Fawlty Showers 2
Doubling Down
The next day I presented a training on cognitive therapy. Halfway through I explained using ‘Double Standard’ to get people to challenge their negative beliefs about themselves.
“Some people have an excuse for everything,” I said. “Some blame others for anything that goes wrong.”
A woman in the front row gestured with her eyes at the man sitting next to her. Two women sitting behind the man pointed at him. I pretended to cough to hide my laugh.
“On the other hand, a lot of people are much tougher on themselves than they’d be on a good friend. ‘Double Standard’ is just common sense, asking them to look for these harsh judgments.”
I asked if anybody would be willing to share an example from their own lives.
The woman in the front row said, “I tell myself I can’t lose weight because I’m weak-willed and lazy. I tell my friend she can’t quit smoking because it’s hard to do, but she’ll do it eventually, ‘cause she’s amazing.”
“I relapsed on the golf course,” a man near the back said. “I gave away my new clubs to punish myself. A friend relapsed and I took him fishing, told him he was a great guy who’d hit a rough patch.”
Another man handed him his business card.
“In case I’m thinking I might relapse?” the first man asked, assuming the second man was also in recovery.
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“Well that, and in case you do relapse,” the second man said, laughing. “I need a new set of clubs.”
Today I’ll watch for double standards I impose on myself.
Fawlty Showers 2 is a work of fiction. Any similarity between the characters and anyone you might know is purely coincidental.
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