Fishing Lessons as a Child

As I was commenting on a post today from Kristin Queen of Wipes Olson-Kott - it brought back a very strong childhood memory. And, a very important lesson that I learned as a child while fishing on our yearly summer vacation. If you didn't see her post today - she had commented about a time when she asked to tag along with her dad and his buddies to go fishing. Her dad's friends said that the guys go fishing and the girls/women stay home to cook them. He of course, took her because knowing how cool Kristin is - I'm sure he was the same! But her story brought back a really strong memory and lesson from my childhood. And it really made my morning to reminisce on the memories that I am sharing with you.

Growing up we spent every summer in NE Minnesota - in the wilds. I'd wake up, fish, eat, fish, and go to bed - on Sundays run to town for church and shopping - and nag everyone to hurry up so I could get back to fishing! Some days I'd never return to the dock until nightfall - sometimes I'd stop back to see if anyone wanted to come out on the lake. But anytime I would stop back at the dock....any time of day - if someone else had caught a fish - it was in a creel tied to the dock. Everyone in camp knew that Monica would come home with fish - so they would leave theirs on the dock and ask (usually just tell me) to filet them since I had to filet mine. We had a community kitchen building and typically all ate together at suppertime. And when we fileted fish we just threw them all in together to share.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind fileting fish at all...in fact I actually enjoy it. Nor do I mind helping - my dad was blind, so of course I did his - and even my families. But one day I told my mom that it "kinda pisses me off" that everyone leaves those fish in creels all day long because they know that *I* will be fileting fish. I mean - it's actually cruel to them and often some died because they were in the shallow baking in the sun. But anyways - my mom simply replied with "Monica, you'll figure this out - you always do".

I remember staying out later and later, even just around the point hoping that with darkness falling they'd fell they HAD to filet their fish - that only worked a few times - and actually, some of them would go release fish (again cruel at that point) and you'd see the fish struggle - often wash ashore too weak to swim. But they continued leaving them at the dock assuming I'd take care of the dirty work.

So during dinner one night as everyone ate and chatted about their days - I suddenly said - "can y'all stop leaving your fish on the dock assuming that I'll be back with fish to filet?". I remember the silence and everyone looking around at each other in silence. And then this one woman (she always had an answer) said - "but Monica you do such a wonderful job - a much better job than we can do". I remember just staring at her for a moment and then going back to eating my meal - I said nothing in response.

So of course that night passed and the days went on with me doing what I did - get up, fish, eat, fish, and so on. And the creels continued to be left at the dock. And I continued to filet EVERYONE's fish. But, I started doing something different. I would bring them to the kitchen and tell my mom (the mom's took turns cooking) which ones were my fish (I started using different bags for theirs versus ours) and to put them on a certain plate. As the dinners passed on over the next few days - the others began commenting about all of the bones in their fish. And the same vocal woman spoke up one night (her husband was the one who turned beet red and got so angry when I wouldn't have fish to filet) and said, "Monica this fish has a lot of bones in it, you should be more careful when you are fileting". To which...my probably 12 or13 year old self said - "well perhaps you should filet your own fish so that YOU can do it better than me and get all of the bones out".

My mom looked at me for a moment, looked down at her plate to taket another bite and then literally about spit her food out and released a giggle. (She had just realized that I had figured it out!) They all continued to chat about how bad their fish was - of course dropping in comments about me and how I needed to learn to do it better, perhaps sharpen my knife, etc....they all had all kinds of advice for me to filet fish better. At one point I looked over making eye contact with my mom. She smiled, winked and said "well mines delicious" and just continued eating. My dad concurred that he thought his was fantastic!

Now mind you - I wasn't trying to harm anyone - I was just doing the typical bad fileting most people do trying to get ALL of the meat knowing it would include bone. It's not uncommon for the fish we were eating to find a bone in a badly fileted piece. And, in fairness I always fileted our families fish as my dad was blind and couldn't. I never minded adding in a few here or there from others - but they had turned me into a one woman fish processing plant.

So the days passed, and there were NEVER creels left on the dock anymore. And I actually saw some people fileting here and then. It's funny - they caught a lot less fish when THEY had to filet them! So we were out in the boat a few days later - my mom, my dad and myself. And my mom suddenly said, "Monica I'm proud of you - I knew you could do it". I remember looking at her a bit confused - and said "do what"? She said - you figured out how to make them stop leaving all their fish at the dock for you to filet. I smiled. She smiled. My dad chuckled as he held his fishing rod. And we fished and enjoyed the day.

When we got back to the boathouse to unpack, I remember my mom saying something that has stuck with me to this day. And - is probably why I remember the events I've shared here so well. As I helped her out of the boat onto the dock - she put her hand on my shoulder and said - "that's what we'll call creative incompetence". She smiled, patted me on the shoulder and walked out of the boathouse. To this day - her words are one of the most important to me.

Sometimes, it's ok to do a bad job. Sometimes it's ok to fail. And sometimes, with failing comes success! Noone ever left their fish out on the dock again!