How To Confidently Talk To Decision Makers (even when you are feeling Imposter Syndrome)

Whether you are eager to meet your next employer decision maker or your ideal client decision maker, it's hard to approach a "big cheese" at a networking event or on LinkedIn when inside you feel like a fraud.

I remember being stunned when I interviewed the CEO of a top publishing company for a section of my book on networking, "Network Like A Fox."

I asked him if, even after all his accomplishments and stature, what his experience was like walking into a room of strangers at events and conferences.

He said, "To the world, I look confident. To me, I'm still that kid trying to look self-assured but feeling a giant case of Imposter Syndrome. I just know any moment, they're going to find me out."

Yes, Imposter Syndrome, that debilitating mindset that tells you " Who am I to..." and "They're going to find out I'm just a fraud and not at all up to their expectations," is a real thing.

It is a mindset sickness that is undiscriminating. Almost all of us have had a dose of it at one time or another.

It's especially destructive when we are want to "network up" and start engaging and building relationships with, earning the respect from our ideal decision makers.

Very often Imposter Syndrome will prevent us from attending the very venues that will put us smack dab in front of the employer we want to work for, the client we'd love to hire us.

My own case of Imposter Syndrome kicked in not too long ago.

After many years of training and coaching on strategic networking, I thought Imposter Syndrome was a thing of the past for me.

But then, I was working on developing relationships in the high-finance world of private equity.

I had only a few relationships in this arena but decided to jump in no holds barred.

I had been studying up on it for months and finally went to my first Private Equity conference in New York.

Drinking my own Kool Aid, I spoke with the program director to find out who would be attending. It was a perfect audience - lots of Private Equity firm leaders and those that served that sector.

The event was held at The Harvard Club (one of my favorite places to network). All dressed up with business cards in hand, I signed in.

And then the sweats began. I felt tongue tied. All my networking confidence flew out the window.

Even though I had prepped for months, Imposter Syndrome reared its very ugly head for the whole day.

Yes, I met some great folks and I did make a few solid connections that were helpful but I left the event mortified at how nervous and uncomfortable I had been.

Nevertheless, I still had many follow up calls with folks. I did this to teach Imposter Syndrome who was boss.

I share this with you all because Imposter Syndrome can kill your networking and job search achievements faster than you can blink your eyes.

It doesn't have to be this way.

A few tips to dispel the power of Imposter Syndrome, help you meet your decision makers with confidence:

1. Remember that everyone is as nervous and uncomfortable meeting new people as you.
2. Be prepared - study up on the decision makers you want to meet before an event or a meeting. Get a few 'rapport building' topics ready - location, interests, common contacts or companies.

( Before a meeting with one of my new Private Equity decision makers, I studied his company and his background. I found out that one of his board members was an old boss of mine - a big supporter :))

3. Have great open-ended, thought provoking questions ready to ask. Smart question asking earns respect and opens interesting dialogue.

4. Think about them, not you. Focus on being curious and interested vs. being interesting.

5. Just do it. You can feel that Imposter Syndrome and go for it anyone. The only way to feel confident is to have your first and then your second experience. Eventually, you will win the battle of the mind.

Nothing is more important than building relationships with the right people. The right values, the right knowledge and the right circles of influence are everything.

The antidote to Imposter Syndrome is your mindset.

Master your mind and Imposter Syndrome doesn't have a chance.

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Nancy Fox is the CEO of Fractional Connections™️ and Product WYZE™️, helping fractional executives, consultants, and trusted advisors scale up with productized services and recurring revenue subscription-based offers. She is the author of Network Like A Fox: A Targeted Approach To Building Successful Business Relationships - In Person and Online.