Happiness is a proactive choice-Stephen Covey

"Our own pain and misery may make us more empathetic and understanding towards others. Remember, sweet fragrance always clings to the hands that distribute flowers". (Chinese proverb) "Happiness is a choice." Is that true?” Someone is going through pain of rejection. Someone just lost his loved one. Someone just came to know about the infidelity of his spouse. Someone is unable to feed his children due to lack of resources. Someone is struggling hard to get a job despite all his efforts. You can’t just tell them to “chose to be happy” and expect a “placebo magic” that would make them happy. However, you can empower them with motivational words to have courage, hope and patience to pave their way through this misery.

Well, in my humble opinion, happiness is really not a choice. It is something that emanates from within and lights up the soul. However, optimism, compassion and a cheerful demeanour is a choice. By being optimistic, cheerful and compassionate towards others, despite his own misery, one can seek solace, courage and forget his problems/sadness for sometime. That way, he may keep himself going and keep making peace with the circumstances.

I have seen people who wear a cheerful visage despite being broken inside and one can never tell what they’re going through, from their demeanour. And I have utmost respect for them but that doesn’t make them “happy” in literal sense, it rather makes them courageous.(that doesn’t mean I don’t respect anyone who rather decides to rant and vent out his pain- we all have different threshold and different ways to express)

Consider this- One has to close his eyes and pretend to sleep, before he/she actually falls asleep. However, that doesn’t mean one can sleep at will. But he/she can make efforts to let go of all the vicious thoughts in his/her mind and summon and embrace the soothing lull that may help him calm and fall asleep. In same way, inducement of happiness, is not same as the “Happiness” itself, in the literal sense, but an effort to divert attention from pain and anxiety by focusing at soothing things and seeking joy from enjoyable things/activities inducing positivity by keeping cheerful demeanour, and spreading warmth and joy drawing solace by contemplating things which makes us happy, (movies, books, songs anything) helping others and drawing pleasure seeing their relief and happiness

Also sometimes by telling ourselves that “ignorance-is-bliss” and seeking hedonist pleasures. So, in all these methods, we are actually seeking “comfort” (again befitting trying-to-sleep analogy) and once, the peace this comfort bring along, meets with the pertinent opportunity and reason, happiness takes birth and emanates from within. (Again- happiness may take birth even without all this inducement of peace and comfort, if something pleasurable happens against all adverse circumstances; but in that case, there are fair chances that we may overlook it and find ourselves unable to appreciate it.)

Because being happy is a very personal thing and it has nothing to do with others. Believe me there are soo many beautiful reasons to be happy. But stop focusing on your problems and start counting your blessings you would be happiest. And just do the things that makes you feel alive. travel,read some good books,watch ted talks ,listen to some good music,give some time to yourself and spend some time with your parents and the people who makes you feel good about yourself...Do spend some time with nature it refreshes your soul....just spread happiness ,smile and make everyone around you smile because that makes everyone looks beautiful. Cheers!