How To Believe In Yourself As a Coach
Why is it important to believe in yourself when you haven't had success as a coach?
You don't get what you wish for. You don't get what you hope for. You don't even get what you want. Instead, you get what you believe. Your beliefs bear the fruits of your life. Whatever you believe, you will achieve.
Dr. Bruce Lipton said that the role of the mind is to create a coherence between your beliefs and your reality. That belief is a thought that you hold true. And the reason why these beliefs are important is because you only act on what you believe.
If you're not taking much action in your coaching business, you've got to ask yourself.
What are my limiting beliefs?
What am I believing in?
You're going to take a lot of action if you're absolutely certain something's going to work. And once you take a lot of action, your results are going to go up. Then your brain has confirmation bias because it looks to confirm what you believe. Your brain goes “See I told you it was gonna work. I told you it was a good idea.”
However, when you don't believe something's going to work, you're going to take little action which will lead to getting little results. Your brain then confirms the opposite and goes “See, I told you it wasn't gonna work. I told you it was a waste of time. And now you're in a downward spiral.”
It's very hard if you've got no past success, if you haven't had any coaching clients, and if you've never worked with anyone. It’s really difficult starting out and I get it. I've never been paid money before.
I see some people that go from coaching calls to coaching courses into coaching courses. They even pay all this money but they still don't have a paid client. That’s because of their beliefs.
Some people even got their start working pro bono with coaching clients. This is a bit controversial. I'm not an advocate of that, because what happens is you tend to attract less committed clients - clients that just are not as committed to get results. The more energy you put in the more you're going to get out, but the less energy you put in the less you're going to get out. So if they're not paying, they're gonna take less energy out of your coaching, which means less results. That’s why we want to be charging.
The reason why so many people get stuck when they're new is they look at their past for certainty, they're looking for past success to give them certainty. And when they don’t have it, their certainty is gone. It's empty.
You've got to know that the strongest force in the mind that controls your results is your identity. Your mind will only produce behaviors consistent with your identity.
If you say:
“I'm a broke coach.”
“I'm not a good coach.”
“I'm just a new coach.”
or whatever, you're not going to produce the right behaviors.
You need to have an identity like:
“I am a powerhouse coach.”
“I'm a millionaire coach.”
“I'm the world's best coach.”
“I'm the greatest of all time, just like what Muhammad Ali.”
If you have that identity, you're gonna produce behaviors consistent with that. But most people tear down their future with their history by a disempowering identity that has come from their past.
We all have a temperature in our life. Let's just say I'm running my life from 30 degrees of temperature. When I’m at 30 degrees of temperature, I'm acting at a certain level and I'm looking for certain things.
“I deserve only free clients.”
“I only deserve one or two clients.”
“I'm just starting out so I just don't deserve much right now.”
It’s ridiculous!
The temperature of your life is what you deserve, what you believe you're worth. You've got to up that.
When I started out I was broke and was just sleeping in my van. I had no resources and money. I just borrowed money from my parents and I put it on my board “I am a millionaire coach.” That was my identity.
You've got to have this empowering identity for yourself and reinforce it with lots of emotion and certainty over and over again. That's how you build an identity. I recommend you do that.
I had a guy that I was coaching. He said to me, “Luke, I think i’ve got depression. Whenever I'm on my own, when my business isn't working out I start beating myself up. I start focusing on what I don't want and what I don't have. I say all these negative things to myself. How do I get out of it? I’m really struggling. I’m not getting many coaching clients at all right now.”
I told him that he needs to enforce a new identity. He needs to tell himself who he is. He needs to believe and say he’s a powerful coach, he’s a successful coach, and he’s a millionaire coach. I told him to reinforce it with emotion. He started doing that and started getting way better results.
That's how you build a belief. By repetition. That means you need rituals for yourself and you need an identity. When you have rituals that support you to feel what you want, you take much more empowering actions. Remember, you only make decisions in the emotions that you live in.
So, if you live in negative emotions like fear, anger, loss, frustration, and loneliness, you don't get to take good actions from that place. You have to get in the right emotional state. Believe in yourself by enforcing an empowering identity and visualizing. Keep taking massive actions and you will build that belief.