A father prepares a son for fatherhood all his life.

This Father’s day is very special to me. It is 1 part bitter and two parts sweet. While I lost the rock of my life, my father this year, I got to spend so much more time with my two boys over the last couple of months. I have come to experience Fatherhood from many different lenses over the years. But I only understand it now that I have two bright young boys who are coming of age. The elder one is 16 today and the younger one Is 10. A father prepares a son for fatherhood all his life! That’s what my Baba did for me.

As long as I can remember, Baba was always the quiet, strong types. Extremely thoughtful and meticulous in his ways. Baba loved his privacy. He came across as a very reserved personality. However, I think it was his quiet understanding about life that the less said, the better. Be nice to people, smile as often as you can, be stress free and be that strong pillar of support for everyone around you. I think that’s what his Life’s mantra was. Giving back to those who loved him, giving back to society and giving back to the entire PNG Family. A man of few words, but loved by all.

The sad passing of my father has been tough on all of us. There is this void which is now slowly getting filled with the wonderful memories of him and the new ones that I make every day with my sons. I find him and his remnants in the small little things that my kids do. How they approach problems, the things they find funny, the love for food that the younger one has, and the love for travel that the older one does.  

A Father has to play the role of a mentor, guide and a navigator, who helps take decisions, stands behind you when you step forward and gives you a shelter on the worst days that life has to offer. After Dajikaka, Baba became my close friend and guide. I try to do the same for my children every day. It is important to understand how your child is dealing with issues while growing up, develop a friendship that creates an atmosphere of trust and allows free and fair communication. As a father I really try to be non - judgemental, to give them space to express their feelings, opinions and their vision for life. This allows them to develop in each phase of life and mould their own understanding about the world we live in.  

Fatherhood for me started even before Aditya, my elder one came along. It always starts with the kicks! When you feel that physical kick in the stomach of your wife, that’s when it gets very very real! I was 27 years old when Aditya came into this world. I find it hard to surmise how I felt in words. It’s a feeling of unhinged nervousness, unbridled excitement and rooted responsibility for a new life! Me and Radhika becoming parents for the first time, my father getting a grand-son, Daji kaka becoming a great grandfather. It was a momentous occasion for our joint family. A thousand emotions per second, but nothing can beat the happiness and the quiet reserve you feel because you just stepped into a new life and life itself became more meaningful by becoming a father for the first time. And then a few years later, I got to experience the exact same thing all over again when Yash came along!

The most important thing I have told both Aditya and Yash, is that they are the flag-bearers of their own destiny in life. They are free to pick and choose their path in life. I will always be their friend and trusted advisor but the choice will always be theirs. At present both of them talk about joining the family business and are very excited about it, but I have told them that it is completely up-to them, there is no pressure. Finishing their education is the first priority for us. As they grow up, their passions and pursuits will change and we are really hoping that they pursue their passions and make a career out of that! As long as they get happiness and joy from what they are doing, they turn out to be well behaved gentlemen, we as parents will be very happy!

Life was very different when we were growing up. Today, the penetration of technology in our lives and now having a virus like Covid 19 around, life is very very different. Life will continue to change as days go by and we must continue to adapt to changing environments. However, I would really want them to ensure that our traditional values remain intact. The important principles of good behavior, respect towards the elders, honesty, being true to oneself and focused towards their passions must remain intact! They should also remember that nothing in life comes easy, there is no replacement for hard work and dedication and that they understand the value of money. We pay special emphasis on how women are perceived by our two sons. We feel that our efforts have continued to pay off when we see our sons understand and accept equality of gender, are respectful towards all women and hold all women in their lives in high esteem and are caring and helpful towards their friends, their cousins and all the other women they meet in their life. The entire credit for this goes to the environment created in our household. This comes to the fore when they see how their grandmother, their mother, their aunts and their cousins are being treated in the house. With equality, respect and appreciation every single day.  

 While a lot of things have become virtual in today’s time, I would love for them to continue living a life that includes the outdoors, work towards their health, run, swim, enjoy the perks of the natural world for their own peace of mind and good health. I would want them to remain humble as they are today even when they grow up to be adults. And most importantly I would want them to carry great friendships along the way. It just makes everything easier. As they say, you are the company you keep. Friends play a very important role in our lives and they teach us so many values of human interaction that no one else can. If you are with good people, you turn out to be good. It also adds so much to the personality.

I would also tell my kids, that your spirit, your influence, your character, and your personality is invaluable to us parents. You have taught me more than I ever thought I would learn. I see my father in the two of you, and that for me is the best Father’s day gift any father can have. I hope to continue to light up your paths and walk besides you, forever having a shield of protection around you. Forever being a friend you can confide in and forever creating memories with the two of you. I shall continue to be the father that the two of you deserve and in doing that, make my father proud, because after all, I am his reflection like you are mine. Thank you for being.

Your loving Baba.

Saurabh.

PS: Nothing that I have said above would be possible without my loving wife and mother to our children, Radhika.