From Layoffs to Self-Discovery: Finding Worth Beyond the Workplace

Every now and then I like to pass the mic to my fellow sisters on the journey of career healing and liberation. I’m excited to welcome a remarkable guest writer, Dalona Jones , to our home at the Dreaming + Doing digest. In this heartfelt piece, Dalona shares a deeply personal narrative that many of us can relate to —a poignant journey of self realization and exploring self-worth beyond the confines of the workplace. Enjoy.

Ariane

Dreaming + Doing Digest

I witnessed the unexpected layoffs of dear friends, family, and even my roommate during the tumultuous COVID-19 pandemic. Similarly, I found myself laid off from a role I believed would offer the needed respite and experience, having left behind a stable yet toxic insurance job as a young graduate student. I convinced myself that, by persistently navigating my academic path like the strong, resilient Black woman I was taught to be, I would find a position and a company valuing my work ethic, interpersonal charm, and innovative ideas. Fast forward two short years, and at the age of 24, I secured my initial role in Ed-Tech.

Now, there's no shortage  of articles, posts, and TikTok videos about navigating workplaces ridden with micromanagement, unpleasant colleagues, or a job you despise. But what happens when you actually enjoy your job and your team? Just a month before my self-proclaimed "Hot Girl Summer 2023," set to kick off with a trip to Chicago for Beyonce's Renaissance tour, I received the disheartening news from my manager on an ordinary Wednesday morning: my upcoming season was to be an "Unemployed Hot Girl Summer." Despite the disappointment—having been promoted merely a few months earlier—the math was not mathing. So I did what any normal person would do and helped myself to a few midday tacos and more than a few margaritas, while I sorted myself out. I reassured myself, "...don't let it weigh you down for too long; you just have to get back out there," a self-pep talk resembling consoling a friend after a string of bad Tinder dates.

After weeks of making job hunting, resume revisions, and cover letter writing my new 9-5, the harsh reality of the hyper-competitive job market struck me like a left hook from Ronda Rousey. I began to realize this period wasn't akin to 2020, and the "bounce back" might take longer this time. Like cheaply applied nail polish, cracks in my outwardly polished professional armor started to appear. I struggled to establish a daily routine for myself. I was reminded of times where I passionately moderated and spoke on panels for career changers, emphasizing, "Your work or career journey does not define you. What you do to pay bills is merely an exchange of value between two parties and in no way defines your identity or worth as a person."

It was time for me to heed my own advice.

Being on the other side of the employment fence some days felt like swallowing shots of vinegar. I rehearsed my "I'm currently in between opportunities" spiel whenever the inevitable question, "What do you do?" came up in conversation. I was compelled to continue owning my career journey and story, just as I had coached others to do.

Amidst battling financial insecurity, imposter syndrome, and a slight crisis in self-worth, I found solace in my love for music. Finishing the vocals for my first single, attending midday studio sessions, and unveiling my creative side to the world renewed my sense of pride more than any positive performance review. It was when I allowed myself the space to recognize how proud "little Dalona" would be of "Big Dalona" for chasing her dreams that the real inner work commenced.

What did it genuinely mean to disentangle what I do for a living, what I'm capable of, and how I align with my purpose?

Rejection emails stung less when I had upcoming flights to visit cool cities and family. I began to feel more secure in graciously removing myself from consideration after dreadful interviews. With a new goddaughter and nephew, it became imperative for me to advocate for myself, setting an example for their future paths. As soon as I started appreciating what I did have—a supportive husband, encouraging friends and family, and past colleagues and managers willing to be references or write recommendations—divine timing began to reveal its true significance more than my ego ever did.

So much of our existence within a capitalist society hinges on what we can achieve, produce, monetize, and hustle for. It's about doing things better than others to be recognized, promoted, or simply deemed good enough to persist. The many soft skills, experiences, and degrees crammed onto a one-page resume was merely a fraction of my identity. As it turned out, there was nothing I had to "do" to become worthy of my next job or self-created opportunities; I simply had to continue "being." This was a crucial declaration for me, having been accustomed to being the youngest and often the only Black team member in professional spaces.

Wherever you find yourself in your career, I encourage you to make this declaration too. A job serves as a resource, sometimes a means to propel you from point A to point B, much like a gas station fuels your journey. If you aren't utilizing that fuel to power everything outside of work, ensure you aren't overfilling your tank, as there's no reward for being above "full." Get what you need from it and keep moving forward, ideally towards a place that serves you a margarita.

Oh, and if you’re curious about the music tip, I go by DALONA.

Over to you. Have you ever been laid off unexpectedly? What’s been your biggest insight from that time? Join us in the comments! 

PS: To learn more about my work visit me at www.arianehunter.com. To get in touch about my one-on-one coaching programs, career equity consulting or for speaking engagements, reach out here. To support my writing, consider becoming a premium subscriber today.