals you set), and think about ways you grew, things you are proud of, ways you transformed, etc. If you have my goal setting workbook (you can get it here), you'll see I made room for progress goals. Don't miss out on celebrating the process, and your current wins, because of a few losses. You are not a failure. We are all works in progress. So forgive yourself and give yourself some credit. We go again in 2023.

With love,

Blessing Abeng