Guns or Roses?

Lately our country, the United States of America has been reeling with frequent tragedies of mass shootings across the nation.

Now that I have your attention, I want to make it very clear as to what this articles is NOT about.  I don’t intend to vocalize my political or moral stance as to what the causes of these random acts of violence are, or what the solutions must be. As heartbroken as I am, I find myself quite agnostic and the least bit emotionally charged when it comes to this issue.

In the wake of the string of violent incidents, you might have observed that the average citizen, the reporter on TV, the politicians, and everyone else tries to make sense of this horror, offering solutions or espousing a moral stance and providing justifications for doing so.

Now, YOU personally might fall somewhere on the political and moral spectrum when it comes to issues like gun control, personal liberty or regulations and laws, which might be vastly different to mine, the person next to you, others in your family or the folks that you work with.

However, there are a few things that almost all of us unanimously agree upon, regardless of our political and social leanings;

1.   There has been a significant rise in civilian deaths caused by mass shootings by random armed men (yes, practically all perpetrators happen to be men) over the last 20 years, compared to the decades prior

2.   We all deeply care about the society at large and are shaken to the core each time a violent act results in the murder of an innocent fellow citizen

3.   We may disagree on what the panacea to this epidemic is, but we all want to put an end to this utterly abhorrent acts of cowardice. The paths we advocate might be different.

4.   Almost always, we wish we could change things ourselves but we feel helpless and often wish that a clear solution was evident

If you observe closely, something becomes quite apparent. Everyone who has a strong opinion on this topic has an unwavering belief in their stance. And not only that, they vehemently strike down any opposing opinions as lacking in commonsense and in many cases questioning the motives of the opposing individual and branding the very person as vile and loathsome.

Instances of these are routinely evident in the assault that you witness in the Youtube comments section and Twitter, among the talking heads on television and radio, politicians on the podium and even in random conversations among friends on family!

If you are a bystander to these verbal and physical duels, you often wonder…why can’t they agree upon a viable solution, which at the very least could reduce the frequency of these horrific incidents? After all, as mentioned previously, every single one of us want a less violent society, don’t we?

You might say, if I were in charge, I would certainly try to find a common ground and arrive at solutions, which would be palatable to everyone. Perhaps spending more on civic and moral education, passing legislation related to less guns....or more guns...or considering more armed security everywhere, allocating more resources for mental health, advocating more community around teenagers and adolescents and so on. Whatever your means of tackling the issue at hand is, you feel that you are different from all the people who are squabbling and stubbornly and resolutely holding on to their own viewpoints, resulting in never ending arguments and never conceding to another’s opinion or world view. What’s wrong with these people? I am different! I would never behave like this you say!

BUT, you are NOT different!

And that brings me to the point of this article.

As reluctant as you might be to concede, reflections of this character trait elucidated above, is routinely displayed in your team meetings, one-on-one conversations, quarterly reviews, appraisals, while reviewing recommendations from your subordinates, while reviewing suggestions for improvement from colleagues, when someone points out flaws in a strategy that you have laid out..and so on.

This stubborn behavior in a work setting doesn’t elicit the same kind of charged outrage, because it is not a matter of life and death as gun related incidents are.

As a leader, you may espouse a certain direction for an initiative, a set of tactics as part of your overall strategy or have a decidedly different opinion about your team member’s performance than other stakeholders. If you do not intentionally open yourself up to listen, accept and change based on others’ views, the outcomes may not result in instant death…but will slowly sap the life away from yourself, your team and subsequently your organization.

Remember! Those folks that you see on TV, the talking heads on radio, the commoners who squabble on Twitter, the bullies who litter the Youtube comments section…as hard as it is to concede, they are all representation of the society at large…a mirror image of you…and me!

As a leader in your organization, conceding that this stubborn trait is embedded in your personality is the first step towards evolving into a better steward of the people around you.

No matter how great your conviction is about an idea…regardless of how strongly you feel about an individual one way or the other….no matter how much data you have to support a particular strategy…regardless of how strongly believe that the decision made by someone is completely wrong…no matter how persuaded you are about a project, tool or initiative…there MAY be a colleague, a team member or another leader within your organization who has an opinion about it that might be antithetical to yours!

We as humans have the proclivity to myopically disregard others’ vantage points. We just see a larger reflection of that on mass media. It is not that those people with a wider platform have changed or morphed into another person. They just have been afforded an opportunity to reveal a trait that is already dormant in each of us.

If we are not intentional in considering the opinions, world views, vantage points, observations, criticism, disagreements and oppositions from the others around us, your leadership will die a slow death, particularly while managing an increasingly diverse workforce!

So, question….Guns or Roses?

Whichever you pick, let’s all be intentional, to hear, empathize and understand the person who picks the other.

And that my friends, is the first step towards healing….as a person…as a team…as an organization…and as a society!

Have a great life!