From Kitchen Talker to Mountain Walker...

I have been made aware of a very funny meme recently, which seems to be circulating social media. The funniest part is, I think I have been sent this off about ten friends. Which says a lot really.

It goes as follows:

For those who don't know what a 'sesh head' is, according to Urban Dictionary its:

"A mad lad usually at a rave with a jaegerbomb and bottle of vodka in his/her hand, usually take pills or various other drugs such as cocaine or ketamine."

Yep, that pretty much sums up what I was like from the ages of 17 - 26.

I thought this article would actually give me the opportunity to share some of my thoughts and feelings on it, give you an indication into what I was like, and if you know me by now, you know I just speak exactly what I think, and I have no problems sharing my thoughts and past experiences.

So firstly, I think its absolutely hilarious, because there is no joy in taking everything so seriously. This is for you Karen, we seem to live in a world where everyone is just offended these days.

From a personal standpoint, I would not say I am a 'mountain walker' as I do not really tend to climb mountains that much (well not weekly, like some of those people sharing photos of their quads and tight leggings for 'the gram'), but I do absolutely love the great outdoors (this is weekly). That said, I have indulged in many walks to Roseberry Topping, as well as UK wide, and just last week, I covered just short of 30 miles outdoors, so maybe I can tick this box. But it is more the camping, or sitting in my van that I enjoy most. My 'leave me the fuck alone space' as I like to call it. (i.e self-care).

Secondly, if you also know my approach, it is far from a 'preacher' (To be honest, you know this field gets right on my wick sometimes).

I say this quite often, but quite frankly, I do not care less what you get up to in your spare time. I still have many friends who would tick the box of 'sesh head' and I still love them all the same. However, if they came to me and said they are struggling, I would be the first person to sit and support them (with the many tools I have learned over the years).

Also, to expand on this, from a personal standpoint, I do not believe it was the 'sesh' which caused my battles with poor mental health. I believed a big part of the reason I did it was:

1. Because I was young, experimenting.
2. Because all I could ever think day to day was to 'get to the weekend', because at least then I got to spend two days, absolutely off my head, forgetting the fact that I absolutely resented my daily existence, working in jobs I hated. It was not a drug issue, it was a 'purpose' and a directional issue. The lifestyle was a symptom of a bigger issue. We can help people create direction in their lives with our tools, as I know what it feels like to feel 'lost.'

That said, I am also fully aware that such choices were doing me NO FAVOURS, so I am not naïve to that. They just made Mondays significantly worse. I could not focus on personal growth (I did not even know what it was), when my head was buried through the floor, because my serotonin levels were shot to bits. It obviously was not helping.

Since getting involved in this field, I have found something else which spikes my dopamine levels more naturally...cold showers. As well as nature. I will discuss the benefits soon.

In regards to never preaching, I will also say this, I am not t-total, I just drink alcohol FAR less than I used to. I drink less than I ever have done in my life. I still enjoy a social occasion and sometimes have some beers.

The difference is now, I have learned how to go home and not party for 72 hours straight. Not only this, I AM HAPPY with where my relationship is with alcohol, so quite frankly, I do not need someone lecturing me on it, regardless of what you think. Some people like having a beer, some people don't. Everything is always going to cause a natural divide. We all have different beliefs and viewpoints.

Not only this, who the hell am I to lecture people, look at what I am telling you now.

I see it all the time with some coaches preaching on it (not all), but some of these coaches will drink cans of fizzy drinks, probably eat a bit of chocolate, and skip a day at the gym. The point is, if we are looking at being 'perfect', absolutely nobody is? Monster energy is still unhealthy isn't it. We ALL have bad habits. I don't care what anyone says. For some, it is with their phones, some to porn, some with online shopping, the list goes on.

What I will say is, it fundamentally comes down to you. This is why its called PERSONAL growth. This is why I say don't listen to those people telling you what you need to do, do what works for you.

If you feel there is an area in your life which is causing you PAIN, then there is something you can do about it. My pain was mainly CAREER related.

However, like with anything, you have to WANT to make changes. I know my sugar intake is questionable, but am I going to stop eating cheesecake? No, I am very happy with my BMI, my general health, and I just fucking love cheesecake.

The problem I had when I first got involved in this field was I thought I needed to be 'squeeky clean' and perfect, because that's what everyone tells you. However, my only goal is making sure that I am happy with where I am at. That is all it should ever be. This is all it EVER should be for you.

Journal prompt: Is there an area of your life where you feel you could make improvements?

If so, you have the capacity to do so.

At this moment in time, I am VERY HAPPY with where I am at. I feel fit, I feel great mentally, and I am working on things which inspire me. Not only this, I am ALWAYS assessing it. This is what this field has taught me.

We have so many people telling us what we 'should' do, you SHOULD go to university, you SHOULD not drink, you SHOULD have cold showers, you SHOULD meditate. The list goes on. Seriously, just do what works for you. I just share my beliefs based on my experience, what has worked for me, I am not telling you its right.

So for me now, I know having a beer means I am going to feel more lethargic for a few days (I can accept this sometimes, just not every week anymore).

If you never want to drink alcohol again, and that makes you happy, then I am in full support of you. I honestly think 'good for you, fair play.' If you want to drink alcohol every weekend down the pub (just as my dad has done for over 40 years, then you do that too - His mental health is fine).

On flipping this article on its head, I am also going to share with you, why this new found lifestyle of self-proclaimed 'half-chav, half-hippie' (CHIPPY) or 'kitchen talker to mountain walker' has served me so well. This might help you too:

I simply love the quiet

More than anything else, the biggest benefit for me with getting in nature is the quiet. I mean it is SO quiet. I often describe it as two worlds. The modern world is so fast and so busy, I find that taking myself away for a period of time is so therapeutic. It is extremely calming for my mind. I come back every time feeling refreshed. This is the complete opposite to a '3-day bender.' I lose a sense of time when I am out in the van or nature. Again though, obviously some people always want their say on it (as with everything). I was recently shown a video how getting into nature is a 'trauma response' apparently. Let me get this clear, there is a place for trauma informed practice, but this has NOTHING to do with trauma, and simply a place to provide self-care. Behave yourself.

Journal prompt: How could you increase the self-care in your own life?

A chance for reflection

I reflect a LOT when I go out in my van. I often take my journal, and I spend some important time reflecting on everything. I assess key areas of my life. I 'think' about things. This again, is a lot different to having the loudest mouth in a pub. Self-reflection for me is vital, it forms the core of what we teach, and finding the space to reflect is so important in my opinion.

Journal prompt:

-What has went well this week?

- What needs improving?

I enjoy the discomfort

Just last week when including walking, running and long dog walks, I covered just short of 30 mile. A decent week stomping around. Not only this, I spent one night camping in a 'bivvy' which in summary, is a very small 'tent' which provides minimal shelter, and as my partner put it... "you are sleeping in a bin bag." It is madness to some, but feeling a little bit uncomfortable, getting wet, slogging in the rain, makes you appreciate all your home comforts that little bit more. It increases your gratitude for it. Every year I challenge myself to do at least one big fitness challenge for this very reason, and I have been consistent for the last three years doing this. Going to these uncomfortable places helps build your resilience. This is not a 'mindset' chant, but simply a suggestion to consider doing something which puts you in 'less comfort', whatever this looks like for you. You will reap the rewards.

Journal Prompt: How could you challenge yourself to get a little bit uncomfortable? (It looks different for every single person)

I enjoy it - Find your 'peace'

This is simple really and the most important thing. I just love it. I genuinely feel most at 'peace' when I am out in my van or camping. It is my favourite thing to do by a country mile. I have been doing it for a number of years now, much longer than it became a recent trend it seems. But you know what, good for those other people who are really enjoying it too.

The word 'peace' seems to foster ideas of a hippie wearing a rainbow coloured jacket for a lot of people, but I genuinely believe we are all searching for some inner peace and it does not need to be a strange topic.

Don't believe me? what is the first thing we say when someone takes their life through suicide...

"I hope their at peace now"

I encourage you to find something that brings you a sense of 'peace.' This looks completely different for every single person, but I believe that we should have a hobby or an activity that brings you this sense of calm, away from the chaos of modern life. It is so vital for our wellbeing in my opinion.

Journal Prompt: What place brings you the greatest sense of inner peace?

Concluding

To end this section, I just want to reiterate what I always say and that is:

"Do what works for you!"

There is no magical answer to 'perfect' mental wellbeing. As well as this, nobody is perfect (a core part of my ethos).

The reason we share a variety of tools (but in particular journaling) is because that is what worked for me. For others, they could not think of anything worse.

However, with that said, I do also believe it is important to share a very valuable quote.

“I believe depression is legitimate. But I also believe that if you don’t exercise, eat nutritious food, get sunlight, consume positive material, surround yourself with support, then you aren’t giving yourself a fighting chance.” - Jim Carrey

So in addition to spending much less time in my old lifestyle, I also encourage people to start with the fundamentals.

When I was at my lowest, putting some fucking blueberries on my porridge was not going to change the fact I hated my career, but over-time through building more positive habits, my mental wellbeing stays at a much greater consistent healthy level.

However, that is not to say it will never change. It something happened to my dog tomorrow, my mood would fall through the floor.

The point of this is that "not every day is unicorns and rainbows" and it is why I hate "just think positively", It is so fucking unrealistic, its genuinely frightening in my opinion. It has even been given a term now, 'toxic positivity' and I must say, I do agree.

The difference is, because I have worked in this field for over five years now, I have a range of tools I can support myself with, and we also support students and staff too.

As you can see, we deliver things a little bit differently, but we do have a range of PROACTIVE coaching tools which we can support both students and staff in wider organisations with, with the key focus on helping to improve their mental wellbeing and give them the tools for their own personal growth. Get in touch with us if you want something which is a little bit different.

We are currently offering a Journal + 2 hour coaching workshop + a self-help resource, for a price that in my opinion, is extremely HIGH VALUE for money.