Healthy Pride
“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning — the sixth day.” (Holy Bible, Genesis 1:31)
The word “pride” comes after the adjective form of “proud,” which originated before the 12th century from the old French word “prud” or “prouz,” meaning valiant or brave. At that time, it was used positively by the Norman knights to describe themselves. Yet later, the word was used by the Anglo-Saxons to describe their invading army in a negative tone, meaning conceited and self-aggrandized (Tracy et al., 2010).
'Pride' often arises when one appraises a positive, socially valued outcome (e.g., success) to the individual's own contribution, such as efforts, personalities, and abilities (Leary, 2007; Tracy et al., 2010; Williams & DeSteno, 2008). People also could feel pride for owning valuable objects (Leary, 2007), good outcomes from other people they are identified with (e.g., their family members and friends), and even on a more collective level, such as pride for their country (Tracy et al., 2010). Nevertheless, most research investigated pride on an individual level as a self-consciousness emotion.
As an emotion, pride has unique nonverbal expressions. Many studies have reliably found that pride has universally recognizable bodily and facial expressions, which are distinct from those in other similar emotions, such as happiness and excitement (Tracy et al., 2010; Tracy & Robins, 2004b, 2007a). The typical nonverbal expressions of pride include: a small smile, slightly tilted head, raised arms, and visible expanded posture of upper body. The recognition of the nonverbal expressions of pride is as fast and accurate as that of basic emotions (Tracy & Robins, 2008). Moreover, even congenitally blind individuals across cultures showed these typical nonverbal pride expressions during success as well (Tracy & Matsumoto, 2008). These studies suggest that pride may be an innate and evolutionary adaptive emotion.
As a self-consciousness emotion, the experience of pride involves a self-evaluation process. This process requires two cognitive prerequisites (Lewis et al., 1992). One is objective self-awareness, which directs attention introspectively and treats oneself as an evaluable object; the other is internalized standard of behaviour, a reference point to be compared with one’s current achievement. Thus, the evaluation process is self-referential and associated with one’s own values.
Pro-social behaviour
Unlike simple positive emotions, such as joy or happiness, gratitude has a unique conceptualization as a moral affect. It plays three major roles in social interactions (McCullough et al., 2001). First, it serves as a moral barometer — a positive emotional response to indicate that we have recognized the benefits from others’ good behaviour. Second, it motivates us to act pro-socially toward the benefactors and people around us. Third, the expression of gratitude reinforces the benefactors to behave pro-socially in the future. Therefore, gratitude not only contributes to the well-being of both the beneficiaries and benefactors, but also creates a virtuous circle of prosocial behaviours in society.
Healthy pride is expressed in an assertive fashion, and it's most often conveyed implicitly. It's a quiet, self-assured affirmation of one's capabilities. Pursuing something to the best of your ability and having confidence in something well done = good pride.
Pride results from self-directed satisfaction with meeting personal goals; for example positive performance outcomes elicit pride in a person when the event is appraised as having been caused by that person alone.
So, how exactly does pride and self-esteem intersect? They exist in a delicate balance, with self-awareness being the key. Healthy self-esteem lays the foundation for balanced pride. When we possess a positive self-image and confidence in our abilities, our pride can be a force for good. It fuels our motivation, empowers us to confront challenges, and fosters gratitude for our achievements.
Understanding the intersection between pride and self-esteem is pivotal for personal growth and harmonious relationships. It reminds us that pride, when tempered by healthy self-esteem, can be a driving force for success and personal development.
And there are four types of healthy pride: Pride of Spirituality (Asceticism), Pride of Knowledge (Attainments), Pride of Power (Self Righteous), and Pride of Appearance (Self-respect).
Healthy pride is about effort, persistence and cultivation of behaviours that make you a better person. It's feeling good for a sense of achievement. Healthy pride supports people and their growth. It is a reward for expending effort and a job well done.
Part of the spiritual path is looking at the areas in life where you have pride which is an indicator that there’s some high self-esteem. We seem to need our suffering in this journey of evolving to a higher consciousness perspective.
We should hold onto desirable emotions and ideas, until a shift in perception shatters the limited thinking, which is then held in pride instead. Self-inquiry is a large part of the spiritual process. And lacking in pride is often about having no proper self-respect.
"Create in me a new heart, O Lord; and renew within me a right spirit." (Holy Bible, Psalm 51:10).
As stated by Neville Goddard: “This is a world of educated darkness where you and I — infinite beings as we are — entered for a purpose, and only a very small part of the immortal Self entered. That's what we see here. You are an infinite Being, for you are God. Everyone is God but here on earth, we are just a spark of the immensity of our own fiery Being.”
Also in 1951 Radio Talk 9, Station KECA Los Angeles, Neville Goddard gave this lecture, where he states the following:
“In the creation of a new way of life, we must begin at the beginning, with our own individual regeneration. The formation of organizations, political bodies, religious bodies, social bodies is not enough. The trouble we see goes deeper than we perceive. The essential revolution must happen within ourselves.
“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” (Holy Bible, Romans 12:3)
Everything depends on our attitude towards ourselves. That which we will not affirm within ourselves can never develop in our world. This is the religion by which we live, for religion begins in subjective experience, like charity, it begins at home.
“Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind” is the ancient formula and there is no other.
Everything depends upon a person’s attitude toward themselves. That which they cannot or will not claim as true of themselves can never evolve in his world. An individual is constantly looking about their world and asking, “What’s to be done? What will happen?” When they should ask themselves: “Who am I? What is my concept of myself?”
If we wish to see the world a finer, greater place, we must affirm the reality of a finer, greater being within ourselves.
The only test of religion worth making is whether it is true-born. That is, whether it springs from the deepest conviction of the individual, whether it is the fruit of inner experience. No religion is worthy of an individual, unless it gives them a deep and abiding sense that all is well, quite irrespective of what happens to them personally.
The methods of mental and of spiritual knowledge are entirely different, for we know a thing mentally by looking at it from the outside, by comparing it with other things by analysing and defining it.
In our solitude we are driven to subjective experience. It is, then, that we should imagine ourselves to be the ideal person we desire to see embodied in the world. If, in our solitude, we experience in our imagination what we would experience in reality had we achieved our goal, we will in time, become transformed into the image of our ideal.
“Be renewed in the spirit of your mind, put on the new person.”
The process of making a “Fact of being, a fact of consciousness” is by the “renewing of our mind.”
We are told to change our thinking. But we can’t change our thought unless we change our ideas. Our thoughts are the natural outpouring of our ideas, and our innermost ideas are the person themselves. The end of longing is always to be, not to do.
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“Be still and know”
“I AM that which I desire.”
Strive always after being. External reforms are useless if your heart is not reformed.
Discouraged people are sorely in need of the inspiration of great principles. We must get back to first principles if we are to speak with a voice that will kindle the imagination and rouse the spirit. Again, I must repeat, in the creation of a new way of life, we must begin at the very beginning with our own individual regeneration.
This is a challenge to us all. What concept are we holding of ourselves in the higher regions of our soul? Everything depends upon a person’s attitude towards themselves. That which they will not affirm as true within themselves can never develop in his world. A change of concept of self is the right adjustment, the new relationship between the surface and the depth of a person.
Deepening is, in principle, always possible, for the ultimate depth lives in everyone, and it is only a question of becoming conscious of it.
Every great out-picturing is preceded by a period of profound absorption. When that absorption is filled with our highest ideal, when we become that ideal, then we see it manifest in our world and we realize that the present does not recede into the past, but advances into the future.
This is essentially how we change our future. A “now” which is “elsewhere” has for us no absolute meaning. We only recognize “now” when it is at the same time “here.” When we feel ourselves into the desired state “here” and “now” we have truly changed our future.” Affirm the Reality of Our Own Greatness
Having healthy pride is in fact that you’ve put the hard work into your persons and craft. For some, it's about embracing their whole self. As stated by Alan Watts: “pride of imagining that an individual has their own will, their own energy, is sufficient to change themselves. After all, if they need changing at all, it is precisely the character.”
“Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.” (Holy Bible, Galatians 6:4)
Balanced pride, as a good quality, can drive personal growth, motivation, and help us in life. On the other hand, self-esteem, which is how we personally view our worth, has a big impact on how we feel, our relationships, and our behaviour. Finding the right balance is crucial, where having a healthy self-esteem is the foundation for pride. Feeling good about ourselves and being confident can make us stronger.
Motivational role of pride
Pride is a self-consciousness emotion that is psychologically and evolutionally important (Tracy et al., 2010). Unlike basic emotions, self-consciousness emotions are closely linked to self-representation, and they can help to attain complex social goals (Tracy & Robins, 2004a). Among the self-consciousness emotions (i.e., shame, pride, guilt, envy, and embarrassment), pride is the only positive emotion that makes us feel good about ourselves. The positive feeling of our global “self” reinforces us to repeat the behaviours that lead to feeling proud and motivates us to pursue higher achievements. In the long-term, pride increases self-worth. In social interactions, the nonverbal expression of pride signifies success to other people in society and promotes social status (Tracy et al., 2010; Tracy & Robins, 2004b).
What to do for Healthy Pride:
Self-compassion is a key component to cultivating healthy pride. Being kind and compassionate to yourself allows you to accept your limitations and mistakes. As pride as a healthy human trait, linking it favourably to self-motivation, confidence, respect, and acceptance.
How do you describe yourself? What are the go-to beliefs you hold about yourself? How you answer these questions says a lot about your level of Self-esteem. Self-esteem is a significant measure of how much we “value, appreciate, or like ourselves” (Adler & Stewart, 2004) and how much it impacts our work, love and play (see grid below of how to develop self-esteem).
And 'Healthy Pride' represents a positive notion of self-worth, and it’s based on a history where personal effort and expenditure of energy led to success. And a major factor in the achievement of such individuals is that they’re not satisfied with mediocre performance, striving rather to do the best that’s in them. Which is why their sense of self-worth merits being seen as “earned.” In addition, someone with healthy pride might say: “I feel really good that I was up for tackling this, and it came out much better than I could have expected”.
As understood by experts, healthy pride relates to a person’s acting pro-socially (Kaufman, 2012). The former individual encourages and galvanizes others, particularly since they’re likely to say: “If I can do this, so can you!” For on a personal note, as my biggest hang-up is letting myself and others down, it comes as no surprise that to unfreeze myself, I use that "sense of pride" from past achievements to move myself forward again. So focusing on healthy pride is critical to my self-worth.
Gratitude and pride are both positive emotional responses to reward. Nevertheless, how one perceives the reward — the cognitive evaluation of the reward is different in gratitude and pride contexts: in gratitude it is the “benefit appraisal” and in pride it involves a self-evaluation process. Furthermore, expectation (high or low) also may play a role in appreciating or depreciating the same reward. To better visualize the common and specific constructs related with gratitude and pride, we have illustrated their relationships in Fig. 1 (see below):
For having an integrated framework of the psychological constructs for gratitude and pride emotions shows how the pathway is different, but still impacts our 'Sense of Being'. As the central part in the colour peach within the boxes, refers to the reward computation system. The discrepancy between one’s expectation and the actual gained reward creates a reward prediction error, which is modulated in the brain’s reward system.
Theory of mind influences the reward processing by forming the expectations of others’ benevolence, while the self-referential processing influences the reward processing by forming the expectations of one’s own achievements. As a result, gratitude and pride show different motivational effects: the former elicits more socially reinforcing behaviours, while the latter elicits more self-reinforcing behaviours.
Thus 'Authentic pride' which is healthy, is fuelled by the emotional rush of accomplishment, confidence, and success, is associated with pro-social and achievement-oriented behaviours, extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, satisfying interpersonal relationships, and positive mental health.
Therefore, authentic pride is a pro-social, evidence-based view of oneself. It brings achievement and genuine self-worth.
Special role of self-referential processing in pride
Pride is considered a self-conscious emotion (Leary & Tangney, 2011; Zinck, 2011). As we discussed in the definition of pride, pride involves a self-evaluation process that requires self-awareness and an internalized standard. The latter is generated through self-referential processing. Self-referential processing relates information from the external world to oneself, and it makes the self-relevant information a priority in cognitive processing (Zhao et al., 2018).
From the self-related information collected during development, one gradually forms the estimation on how good a person can perform on certain kinds of tasks. This results in the internalized standard that we use as a reference point to judge whether an achievement is adequate to make us feel proud.
"Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position."
(Holy Bible, James 1:9)
Reflection:
Take a moment to reflect on your experiences with pride and self-esteem. How have they shaped your journey? What strategies resonate with you, and how can you implement them in your life for personal growth and healthier relationships? Share your thoughts and insights in the comments below; let us engage in a meaningful conversation about this essential aspect of our lives.