Feeling Gratitude on Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love everything about it – the food, the traditions, the gathering of family and friends from near and far and the simple luxury of time to pause and give thanks. I love that it’s nonsectarian and nonpartisan. If you are an American, you are most likely celebrating this holiday, continuing a tradition that has been in place for hundreds of years.

Thanksgiving travel comprises some of my earliest memories. My mom and dad would pile their four children in the family Buick for a road trip to spend Thanksgiving with grandparents or a particular aunt and uncle who were hosting that year. That Buick was so large that it comfortably fit the six of us – mom and dad in the front and the four of us in the back in what can only be described by today’s standards as shockingly unsafe. There were two laid out in opposite directions on the back seat itself, a third child stretched out along the back window and the fourth stretched out on the floor. Cars were bigger then and, if there were any seatbelts, they couldn’t be found.

Car travel was an adventure. When we weren’t stretched out for naps, we played highway games that kept us watching the surroundings. We might scan the passing cars for out-of-state license plates to see how many states we could capture or go through the alphabet by finding words on billboards or other signs. There were certainly no electronics or phones to distract us during a long car journey.

Upon arrival at our destination, the door would fly open before we were even parked in the driveway and our grandparents would spill out, enveloping us all in their arms. The house was filled with the smell of cooking. One of the most remarkable things about this holiday is that the menu now is much like the menu was then: turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce and pies – pumpkin, apple, pecan.

Everyone gathered for dinner around whatever tables could be found – scrunched together a bit – but that was all part of the fun. For many years, there would be a bit of a debate about which kids had to sit at the kids’ table and who might graduate to the adult table. I don’t remember ever wanting to stay at the kids’ table. Conversations were about school and church, sports and politics – but mostly about family – sharing the happy stories of what was taking place when we weren’t all together.

My wife Ruth and I have continued very similar Thanksgiving traditions over our 36 years together. We raised our four children in the Washington, D.C. area, which made going home to the Midwest a bit far. Thanksgiving was usually in D.C. Over the years, as plane travel has become more common, we have succeeded in enticing siblings and family members from other parts of the country and our closest friends to celebrate the holiday with us here in Washington.

We enjoy the rhythms of a day spent in the kitchen, cooking together and creating many of the same dishes we enjoyed as children. One year, a neighbor and oysterman on the Eastern Shore brought us a tray of Oysters Rockefeller. That dish is now a decades-long staple of our Thanksgiving appetizers. I enjoy these traditions not only because of how they connect me to my family, but also because the very same traditions are simultaneously connecting families all across the  country.

This year, like many others, our gathering will be a bit smaller – Ruth, our four adult children and maybe a couple of girlfriends -- comfortably seated at one table. There will be no jockeying for the best seat at the table, no worry about a kids’ table, but the spirit of Thanksgiving will be the same. We will pause to think about what we are thankful for; we will check in with family around the country to share best wishes and we’ll nap through a football game once the dishes are put away.

Even in these difficult days as we grapple with a global pandemic, we can find reasons for some optimism and gratitude. On my list: I am grateful that 2020 will be coming to a close and that promising developments on vaccines for COVID-19 bode for a better 2021. 

I am grateful to be here and feeling strong. This time last year, I was recovering from pancreatic cancer surgery. Throughout 2020, I got through the scheduled treatments and I am optimistic about the future. Like a lot of cancer survivors, I am very grateful to be here and ready to throw a football before we sit down for dinner.

And I am grateful for so many friends and colleagues around the world, who have navigated through a complicated time with strength and hope. One day, we will all be telling stories at the Thanksgiving table about how we survived this pandemic. I look forward to that as we celebrate this year.

Happy Thanksgiving.