Get Ghosted Is Good!

Hello Friends!

There are few experiences that are as frustrating as being ghosted - whether by a promising sales lead, a recruiter, or even a long-standing client. It can feel deeply personal, leaving you questioning your value and actions. However, there’s an empowering silver lining to this seemingly negative experience. Being ghosted can build self-confidence, strengthen your resilience, and teach you valuable lessons about control and self-worth.

In today's article, we’ll explore why being ghosted can actually be a good thing, how it reveals more about others than about you, and ways to turn this frustrating experience into an opportunity for growth.

It's Not About You

Let’s get one thing straight: being ghosted says more about the person doing the ghosting than it does about you. Research indicates that avoidance behaviors, like ghosting, are often a reflection of the ghoster’s inability to handle conflict or discomfort, rather than a direct judgment of the person being ghosted.

In a 2018 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, ghosting was linked to fear of confrontation or emotional discomfort. This applies just as much to professional relationships as personal ones. For example:

• A recruiter who suddenly stops responding may be overwhelmed with internal hiring changes.
• A client who vanishes might be embarrassed about their inability to afford your services.
• A lead who promised to get back to you might simply have reprioritized their goals.

Recognizing that these behaviors are typically about their limitations, and not your worth, can be liberating.

What You Can Control: Focus on Yourself

Being ghosted is an excellent reminder of a universal truth: you can only control what you can control. Your behavior, attitude, and professionalism are within your power; others’ actions are not.

Here’s how this mindset builds confidence:

• Reframing Rejection: Instead of seeing ghosting as a reflection of failure, view it as part of the process. According to research, successful salespeople face rejection 80% of the time but remain confident because they see every “no” as a step closer to the next “yes.”
• Validation Through Action: Knowing you gave your best effort, whether it’s crafting a perfect pitch or delivering stellar work, creates an inner sense of accomplishment. When you’re confident in your abilities, external validation becomes less critical.

When I’ve been ghosted in my consulting and speaking practice, I remind myself that I acted with integrity. I followed up professionally, provided value, and respected the relationship. Their silence is their choice, not a reflection of my worth.

Turning Ghosting Into Growth

Ghosting can feel like a dead end, but it’s actually a fork in the road. Here’s how to leverage these moments for growth:

1. Build Emotional Resilience: Each time you face ghosting with composure, you develop resilience. This mental toughness not only helps you handle future ghosting but also strengthens your confidence in other professional interactions.
2. Clarify Your Value: Ghosting can push you to reevaluate your offering. Was the pitch aligned with their needs? Did you communicate your value effectively? This introspection can refine your approach moving forward.
3. Diversify Opportunities: Ghosting highlights the importance of not putting all your eggs in one basket. Use the experience as a catalyst to expand your network, pitch to more leads, or explore new industries.

The Art of Letting Go

It’s human nature to dwell on unanswered emails or texts, but obsessing over ghosting can sap your energy and confidence. Instead, practice the art of letting go.

• Adopt a Growth Mindset: As psychologist Carol Dweck’s research shows, people with a growth mindset view setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow. Instead of stewing over the ghosting, ask, “What can I take away from this?”
• Practice Gratitude: Focus on the relationships and opportunities that do flourish. Gratitude rewires the brain for positivity, which bolsters confidence.

For me, the hardest part of being ghosted was letting go of the lingering “why.” Over time, I realized that closure doesn’t come from others; it comes from within.

Parting Words

Ghosting may sting in the moment, but it’s far from a dead end. It’s a chance to step back, reflect, and grow. When you shift the narrative from one of rejection to one of self-empowerment, you regain control of your confidence and direction.

Remember:

• Ghosting says more about the other person than it does about you.
• Focus on what you can control—your professionalism, mindset, and actions.
• Use ghosting as a springboard for personal and professional growth.

Most importantly, don’t let someone’s silence dim your self-belief. You are not defined by who ghosts you but by how you show up, again and again, with confidence, resilience, and purpose.

After all, the opportunities meant for you will find their way—ghosts and all.

Until next time, Stay Confident!

Thought Of The Week

A weekly thought to meditate, ruminate, and/or ponder on:

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." - Maya Angelou

If you are interested in improving your speaking, communication skills and confidence, schedule a call with me or learn more about communication coaching here.