Be a “Get To” Person

As Thanksgiving approaches, we think about gratitude. I find that our level of gratefulness shows up in the words we choose. 

I get to be with people on a regular basis, as organizations ask me to speak at events. I always individualize the content to the organization. One size never fits all. Yet there is one common theme I do find applies to every group. I always ask, “When you are getting ready to take any action, do you think or say, ‘I’ve got to,’ or, ‘I have to,’ more often than you say, ‘I get to’?” For me, moving to a “get to” mindset has been life-changing.

In my experience, most organizations unintentionally create “got to” and “have to” cultures. I’ve got to complete the budget in time. I have to attend these meetings. These words are so commonplace, they have become the norm. Yes, there are times when “got to” or “have to” work. Yet replacing these words with “get to” creates a positive impact.

When I’m speaking, I ask each group how many of those present have been sentenced by the legal system to work in their organization. No hands go up. I then say, “So you have made the choice to work here.” It is important to realize what we are doing and where we work is our choice. We don’t have to work there. We get to work there.

This concept was introduced to me by my first cousin Al Sengstock. He asked me what I was doing in the upcoming week. I explained I had to travel to three cities, speak to three groups, be on nine flights, and stay in three different hotels. When I finished, I waited for Al to feel sorry for me given my stressful schedule and compliment me on my work ethic. Neither happened. He looked at me and said, “Why don’t you say you get to do these things instead of saying you have to?”  It is great to have people who love you so much they let you know when you have spinach in your teeth. Since that moment, I’ve worked hard on thinking and saying, “I get to.” 

A CEO was introducing me and shared with the group that he had to attend an event that evening. After my presentation, he wanted to correct his earlier statement. He told the group, “I get to spend the evening at a fundraising event.” The attendees smiled, as did he. 

I find using the words get to has a positive impact on others. When people hear the words get to, they are much more likely to see that action as positive. 

Listen to yourself and assess how you speak to yourself and others. Are you more of a got to or have to thinker, or a get to thinker?

We are the lucky ones. We get to be alive. I am grateful I get to speak and write. I love you. Happy Thanksgiving.

➡️ Questions? Contact me at Quint@QuintStuder.com

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