Get rid of your emotional pain...
Let's admit, nobody likes PAIN - be it physical or emotional. But here, we'll talk only about the emotional pain - pain that's caused typically because of terrible events going on, relationship crisis, death of a loved one, a serious financial or economic loss, or as simple as a broken friendship.
Identify the sources of your pain!
This is an important step - you can't really solve a problem if you don't know what your problem is. Eventually, there are sources your problems come from and so is the case with emotional pain. You may feel anxious and overwhelmed in the presence or absence of someone. You are getting those panic attacks but you may not know the actual cause.
Some people cry - like I do, when I listen to a particular song, or watch an old movie or stalk someone's profile. That's because the old stuff, the negative things are lodged in our memories and we can't digest the fact that it's all past - it has happened already and you can't simply undo it. The realization that life has no CTRL+Z buttons takes a lot of courage. But eventually, nobody does that to you. You will, yourself, have to tell your mind, heart and body to let things go. And again, all of this comes running back to the sources of your pain.
How?
Yes, it's not easy to forget the stuff, to come out of the war between forgetting, forgiving or waiting. Unfortunately, it doesn't work like this. If you are constantly and deliberately facing the 'pain' and stuff that triggers your negative emotions, then nobody will be able to help you. But then, how to identify the causes of our pain?
- When you have panic attacks, just stop for a moment. Ask yourself, (and maybe wipe off your tears if you are crying), "What triggered these emotions?" Did I check on my ex?
- Look around - do you still have photos of a loved one (who isn't there with you anymore for whatsoever reason)? Are you missing them?
- Did a song just make you cry? Sometimes it's the lyrics that's associated with a past event or some person we can't forget. Maybe it was the time you people listened to the song together!
- Did you just have a mood swing because you met an old colleague - from a workplace where you were fired from or maybe insulted?
- Is it a professional failure that triggers your tears? Common thought!
- Are you crying because you think you did something wrong? Do you keep blaming yourself for reacting or NOT reacting on a particular situation? Feelings of self-guilt are common. You may feel you have done all the wrong, while, it was the situation that was toxic and should be blamed and not YOU!
- Quite often, our physical and medical conditions also cause mental health issues. For example, lack of sleep may show up as mood swings. People with heart diseases like angina are more prone to anxiety and panic attacks.
- Hormonal imbalance - for example thyroid fluctuation may cause insomnia. Check on your body parts - get a medical check up if you're unsure about some physical illness that may be triggering your emotional switches.
Destroy the sources of your pain!
Yes, once you've gotten to the roots of your emotional pain, make solid measures to get rid of it. Here are some steps that help majority of people who are on their way to find mental peace.
- Talk to yourself!
While many of us DO talk to ourselves daily, most of us are missing the healthy bite of this talk. That's simply because we are involved in negative self-talk. Blaming yourself all the time won't reap any fruits. It's like drinking poison yourself, while expecting your enemy to die - which is illogical. Speak POSITIVE. Remind yourself of all the bounties and blessings you are bestowed with. Thank God for everything and everyone you have in life. This expression of gratitude and self-love will work collaboratively and soothe your soul.
2. Start journaling!
Pinterest is bombarded with positive daily affirmations. Pick up any one post and respond to a new picture, dialogue or a question prompt everyday. Describe your daily routine, maintain a to-do list to focus and concentrate. Remind yourself that it's okay to be NOT-SO-PRODUCTIVE some days. Again, make a gratitude list in your journal and list down everything that makes you happy and lights up your mood.
Not interested in writing? No problem! Start doodling, hand lettering, calligraphy or rough painting to release stress.
3. Destroy stuff that causes pain!
Here comes the most important step. All you have to do is delete those old songs from your playlist and create a new one with songs that make you happy, get you on a party mood and soothe your senses. Throw away old cards, boxes, gift items, labeled key chains or anything else that you may look at and cry. Remember, this step can only be performed if you have been able to trace the cause of your pain successfully.
4. Delete, block, unfollow!
If it is a living human being who makes you feel sad or depressed, unfollow them on social media. Maybe, just delete or block them if you can't control your urge to check on them again and again. There is a wonderful TED Talk about the same stuff (can't remember the name) which gives a wonderful recommendation to come out of your emotional pain. It suggests people to make a list of all wrong things somebody did to you and put that list somewhere you can see everyday. Most people prefer keeping the list on their phones, on the bathroom door or in the closet. As soon as you start missing them, just read the list and feel happy that they don't have access to you anymore.
5. Learn a new skill.
If it's a job, or some professional stuff that causes panic attacks, and feelings of despair, then the easiest thing you can do is to learn a new skill. Failed at writing? Try learning graphics. Failed at nursing, teaching, cooking or something else, just start learning a new skill, enroll in a new course and get rid of feelings that cause stress.
6. Get a medical checkup!
As I mentioned earlier, many a times, physical illnesses, hormonal imbalance or a medical condition may trigger mental health issues. Visit an ENT specialist if you think you keep coughing. Talk to a dentist to get a dental and oral checkup. Talk to a gynecologist, or endocrinologist, or a nutritionist because they may point out something that you had been missing for days, months or years maybe!
7. Exercise!
Physical and mental exercises are really important for a sound mind and body. Doctors suggest all adult individuals to get up an hour earlier than your daily routine and WALK! You can choose to brisk walk in your balcony, or jog every morning in the nearby park. Also, play brain teasers. Practice playing ludo and chess because they are great brain exercises.
8. Find a new hobby.
We've all written essays about our favorite hobbies once in our lifetime - maybe in grade 3 or grade 6 or grade 9 or even in high school. That's because hobbies are equally important. If academics strengthen your intellectual abilities, hobbies spark your creativity. Common hobbies that help with stress and panic attacks include reading, cooking, journaling, crafting, or reciting religious verses. reading Qur'aan so far has significantly helped me break apart the biggest mountains of despair that imprisoned me.
You'll get emotional stronger the moment you decide to face your weaknesses. These weaknesses can come in any shape, form or face and may hinder your personal and professional productivity. Don't let your weaknesses take over. Instead, identify the root cause of your emotional pain, and get done with it. You're stronger than you think you are! You deserve mental peace, satisfaction and a stress-free life.
Can you suggest some other ways to identify emotional pain or get rid of it? What do you people do to release stress?