Gretchen Rubin is carving the path to happiness
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Gretchen Rubin is carving the path to happiness

In the Arena is LinkedIn News’ weekly human potential podcast hosted by (me) Leah Smart. You’ll hear from some of the world's brightest minds and bravest hearts about how to show up daily to live a better & more meaningful life. Each week, this newsletter shares learnings and practices connected to the conversations. Subscribe to the show's newsletter here. This week we're sharing one of our favorite conversations from the year with multiple best-selling author, Gretchen Rubin .

This week, I talked to the bestselling author of The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin. I wanted to understand more about what happiness is and what the myths about it are. 

But first, I'm going to get a bit nerdy about what happiness actually means according to research. Hint: it’s more complex than we make it out to be. For simplicity in this episode, Gretchen and I referred to happiness in the way you and I have probably thought about it most of our lives. 

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What is happiness anyway? 

I’m going to reference some of Brené Brown and Marc Brackett’s recent research on emotions here because it resonates so deeply for me. And I think it’s the most accessible. 

Marc Brackett’s "How We Feel" App defines happiness as “very pleased and filled with joy."

But the challenge is that the word "happy" is used commercially to encompass many different, highly pleasant emotions. When you say, “I’m happy” you could actually mean you’re inspired, playful, energized, or joyful…the list goes on. So first, knowing there are so many pleasant emotions beyond "happy" matters because it expands how you'll perceive your current state.

Second, the fact that there are so many highly pleasant emotions signals that we can feel pleasant and not necessarily be "happy." For example, feeling "challenged" is a highly pleasant and high-energy emotional experience. But I can think of countless times I've felt "challenged" without feeling "happy."

If you're following along, you're recognizing that without a strong emotional lexicon, we can easily miss the mark on how we're doing or even set our expectations incorrectly. Observing yourself and those around you will reveal that we're often searching for what we really feel and questioning if that's what we're supposed to feel.

So “finding happiness” becomes elusive and hard to pin down. We don’t quite know what we’re looking for. But we’re chasing it. In her research, Brené Brown found that happiness is “often related to the immediate environment or current circumstance.” And in my experience, the "chase" for happiness means we're looking for something outside of us to pull a lever that will induce it.

We’re trying to create repeated experiences that will give us that “full of pleasure” feeling. But there are many other ways to experience a good and meaningful life outside of just being "happy."

Based on this research we have today, there’s a big problem here: happiness is both temporary and externally driven.

Enter, Gretchen Rubin. She suggests that happiness (aka joy/awe/aliveness/optimism) is built through consistency. And it’s an inside job.

What we Talked About 

Post-it Worthy Quotes

“I don't think about happiness. I think about being happier.”


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“When we're happier, we have the emotional wherewithal to turn outward and to think about…the problems of other people. And when we're less happy, we tend to become isolated and defensive and preoccupied with our own problems because we're not very happy. And so, if you do say 'it's selfish to want to be happier', well, we should be selfish if only for selfless reasons. Because this is really how we arm ourselves to go out into the world.”


In Case You Missed It...

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Check out this week's In the Arena: Live on how careerists can prioritize their well-being among the competing demands of caretaking, work, and home life.



Until next time...what is one way you prioritize your overall well-being?

See you next week!

I believe most people aspire to be happier, but either lack a framework to help them achieve it or feel it is selfish to focus on it.

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Carol Norine Margaret M.

Board Member of Global Goodwill Ambassadors for Human Rights and Peace Professional Designer with Top Voice at LinkedIn. Excellent at accessorizing a room, does her own seasonal Decorating , did custom work see Profile.

1y

Thx Norman 6 x🙏🏻❤️🇨🇦😃☮️

Carol Norine Margaret M.

Board Member of Global Goodwill Ambassadors for Human Rights and Peace Professional Designer with Top Voice at LinkedIn. Excellent at accessorizing a room, does her own seasonal Decorating , did custom work see Profile.

1y

Thx Norman🙏🏻❤️😃🇨🇦☮️

Carol Norine Margaret M.

Board Member of Global Goodwill Ambassadors for Human Rights and Peace Professional Designer with Top Voice at LinkedIn. Excellent at accessorizing a room, does her own seasonal Decorating , did custom work see Profile.

1y

Thx Norman🙏🏻❤️☮️😃🇨🇦

Carol Norine Margaret M.

Board Member of Global Goodwill Ambassadors for Human Rights and Peace Professional Designer with Top Voice at LinkedIn. Excellent at accessorizing a room, does her own seasonal Decorating , did custom work see Profile.

1y

Thx Norman and two others🙏🏻❤️😃🇨🇦☮️

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