From Home To BoardRoom!

“Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.” – Warren Buffet

Dear Investors & Friends:

Welcome to this week’s SundayRead.

A few days ago, I came across this HBR article that posed a fascinating question: Does your CEO remind you of a family member who shaped your early life? Maybe it’s an older sibling who always called the shots, an aunt who redid your work because it wasn’t “good enough,” or a father whose approval you could never quite earn. The article stayed with me because, as a financial advisor, I’ve seen how these same dynamics play out—not just in leadership styles, but also in how people approach money.

Let me start with my own story. For years, I believed I was an excellent leader ( :D ) . I stepped in to solve problems, took control of details, and ensured everything ran smoothly. I thought I was being efficient. But when my daughter joined me in the business, she said something that struck a nerve: “You don’t let anyone figure things out on their own.” She was right. My behaviour stifled the very growth I wanted for my team.

Having got married at an early age, when I reflected, I realized I was mirroring an aunt-in-law - “Jiji” . Living alongside her, she’d redo everything—from folding clothes to arranging furniture—because it wasn’t up to her standards. I absorbed that habit and carried it into my professional life, even my finances, micromanaging every decision. Without realizing it, I’d created an environment where people felt incapable of taking ownership.

Over the years, I’ve seen these family dynamics show up repeatedly in my work with clients. When we sit down to discuss their financial goals, their answers often reveal more than their investment strategies—they reveal who they are.

Take Mr Rajesh, for instance. He was an overbearing investor, constantly tracking markets, micromanaging every detail of his portfolio. When we explored his approach, he inadvertently let out; his father had been a strict perfectionist. Mr Rajesh’s need for control was his way of feeling secure—an echo of his upbringing.

Then there was Mr Ramesh, who struggled to make financial decisions without validation. “Is this the safest option? What do others do?” he’d always ask. We often tell our clients to share their life story so far. In his case it became clear he was seeking approval, a pattern rooted in growing up in a joint family where he constantly tried to please elders. That same hesitation to take bold steps showed up in his leadership style too.

And Meera, a senior executive, avoided discussing finances altogether, leaving decisions to her spouse. When I probed, she admitted her family avoided conflict at all costs, sweeping difficult topics under the rug. That avoidance had seeped into her professional life, making tough conversations with her team almost impossible.

The link between family dynamics, leadership, and financial behaviour is undeniable. But once we recognize these patterns, we can work to change them. Here’s how I’ve done it—and how I encourage others to start:

Ask Questions: Reflection begins with questions. Why do I react strongly to certain situations? Why do I avoid risk or over-control details? The answers often lie in your past.

Listen to Feedback: Sometimes, the truth comes from unexpected places. For me, it was my daughter. For you, it could be a colleague, a spouse, or even your financial advisor. Pay attention—it’s often the mirror you need.

Trace the Roots: Once you spot a pattern, dig deeper. Is it tied to something from your childhood? Understanding where it comes from can be transformative.

Practice Letting Go: If you tend to control everything, start delegating. Trust your team—or your financial plan. It’s a muscle that strengthens with practice.

Embrace Collaboration: In leadership and finances, collaboration isn’t just practical—it’s empowering. Sharing responsibility creates room for growth, not just for others but for yourself.

Let me leave you with one more story. A friend, Priya, ran her business like she ran her home—efficient but inflexible. Her husband once teased her, “You run this office like Amma runs the kitchen—everything must be done your way.” That comment hit home. Priya started trusting her team more and sought professional help for her finances. The change was remarkable—not just in her business but in her confidence.

So, the next time you notice a behaviour in yourself—or someone else—that feels familiar, pause. Ask: Could this be an old story playing out? The answer might surprise you—and set you on a path to lasting growth.

Think over this thought. Until then, Ciao

Sincerely,

Kavita Bothra

Helping you think thoughts you may not have thought before.