By the Grace of Others

Defining grace

Gary Burnison, CEO of Korn Ferry, wrote in one of his weekly email missives that "Grace is a feeling. It moves us forward—elevating above any circumstance—and always along the high road. It is what makes us inherently human—the better self that shines a light for others.”

Grace gives us the strength to persevere. “When crisis strikes, our natural tendency is to think of cause and effect—to try to understand what happened rationally,” David Dotlich, Ph.D., CEO, and board advisor, told Burnison. “But there are other forces at work—and this is where grace comes in. It is the goodness in all of us that comes out in times of pain and suffering.”

Grace, a topic I have explored in writing and interviewing for the past few years, gives us space. When bad things happen, our natural tendency is to shrink back momentarily in fear or anger. Grace provides us with the ability to take a pause, to separate ourselves from the immediacy of the moment. If we have been wronged, we want to avenge ourselves. Grace implores us to show mercy. When others cross us, we want to get revenge. Grace asks that we offer forgiveness. 

When we are feeling hurt, we may want to isolate ourselves. Grace gives us the courage to ask for help.

Grace creates possibilities

Grace is that virtue that permits all other virtues because it is something that touches our hearts as well as our spirits. Grace opens us to empathy, that ability to feel another’s pain. In particular, many of us are called to act with compassion, that is, address the suffering as a means of alleviating it when possible.

Grace is granted unconditionally, but it does provoke reciprocity. Not through obligation—that is, I owe you—but rather through a sharing of goodness. Good was shown to me—we say—so I want to do good for someone else. 

And there is mystery in grace. Every faith has a measure of it, and as Burnison notes in his essay, the Greeks celebrated it in their mythology with the daughters of Zeus being called the three graces. More specifically, Grace may be biological; we are born with the desire and ability to care for others.

Mystery, too, exists in Grace because it happens to us, almost out of thin air. It is spiritual. As the story of the couple who were injured but did not press charges demonstrates, Grace is given without an expectation of return, only an expectation that it will enable some good to occur.

Adapted from Forbes.com 8/06/2021

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Read the book that is an affirmation of leadership in the face of calamity, Grace Notes: Leading in an Upside-Down World.

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Catch my interview with Mark Goulston, M.D.