Adolescence is an important phase where individuals transition from childhood to maturity. This stage comes with fears and challenges for teenagers due to the changes they go through as they try to discover the meaning of their lives and change it in new and effective ways, such as:
- Identifying important values in your life, which will serve as your compass guiding you to where you want to go. You can use the list of values translated by Dr. Abdel Jawad Khalifa, which includes (love, tolerance, family, intimate relationships, work achievements, friendship, financial success, respect, inner harmony, personal development, physical beauty or attractiveness, health, support, acceptance, compassion, honesty, wisdom, faith, freedom, credibility, courage, cooperation, justice, fun, curiosity, perseverance, creativity, security, protection, trust, and loyalty). Define your values in life, then prioritize them based on their importance to you, not based on what others might need from you.
- After identifying a set of values, choose one area of life that you want to serve, such as health, relationships, friendship, family, work, study, or self-development. Link a specific value to the area you chose (e.g., "I love my family," "I care about my studies," or "I am committed to exercising").
- Then, you can set a goal driven by the value you identified. Formulate these goals positively as achievable targets, be specific, detailed, and set an actual timetable for achieving them (e.g., "I will go to the gym every Saturday morning from 7 to 8 AM").
- Ensure that your goals are easily attainable. Therefore, choose activities that you enjoy, that aren't costly, and that you can engage in repeatedly, such as (listening to music, attending concerts, organizing social events, playing board games with friends or family, practicing mindfulness, planning vacations, reading, going to the library, or volunteering, etc.).
- Identify the barriers preventing you from achieving your goals precisely, such as being overly attached to your thoughts (clinging too tightly to ideas, feelings, or desires in your head) or avoidance (avoiding meaningful activities) or justifying why you didn’t achieve your goals.
- Create a solid plan to overcome the obstacles that hinder living a meaningful life. This can include accepting the thoughts, feelings, and desires that stand between you and what you want, even if they go against your desires. Afterward, choose a value-driven direction (a goal that aligns with what gives your life meaning) and take action to achieve these goals (such as going to the gym daily from 7 to 8).
- Show compassion to yourself when you can’t achieve what you planned. Remember that it's human nature to make mistakes, experience setbacks, and engage in self-destructive behaviors, leading to frustration and negative thoughts about oneself, increasing negative emotions. Realizing that others share these struggles makes it easier to have self-compassion. Be kind and gentle with yourself, recognizing that it's natural to fall but knowing you'll rise, review what caused the fall, try to fix it, and try again. Self-compassion is another skill to add to your toolkit, helping you overcome obstacles that may stand in your way. It comes in many forms and can help you move toward a meaningful life.
You can now book a session with (Azza Ezzat), a clinical psychologist and the author of this article, here: link. Just a click on your phone, wherever you are, to learn how to support your teenagers during this challenging phase with full privacy and security.
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