Five Truths of Terminating an Employee

Any time it’s necessary to terminate an employee—unless it’s for a totally grievous, narcissistic, serial-killer-like reason—it’s a bad day. After all, you’re telling someone they no longer have a job which initiates a chain reaction of adversity. You’ve sent that person, a real person with real thoughts and feelings, on a trajectory, almost certainly undesired, to figure out life without this job. You’ve made a seismic impact. While your focus and concern should be on the employee, here are five truths you need to know as the leader in this situation.

Truth One: It’s impossible to know how someone will take the news until it happens. I’ve had security waiting outside my office, thinking that I was going to be punched, and instead that person could not have been more calm, cool, and almost thankful. I’ve also had the quietest, kindest employee, the one who never reacted strongly to anything, surprise me with the anger of a caged lion. I’ve given up trying to guess which way things will go. I plan for the worst and hope for the best, knowing that their response is unpredictable.

Truth Two: Everyone is a hero in their own story. Many believe that even when they have royally screwed up, it’s not their fault, or even if is their fault, it’s not completely their fault. Although they may say “Yeah, I screwed up big time,” it’s often followed by a but. In those situations, you, as the leader, are probably going to take part of the blame, no matter what you did. It may not be limited to the employee either; blame could also come from their friends, family, or even people who weigh in based on a version of the story they hear. When terminating an employee, you must learn to accept the reality of this fact. Blame can be a coping mechanism used for dealing with this tough stuff.

Truth Three: The history of the event is written by the separated employee. This employee, as well as the people they tell, will be the ones to dictate the story, however wrong or right it may be. As the terminator, you don’t get to tell your side of the story—ever. When you terminate an employee, the price you pay for that choice is respecting the privacy of the act.

Truth Four: Sometimes things get ugly, the story gets twisted and turned, and an unfavorable version is told to people you know and respect. While you can’t tell your side, keep in mind that it doesn’t mean the other side is automatically accepted as truth. Most of us can separate fact from fiction, and we realize that there are two sides to every story. And people who know you will know your character and the way you operate.

Truth Five: If you know you treated the terminated employee as important, good, and valuable throughout the process, checked all the necessary boxes, and are comfortable with the final decision as unfortunate as it may be, then that’s what matters in the end. Terminating an employee is an excruciating task, period. But take comfort in knowing that you did your best to show respect and handle the situation as professionally as you could.

Steve Baue has more than 25 years of domestic and international experience in organizational development, human resources, and executive-level leadership. He owns Steve Baue, LLC, a consulting agency focused on helping leaders and organizations be themselves, but greater, and ERC: Counselors and Consultants, an employer benefit company helping lift the mental burdens that hold employees back from their full potential.