How to Build a Legacy

HOW TO BUILD A LEGACY

35 years ago, Delbarton Wrestling was an afterthought.

No disrespect to those in the program at that time, but as a freshman in 1988, we weren’t exactly the signature program at the school. Hockey was king, and football was a close second. Sports like lacrosse were on the rise, and quietly, the Green Wave was highly successful in other sports such as soccer, swimming, cross-country, baseball, and a lot more.

As you can see, wrestling didn’t make that list.

We had a handful of successful individuals in the 1980s who were stars in the prep division, and when Delbarton joined the NJSIAA in the mid 80s, we had a few state qualifiers and even a few region champions. Essentially, they were a statistical anomaly, as our squads were filled with excellent young men, but collectively, we didn’t win a lot of team hardware. In my junior year in 1991, our team put together a 9-6 dual meet season, and when Jon Rose won by fall at Heavyweight, we shocked District IX by sending nine wrestlers to regions and beating out Hanover Park to win a District title. The next year, we returned to Earth and went 2-14.

Last Saturday, I was invited to a Delbarton Alumni Wrestling celebration at Homestead Bar in Morristown to honor Patrick Glory, Delbarton Class of 2018. I walked into the bar, looking for what I thought would be the dozen or so men of similar stature to me. After all, you can always pick out wrestlers in a crowd.

I did a full loop, and strangely, I didn’t see anyone. I thought about leaving, and then asked myself, “Could it be at the private room upstairs?”

I ascended the stairs and took a moment of pause as a I reached the top. To my amazement, the room was full of 200 plus people for this celebration.

While I always live in the context of what the program was, 35 years later, it’s in quite a different place now. The party, as I mentioned, was to honor Patrick Glory – 2023 NCAA Champ at 125 pounds, and the winner of Princeton’s first NCAA title in 72 years. And how’s this for a Delbarton duo? The NCAA Coach of the Year? Cornell University Head Coach Mike Grey, Delbarton Class of 2006, of course - with Cornell’s outstanding season and 3rd place finish in the NCAA Tournament.

For all the naysayers out there who don’t know the history, for someone who was there on the other side of this seemingly meteoric rise, let me assure you: the transformation to evolve into New Jersey’s premier wrestling program is truly a miracle.

Here’s how you build a legacy.

#1 GREAT LEADERSHIP

Back in the late 80s and early 90s, Headmaster Father Bruno had the vision to elevate athletics. As a result, he was willing to think outside the box and venture beyond the traditional teacher-coach model. We always had good coaches, but Father Bruno was willing to do more and take a risk. When I was a senior in the 1991-92 season, he brought on Guy Russo for a contract which was supposed to earmark him as a one day a week, part-time coach. Guy ended up not only coming three to four days a week for that one year – he became a pillar of the program who has molded the culture for the last 35 years.

Once again, in 2004, school leadership had the vision to uplevel again. From one perspective, Delbarton had a great year: two state champions and three state finalists. However, the school also had a losing record, and the majority of the team was eliminated at the districts. Athletic Director Brian Fleury brought in Bryan Stoll as head coach to lift the competitive balance of the program. With a standout pedigree as a state place winner at St. Joe’s of Montvale followed by his college career at Duke University, Stoll raised the standard. Losing records became a relic of the past, and the tide turned. The program went from being a collection of individual stars to a juggernaut of a team. Stoll and Russo’s chemistry forged an incredible partnership that catalyzed yearly progress on the way to the peak of New Jersey Wrestling. I believe that behind any milestone, achievement, or culmination, it is preceded by a clear vision and the right leadership – and Delbarton Wrestling is a quintessential example of that in action.

#2 ATTRACT GREAT TALENT – AND LEAD WITH CHARACTER

Back in 1999, a young Randolph wrestler named Antonio Mangione was expected to add to the ranks of one of Morris County’s perennial powerhouse lineups. Randolph was #2 in the state, and adding Mangione to a star-studded lineup would only add more gold to the Randolph coffers. However, he made a surprising decision – to some – to enroll at Delbarton.

It was awesome for me to catch up with Antonio on Saturday. In the early 2000s, I coached at Delbarton for two years as my first high school coaching experience; as a result, this team and its wrestlers always will hold a fond place in my heart. When I asked Antonio about his decision to come to Delbarton, his line was epic.

“I had to make a choice – do I want to become part of a tradition, or start a tradition?”

Antonio was the kind of wrestler who could truly do just that – start a tradition. On the mat, he is still arguably the most exciting high school wrestler I have ever seen compete. When the lights were on, in the biggest of spots, when many others melted under the glare of the spotlight, Antonio’s star shone the brightest. His three state finals and two championships (he was Delbarton’s first state champion) truly electrified crowds. Off the mat, he was a fun, energetic young man who loved to shake hands and meet people, and he was extremely generous in encouraging younger kids in the sport. He was instrumental in attracting many wrestlers, and one of his many impacts on the program was in attracting one particular wrestler – Mike Grey – to make a similar decision to come to Delbarton. Grey’s work ethic in the practice room raised the standard for competition, and his courteous off the mat personality made him a great ambassador, paving the path for others to follow.

And follow they did.

That became the formula: talent + character. To its credit, over the years, the school has dismissed wrestlers who were superstars on the mat but displayed unbecoming character off the mat. Spending time at this party just gave a flavor for the character of wrestlers that followed.

I got a chance to spend time catching up with Jorge Lopez, Class of 2012. Jorge was a two-time state place winner at Delbarton who also happens to be a fellow Williams College wrestling alum; in my opinion, as a 4x NCAA All-American, he is also the greatest wrestler in Williams College history. After talking with Jorge, Coach Stoll nailed it when he said, “As great a wrestler as Jorge was, he’s twice as good a guy off the mat.” I am proud that in raising the bar for this program every year both the coaches and the school have consistently cultivated not just great wrestlers, but outstanding leaders.

#3 BUILD AN IDENTITY TO COMPETE DAILY

When Guy Russo walked in the practice room, the temperature changed. With his construction boots and his icy-blue stare, it was time for business. Although Guy was a state champion and had technical acumen, his strength was not as a technician – it was getting everyone to push past their mental walls.

Every practice, after wrestling live until we thought we couldn’t do any more, he lined us up for sprints. Every time we thought we were done, he screamed, “Back on the line!”

There were days when I just thought it was crazy. It was almost as if Guy could hear my thoughts. “Stop listening to your mind!” he would yell. And he was right. At a certain point, you just let your body do what your mind thought it couldn’t. You just pushed past what you thought was possible, and then did it again and again.

At the time I needed it most, all of Guy’s training paid off. I was losing 11-8 in the third period of my first round of the state tournament at the dreaded “Super-Regions.” Between the 2nd and 3rd period, my opponent took injury time, and Guy looked at me. “This kid’s done! Push him and he’s going to break.”

Despite being behind, I knew he was 100% right, and I did just that. I took my opponent down three times in the third period to win 14-13, and went on to upset my next opponent to earn a spot in the state quarterfinals and ultimately finish top 8 in the tournament. Guy had laid the groundwork in pushing my teammates and me to compete every day – and that was the difference.

35 years later, it’s no different. Coach Stoll and Russo have built a culture where the cauldron of competition burns hot every day, and you are challenged to bring it every day. Today, it’s why if the match is tied in the 3rd period, my money is on the Delbarton guy, as I know what they have gone through to get to this point and what they know they can do. They are the living embodiment of the greatest school motto there is: Succisa Virescit. Cut down, it will grow stronger.

It was humbling to reconnect to this program that is rewriting New Jersey Wrestling history. To catch up with some great alums of the 1980s such as Andrew Anselmi, Tom Traynor, and Brian Hanlon, and then have the opportunity to meet the new wave and shake Patrick Glory’s hand made it a truly special day. All of us agreed that the experience of wrestling - the choice to compete every day - is what we carry from this special sport, and from our experience in this program. It's why I am not surprised when I hear the success these alums have had off the mat in bringing that same fire to their chosen arenas.

Congratulations to Patrick Glory, Mike Grey, and the Delbarton Wrestling Program for this much deserved opportunity to appreciate the legacy it has built. For those who are no longer with us, such as Father Bruno and Brian Fleury, I know you must be proud looking down knowing your role in building this house.

And to Coach Stoll and Coach Russo: I can’t wait to see where you take this program in the next 35 years!

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