Graphology and Parenting

I was introduced to Mayank by his class teacher. She told me that he is a bright kid, an attentive and observant student. He asked questions but not often. The eight-year-old had a few friends but loves to stay alone. He is not comfortable sharing his food with others. He once confided in his teacher that he does not like it when people invite him to their birthday parties though he likes to receive gifts. He also told her that cycling is his best playtime, and he wants a new cycle on his birthday, that is due next month. 

The brief introduction it was clear that his school principal, teachers, and even his best friends had no inkling what was going on in Mayank's mind. Why would an eight-year-old boy want to kill his parents by adding rat poison to their food daily? 

When Mayank was asked this question, he tersely told that they were not good enough to be his parents, and he did not like them. They made him feel miserable, and so it serves them right to die. 

"What will you do after they are dead?" I asked him. His eyes were clueless. He did not know the answer or had never thought about it. After all, he just eight. 

I was called as handwriting analyst to unravel the hidden secrets of his mind. But I was more keen to know his parents, teachers and best friend and their handwritings. There was nothing much to counsel  Mayank but his emotionally devastated parents needed to understand.

As a parent, what is your responsibility?
Some people call it a jungle experience, some call it a circus and they hate me when I prove it to them that parenting these days is more of fashion. There were times when parents knew in and out about their kids a lot more than anybody else but in today’s times, 'it is different.' 
So, what is different? The answer is our approach, style, logic… so on and so forth. Everything is different from what it was a couple of decades ago. 

Have you noticed that criminals often have a troubled childhood? What makes an individual? It is how parents define a child's identity. The next in the queue are close relatives and others around the child. The third is society and last but not the least, it is the Internet and our good old TV.

What is handwriting?
Handwriting is a complex process and takes a lot of time to master. It involves linguistic, cognitive, perceptual and motor components to function in an integrated and coordinated fashion.  Handwriting is a product of the emotional brain, has a physiological and psychological link in the brain. Since it involves the hand, the neurological activity generated by multi-sensory movement influences individual psychology, i.e., impulse control.

Writing also requires developing meta-cognitive processes that include self-regulation and learning strategies among these rehearsals, elaboration, organization, and self-monitoring that requires students to write and has the potential to support students’ deeper learning in a wide range of areas.
Handwriting is a highly valued skill that is often neglected these days. It is a means of expressing language – 'language by hand', just like speech, it also leaves lasting impact.

Helping students to write well is one of the education's most significant achievement. Beyond its role in work success, writing is a key factor in the development of problem-solving and critical-thinking skills. Writing enlists a multitude of cognitive and motivational processes: goal setting, content transformation, recall of topical, audience, and writing genre knowledge, self-regulation, and making multiple judgments of goal attainment. 

In recent years, modern technology has changed the way we communicate through writing. However, despite the increased use of computers for writing, the skill of handwriting remains relevant in education, employment and in everyday life. Thus, writing with pen and paper plays an important role and is undoubtedly an important skill for communication.

What is handwriting analysis?
Nowadays, when asked to write in public, most of us tend to shy away and avoid it, saying, "Oh no! My handwriting is awful. Oh, I have always struggled with my writing, and now I see my child going through the same." Often the response that I receive after writing analysis is, "Oh! Does my handwriting say so much about me? I felt almost naked in front of you." Or that I am amazing for doing an accurate reading. 
The truth is that I AM NOT amazing, but you are amazing. Everyone who can write is amazing!
Let us first understand what personality means before we start looking at its analysis. Personality is defined as a “unique set of traits and characteristics, relatively stable over time." Clearly, it is unique as each of us has ours, different from that of any other person’s. The definition further suggests that personality does not change from day–to-day. Over the short term, our personalities are relatively set or stable. However, the definition does not suggest that it is somehow rigid, unchangeable and cast in concrete. 

Handwriting is a brain-directed movement in space. There is nothing magical about it; it is based on serious study and observation of Human Behavior. In fact, Handwriting is a remarkable reflection of our personal styles and our patterns of behavior. That is why it has the potential to reveal so much about our personalities. 
The ability to understand the real meaning of handwriting is a valuable asset. It can tell you a great deal about all kinds of people from all walks of life, in particular, it will help you understand your children better. It is the same circus which is making you read this article. And it will tell you a lot about yourself too!

Let me elaborate a little more as to how handwriting can help you understand your child.

Let me bring back Mayank. It was a very disturbing and devastating moment for his parents to know that their only child, who is only eight, hates them so much. He was their world. Everything in their lives was bringing the best for Mayank. They had no clue why he hated then so much to not want them as his parents! 
It was difficult for them to understand when I told them that "perhaps they had overdone their role as parents, and that could be the reason for Mayank to feel so negative. 

And now try to answer the question that I had asked at the beginning:  what is your role as a parent?

Parenting is to nurture, but it is often mistaken as giving your child the best and, which in real terms, means living your aspirations through your child. One often tends to push children to be what he/she wanted to be rather than what he/she is. 

In Mayank’s case too, this had happened. Parents had limited income but for their child, they had unlimited desires and wanted to give him the best in life. They got him admitted to an upmarket school. It was difficult for them to say the least, and Mayank would often have to hear that they have to put in so much to make it easy for him. At home, it was the topic of conversations often but in school, he would see that other parents are so comfortable doing things for their children, he perceived that his parents are incapable, and hence they deserved to die. 

When I sat with his handwriting first, I did not see any disturbing tendencies of being brutal or any abnormalities or what we call as danger signs. Nothing. On the contrary, I found Mayank an expressive, mature, inquisitive, creative, rhythmic child. His inner desires were more towards a life of harmony than a life of chaos. He wanted to be loved. 

What I DID see in the parents' handwriting was deception, unreal realities, and control, temper that had created more issues in the child’s life. 

As a parent, one need to understand, that all your actions will not be understood the same way as you want. Every child has a way of looking at things and processing the received information. They are individual and unique. So just let them be.

Handwriting helps connect with your inner self and if you are willing to be more real, it is the best way to understand what’s going on in your mind. It is the fastest way to know anyone, including your children.