The Gator, 42 flights of stairs, and the climb to success as an agent: A motivational tale

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” - Lao Tzu

Another restless night. Like many of you, I suffer from bouts of insomnia. My brain simply refuses to shut off. “Genius” idea after idea randomly pop into my head and I'm compelled to whip out Evernote and capture these ideas before they disappear into the darkest recesses of my mind, never to be seen again. My lovely wife, Laura pleads with me to turn it off and get some sleep, but my overstimulated brain won’t have it. Finally, at 5 AM the sun begins to illuminate the city, I’ve lost my will to fight and resigned to the fact that sleep isn’t going to happen this time around.

I have an idea! My brain exclaims as I jump out of bed, onto my feet, and head to the girls' room.

“But Daddy, I’m tired” my 9-year-old youngest daughter, Alexandra whimpers as I affectionately pull her sleeping body from bed. Now, I suppose waking your 9-year-old daughter from a full sleep isn’t going to win the hearts of fellow parents reading this, but stick with me, this story has a happy ending. “Let’s climb the stairs to the top of the building”, I whisper to Alex as she’s trying to maintain sleep standing up. The expression on her face is the perfect blend of excitement, sleepiness, and disbelief. Since we have relocated into our High-rise condo in the Spire building in heart of downtown Denver, my little Alex has been trying to convince me to take this stair climbing expedition with her. For various reasons, most of which include common sense, I have postponed Alex on this plan and opted to take the elevator. As a result, you can tell that she’s interested, but it’s hard to be enthusiastic about anything at 5 AM and her disdain for this idea is showing. Gator (as I call to her as a reference to Alli-gator, a play on her name, and as a fond reminder that as a toddler one of her favorite bad habits was to bite me with her sharp little teeth and smile as big as she could, so she knew I would be overcome by her cuteness and just hug her, worked.....every......time) eventually agreed that although it was REALLY early, it was something she wanted to do. Despite her desire to stay in bed, the pull of adventure was too strong for her little heart to resist. However, as in the beginning of any adventure movie, our little explorer had no idea what she was in for.

I find this very similar to real estate agents who attend our weekly recruiting meetings. We deliberately hold the recruiting meetings in the middle of the business day. This holds two purposes, one, the obvious convenience to myself and my recruiting team. The other is a built-in test of the commitment levels of the applicants. In most cases, the applicants to our real estate school and coaching program have day jobs, so this meeting time makes them have to juggle time off from their employer to attend our group interview. Like Gator, they begin their day feeling tired, a little frazzled, and with no idea what to expect. In many cases, their sense of adventure proves to be so compelling, that they attend. Well, some of them do. We have tracked our statistics to show that about 50% of those who RSVP for our recruiting events actually show up. Perhaps they opted to stay in bed like little Gator wanted or perhaps they are just not good at keeping their word. In either case, they have instantly made themselves a bad fit for our program and our company. So, we don’t spend much time lamenting over them. Instead, we focus our attention on those who show up. They are clearly adventurous people who pushed through their life resistance and are legitimately looking for a new career in the real estate field. However, also similar to Gator, they don’t know what they are getting into just yet. To amplify their concerns, I walk into the meeting and cheerfully announce “I’m Donny Coram, CMO and team lead of Pink Realty Denver and apparently you fine people want to be real estate agents.....or so you think”. The response from the varying number of wanna-be recruits in the room range from nervous laughter to utter silence, the adventure has begun.

Little Gator has managed to stumble quietly through getting dressed for her trek. She still looks exhausted though and I have to admit, the Daddy in me kind of wants to call this whole thing off. She’s so cute and determined, but the impending ordeal may not be the positive experience I’m hoping for. Undeterred by my initial dash of Daddy doubt, I throw on my Pink Realty workout shirt, grab my phone to capture the moment, and head out the door. “So how many flights do you want to do, Gator?” Now, I know the question is purely rhetorical, but I’m interested to see how she responds. “I dunno Daddy”, she yawns. “Well baby" I insist, "we have to have a goal, but it’s important that YOU set it”. From the 35th floor condo, we have only 7 flights of stairs to reach the top, but what would be the fun in that? I pry a bit more, to see if it can coax her into setting her own goal, but it’s to no avail. Finally, I offer what seems like a reasonable compromise, “Let's start at the bottom floor and see how far we get, ok?” She nods sleepily, still believing this is going to end quickly. And it is, but not nearly as quickly as she thinks.

My experience with recruiting is almost the same. My recruits work with us to pass their test and then show up freshly licensed and excited, but clearly tired from the 3-6 weeks of training and studying for their license exams. “Welcome to the big leagues!” I exclaim to them in their first sales meeting as a licensed agent, but the license is just the bottom floor. It’s the byproduct of following their sense of adventure long enough to crawl out of bed. It’s the beginning of a long and unknown journey. The future is uncertain and as the team lead, I’m foraging their path like a safari guide with a thick Australian accent. “Let’s go, mates!”. Goal Setting is crucial, I always ask, and pry as required for the recruits financial and personal goals, and like Gator, I typically don’t get a clear response. Eventually, the new agent and I agree to start at the ground floor and see what happens. But things are rarely as simple as they seem, right?

“Ok Daddy, so how many floors ARE we going to do”, Alex whines on the 1st floor of the building. “Well let’s do the first ten and see how you feel, ok babe?” Now here’s the thing, my wife and I recently challenged each other to do this 42 flight of stairs ascent and I know how grueling it is, but this is my baby we’re discussing now. I don’t honestly know if she’s going to have the energy to complete this journey and I have no idea how far she can go. At this point, I’m almost certainly more nervous about this than she is, “What if she falls on the stairs?”, “What if she twists her ankle?” Again, fighting off the warnings of the internal overprotective Dad, I vow silently to myself not to let my fear guide her future and we set off. “Ok, Gator, you ready?”, she nods, “Let’s go”. She sets off quickly, outpacing me with her little legs almost instantly. My desire to watch from behind in case she falls coupled with 31 more years of life experience (read: feeling my age) in pushing myself to exhaustion too early allows me to set a pace where she’s ahead but not too far ahead where I can’t see her. After 5 floors, my strategy proves accurate as we start to match pace. Arriving at the 10th floor. Alex stops to rest, and I smile. “You ok, honey?”. She looks annoyed, but it’s a blend of still not wanting to do this task and audacity that I would accuse her of being tired after ONLY 10 flights of stairs. “Yes, Dad”. “Ok, do you want to do another 10 flights?” Still longing for bed, but pleased with her performance so far, she agrees to continue. “Ah-ha!” I think to myself, so as not to spoil the moment, “We’re going to the top” but at this point, the end is truly anyone's guess.

The first few weeks in my prospecting room are generally the most telling. We start every day at 8 AM sharp, we do positive focus as a group. Positive Focus is a practice I learned from my coach Lars Hedonberg, it is a sharing of a brief positive thing about our lives from each member of the team in a group setting. It single- handedly revolutionized our business and corporate culture. Next, some motivational speaking from the team lead, and then the prospecting shift begins. A 2-hour round of cold calling on potential sellers and buyers in our market. This process washes out about 40% of the agents in about 30 days, and probably 70% within the first 90 days. Most sales trained agents find success very early in this model and many who are not committed to the process of learning prospecting, don’t find it at all. Agents who show up daily dressed for success, which is a requirement in our office, are generally easy to find, those who can add being in the right state of mind consistently are far more rare. Identifying and spending time with these outliers is one of my favorite parts of the job. New agents who were prompted to get a real estate license after watching Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy and /or after a friend referred them to the career for the “easy” money are typically gone within a week. The journey to success in real estate is never measured in the 5-7 minutes that it took to get to the 10th floor but rather in the YEARS of persistence and determination to make a career where so many others have failed. In my recruiting presentation, I candidly explain that the educational path to real estate success is much like getting a college degree and should be given 4 years of time with advanced students getting there in 3 years at very best case. I find that for some reason, recruits don’t seem to believe me. I mean, Phil Dunphy makes it look so easy on TV? How could this take 4 YEARS to master? Many of my recruits find their beginning income within the first week of being licensed through a combination of persistence and beginners' luck. Few stand the test of time and create the life they want through a successful career in real estate. 

Halfway there, on the 21st floor, Alex’s pace has slowed a little, but her interest in this exploration of persistence has now been reduced to zero. And she's in no mood for a photo shoot, so I have no picture of Gator on 21st to share. “Halfway there, baby”, I reassure her. “What do you want to do?” I can see the wheels in her turning now, Thoughts of “I’m tired” and “I can DO this” are in an epic battle in her head to see which though will reign victorious. Left to her own internal dialogue, she would clearly choose to head for the door and back to her warm bed, but I’m really just waiting to see how strong her desire is to keep going. My intent is to find any sense of desire left in her. After all, we're halfway there. She can't possibly end her journey now, can she? After a few eternally long seconds of silence, she reluctantly heads up the stairs.

This is arguably the hardest part for me as a coach (and maybe a Dad too). So many of my recruits make it halfway through their path to success and then head towards the door with nothing to show for it. However, although my little Gator reached her halfway point in about 10 minutes, the halfway point for new agents is the first year. 12 months into the game any agents have made the greatest financial sacrifices of their lives. And if they are seeing success, they have also made the largest time investments of their lives. If they haven't put in the time, they are languishing. Hopefully, they have sold the 3-4 homes that the average agent sells annually. If the time investment has truly been made, they are seeing the greatest financial success they've ever seen, but they have not yet found the balance needed to keep their career sustainable. At this point, I normally observe through all too familiar recounts of my experiences through agent recruits stories as their spouse is beginning to complain, their kids are beginning to distance from them, and their lives are beginning to fall apart. In either case, the first year in real estate, the halfway point is rarely celebrated and many end their career at this point regardless of how much money they've made at this stage. The first is year in the business is all about learning. It's much like getting your Associate's Degree, it's the basic classes consisting mostly of courses that one believes they already know. English 100, College level Algebra (which strangely resembles High School Algebra), and the like. Most students at this level believe these classes are a waste of their time. However, nothing could be further from the truth that they will learn in their Sophomore year. The classes are taught in their freshman year were not designed to advance their understanding of the subject matter, but rather to teach the student how to THINK at a college level. The same is true of the coursework taught in the first year in business. Obviously, most people know how to talk, but our Prospecting training and role-playing teaches how to talk like a real estate agent. Those with limited sales experience will have to work harder to master this new way of thinking and communicating. Simply speaking is an entirely different process than Persuasive speaking. Both share a common goal of wanting to express a thought, but one is designed to incite the recipient of the message to take some kind of action. Most people arrive at their training with a limited understanding of the idea of buying or selling real estate, but this first year is to teach an understanding of how to relay the process to complete layman. Good students will find themselves picking up the lingo quickly. Many see success early on. Many of my students have made six-figure incomes in their first year. Financially, they are ecstatic, but the strife in their personal lives prove to be too much in many cases. This is not limited to the real estate profession, most lucrative professions including Law, Medicine, and countless others share this high barrier to entry. The goal in the first year is to learn the business and find success in providing for yourself and for your family. A secondary goal is to learn to find balance with their newfound work schedule and their family. In either case, the halfway point is really just the beginning of the journey. A balancing act. Like the Sophomore year of college, the real work is about to begin.

Upon reaching the thirtieth floor, Alex pauses to take a breath but was still in no mood for a picture. Her "Appease-Daddy" smile says it all. She's fighting to contain her excitement. She can't possibly stop now, she's come too far. The final 12 floors seem almost too easy and she breaks into a near sprint to the top. Of course, I'm exhausted now, and my pace has slowed to a virtual crawl. Her small and lightweight little frame glides easily up the stairs in a gazelle-like fashion. In seconds, I can no longer see her, but rather I listen intently for her tiny footsteps as she continues up the stairs, leaving me well behind but still close enough to hear her stumble loudly on one of the steps on a floor above. Instantly feeling confirmation on my worst fears, I increase my speed and yell ahead, "Are you OK, Gator?" "Yes, Dad, I'm fine." and the steps continue. She's clearly undaunted by her likely minor stumble. However, Daddy is still upset. I struggle to get closer to her in case there are any other missteps, but it's to no avail. She's simply too fast. By the 36th floor, I resign myself to listening intently for her steps again and continue my far more comfortable pace. The worry subsides, and I smile, imagining the look on her face as she fights off the fatigue building in her legs and I'm forced to only imagine the joy on her face when she crosses the 40th floor. At this point, I can't help but pat myself on the back a bit, she's going to make it. I encouraged my daughter to do a good thing. I have my daughters for only a few days out of each month, any Daddy points are a "win" in my book. And this is starting to feel like a win.

The start of the second year is truly the defining period of an agent career. The beginning of the year is met with most resistance, but by the end the second year, the agent is beginning to understand what it's going to take to make a lifelong career of the Real Estate industry. Believe it or not, many agents still quit at the 18-month mark. Many have exhausted their financial resources trying to live on the 3-4 deals that most unsuccessful agents see in their first year. Others find financial success, but their personal relationships are at breaking point because they haven't found balance. I was certainly in this category. The strife between my Sophomore and Junior years in the business caused such a strain on my marriage that it was eventually entirely unrecognizable from its beginning state and ended in a messy divorce. I had certainly achieved financial success, but most was wiped out by the onslaught if legal fees in a relentless custody battle. I had purchased a couple of homes and was building a passive income portfolio, most of it was leveraged or lost in the divorce. All of the hard work that had been invested had been wiped out by an unnecessarily bitter battle with my former spouse. From this experience, the lesson I try to instill in my agent recruits is to find balance as soon as possible and get "sign off" from their spouse for the period in the beginning of the career where work-life balance is virtually impossible. Without this permission, it was far too late for me when I finally found a way to balance my career with my family. Today, I am happily remarried to a fellow seasoned real estate professional. In simple terms, my gorgeous wife Laura and I work because she "gets" me and the mind of an incessant entrepreneur as she is one herself. However, most agents who are married to entrepreneurial "civilians" are not as fortunate. Many spouses of agent recruits are stay at home parents due to the unpredictable schedule requirements of the real estate profession. These spouses, who likely were very supportive of the career choice of their wannabe real estate spouse in the first 90 days are now beginning to tire of the unpredictable nature of the career less than a year later. Late night showings, early closings, and networking meetings have all had a negative effect on the spouse. Working spouses suffer in kind with agent recruit. Whereas, most jobs have both predictable hours and incomes, the real estate agent has neither. These typically well-meaning spouses have now become nags despite their early attempts to be supportive. They ask for the agent recruit to be home at a certain hour for dinner as a family, which is nearly impossible in a career that sees its most productive hours on the evenings and weekends. They become understandably weary of their spouse on their phone during family vacations and other important events. I once had to go help a family gain access into their new home on Christmas Eve. Needless to say, no one except the client, was happy about my heroism. The result of this situation is that real estate agents rank as one the highest professions to find their marriages ending in divorce. An understanding significant other with a stable source of income, not a requirement for making it this far, but it certainly can be a deciding factor in success. To leave at this stage in the game seems like a waste, after all, you're so close. I plead with agents to push through, even offering to meet with spouses and explain that the strain they are feeling is a normal part of the process, and the end is near. Many of my agents are able to find home life balance in 18-24 months from start and the struggles diminish. All are thankful they pushed through. Some like myself, end up exposing the holes in their relationships that were there before their career change and find a significant other that understands that failure is not an option once they are committed to providing for their family in the way they've always dreamed. Without exception, everyone that pushes through this time of resistance is glad that they did in the end. Like Gator, this near the top phase tends to happen quickly with no time for a photo shoot. Buck up recruit, You're hitting your stride, don't stop now.

I'm now no less than 3 stories behind and panting like a dog at this point. My young warrior has stopped to survey her accomplishment. Not voluntarily mind you, I've yelled ahead pleading with her to stop so I can shoot a picture to capture the moment. The picture doesn't do it justice, Gator was elated. She had fought through her perceived limits and reached the final two flights of stairs. "You ready babe?", I ask for the second time this morning. She nods and shoots up the final two flights in what takes moments. I'm holding back tears as I see her expression as I walk up the final flight of stairs. Her face at the door of the 42nd floor says it all. Just minutes ago, this journey seemed impossible. Now it's over and she stands on the final landing feeling victorious. Of course, I want to take a little credit for dragging her out of bed and forcing her forward despite her protests. But there's no time for a "Daddy" moment right then, this is her time. She opens the door and walks down the long hallway to the SkyClub at the Spire building. The SkyClub is a private lounge reserved only for the use of residents of the top 10 floors of the building. And now it has become the Winner's Circle of one very proud little 9-year-old girl. My Gator. It's my second time completing this hike and I'm sweating profusely from the exertion and the increased temperature of the stairwell. Gator skips down the hallway to the top floor lounge. I ceremoniously open the door and allow her to enter first. I wish I had recorded it, but I can picture it in my head today as vividly as any video camera would have captured it. Her body language showed her excitement and sense of accomplishment. The sun crested the horizon as if to welcome her to her accomplishment. The adrenalin kept her walking with a slight bounce to her step. She had DONE it. I was overcome with pride. My little Gator had achieved what most would never attempt, and she had completed the task on her own accord albeit some prompting from ol' Coach Daddy. We stood on the balcony in silence watching the sun continue its climb until I managed to regain my composure, hugged her tightly and said, "Do You see this?", pointing at the incredible view of the city from 42 stories in the sky. She nodded, "Yes". "You can do ANYTHING, Alex, anything at all". An important lesson, because right now Gator is aspiring to be an astronaut when she grows up. I'm praying that she keeps that goal and intend to reinforce it as often as possible. I recorded a Facebook Live video where joked that if Alex can do this at her age, then anyone could. Completely untrue, but I'm not certain my sarcasm was noted. What was clearly understood was that Gator would never forget this experience. The celebration was short. We finished watching the sunrise and then I took her downstairs to our 35th story condo and she promptly went back to bed. The next morning Laura overheard her boasting to her older sisters about her accomplishment. The only trophy Gator wanted was recognition from her sisters that she had done something they had yet to do. I wonder if she ever contemplated if the entire experience was a dream. If so, I'm certain it was a dream that she will never forget. I'm still so proud of her. Recently, Gator was struggling to get something down off a shelf just out of her reach. " I can't reach it, Daddy", she exclaimed. I replied, noting an obvious solution to her problem nearby. "Well, you did climb the stairs to the top of building so.......". She sighed and pulled a chair over to aid in her ascent to the shelf all without further prompting. I wonder how long I'll be able to motivate her with that line. "I can't get accepted to NASA as a freshman in high school, Daddy". "Well, you did climb 42 stories of stairs when you were 9, so........."

It's the final months of the 2-year journey of my recruits becoming real estate agents. It's been a long tough road for them, but at this point, I consider myself a seasoned veteran at this recruiting and coaching process and they are a testament to the validity of our process. If the agent is still arriving at our morning sales meeting at this point, make no question, they are a bonafide real estate agent. Income? Check. Family? Check. "Donny-Confirmed"-10-year retirement plan? Double Check. Now, I get the pleasure of watching their ear to ear grin as they report their second-year income and share their war stories with those who are still in their journey. Many agents at this stage are contemplating starting their own teams and those who are interested in leadership positions within the organization are preparing for those positions. Many have been with me since the beginning and I look at them and feel a sense of pride. Not for what I've done, but what I've been permitted to witness first hand. To say this is the best part of the job is an incredible understatement. For me real estate isn't about a job, it's about a level of freedom achieved by a small few. I can't tell you the stats on how many people stay in the profession after they cross this threshold because the numbers who make it to this point are extremely low. Many of these individuals have become close friends as well as professional colleagues of mine. This certainly isn't the end of the story, this is the beginning of the real estate agents' journey. Like Gator, the journey to the top is the most memorable times in their career. The lessons learned in these years become the defining period of the agent's profession and in many cases their lives. Agents who develop skills and habits of prospecting, follow up, and building their sphere of influence over time find success in good markets and bad alike, while those who fail to develop these skills find themselves doing well in good markets and looking for stable employment in bad markets. Many leave the industry in the down markets frustrated and never return to our industry. I find this to be an incredible loss, many good people under the correct coaching and best practices that can only be provided by a good mentor will find years of success and the financial and personal freedom that only a handful of industries can provide. Like any success story, the road is hard and difficult in the beginning, but over time begins to get easier. Like my little Gator's voyage to the top, there's an exit door on every level so the choice to give up and find an easier source of income is constantly in sight. Those who complete the ascent will enjoy the view at the top and most will speak fondly of the struggles during these life-changing years. Families strained by this process now find themselves more free to enjoy their time together by having found the ideal work-life balance and income that exceeds their direct needs. Financially those people who invest in their product with our mentorship in real estate investing find themselves outside the need to produce an income in the conventional sense and the freedom that comes from passive income sources. All of the luxuries and lifestyle choices that just two years prior may have seemed attainable to only likes of the Uber-wealthy now seem well within their grasp. Although it's nearly impossible to have achieved retirement level income in 24 short months, most agents can now see a clear path to their retirement as little as 10 years from the date of obtaining their license. Once free of the conventional wisdom of income production, my recruits now see the world through an entirely different lens. It's truly a sight to behold and it's truly the best of part of being in the recruiting part of real estate business. It's our core focus: Improving the world through our people, our clients, and our communities.

Though the two years may have ended like my little Gator's unexpected journey, uneventful and back in bed, the view from the top is worth every step. If you are considering starting or expanding your career in real estate, I implore you to get up, get going, and message me today to get started. I'd be honored to be a part of your ascent to the top of your real estate career. I implore you to get moving today though, your 1000-mile journey begins with a single step.