How to Make the Best Impression

What’s the key to making a good impression?  

If you’re like most people, when you’re trying to land a new client, a new deal, or a new job, you try to appeal to the interests of the person sitting across from you. To seem more likeable, you cater to their preferences and expectations. This is common: When I asked over 450 professionals to imagine they were about to have a high-stakes interaction—an interview, a negotiation, a pitch to investors—66 percent of them said they would cater to the other person. 71 percent believed that this was the most effective path to success.  

I’m here to tell you that the truth is just the opposite. Playing to someone else’s interests actually undermines your performance. Research shows that when you hide who you really are or what you’re really about, you become less sharp. The anxiety of displaying your knowledge about the other person makes you feel like a phony—and makes you seem like one too.

We make the best impression when we are authentic—when we defy our fears and show ourselves for who we are. When we experience this authenticity, we perform better, feel more joy, persist better in the face of challenges, and feel more satisfaction at work. Here are a few ways you can be more authentic—and make the best impression.

Show vulnerability. We all hesitate to share our emotions or mistakes out of fear of being judged. But being open is the fastest way to win trust. Others sense your courage and will be inspired to do the same. You will connect more quickly and deeply.

Play to your strengths. Show yourself for who you are by embracing what you’re good at. When we think about self-improvement, we tend to focus on weaknesses. But this is backward: We actually improve faster in areas where we are strong. Invest in what your naturally do best.

Take time for self-reflection. Self-awareness gives you insight into how best to be you. Study your strengths and examine the qualities and interests that make you who you are. Make time on the calendar. Regular reflection gives you confidence in your own skin.

You make the best impression when you are yourself. Rebel against your instincts to hide. You will feel better. You will be more effective. And you will achieve greater things.