HOW PATTERNS CAN HELP OUR HEALING JOURNEY

Let me start by asking you a question that would be helpful to stimulate your mind as you read this piece.

Do you ever take note of the familiar events in your life?

Do you notice when you take a walk on the beach sand, your feet leave a trail of your footsteps on the ground where you walked? I used to walk back the same path playfully while placing my feet on the trail of my earlier footsteps! The beauty of that mark you’ve left on the beach sand is that if anyone who had an idea about the size of your foot or the type of beach sandals you are wearing was looking for you, they could trace you by those footsteps to get to where you are.

These footsteps can be reckoned to patterns when it comes to our life. They can be directional, showing a firm link from where we began to where we currently are. Just like the marks of your feet on the sand, so can events in your life leave trails behind that I’ll refer here as patterns. These trails can serve as a useful tool in your emotional healing with a successful outcome.

A pattern here refers to the familiar and repeated stories or events and lived experiences about your life that you can easily see without much ado because they are evident.

Patterns can be used to identify our reoccurring triggers, conflicts, pains, or whatever emotions we experience and desire to heal from. They can also serve as our track checkers for the more pleasant events in our lives.

If we can identify patterns, we can understand what needs healing.

Patterns are an important part of our lives. They can be used to understand how our lives have been; as well as the potential direction it is going if all things remain equal.

When I work with my clients, one thing I try to do first is to know if the current issue they have consulted me for is in any way familiar, that is, is this their first time having this issue; does anyone in their bloodline experience a similar event? I want to be sure whether it’s an isolated case or not. In most instances it is rarely isolated.

Once this is done I can move forward in the right direction to work with my client in applying the most appropriate intervention possible to break whatever cycle of patterns that has become an obstacle to their mental well-being.

Identifying existing patterns has been helpful to my personal healing journey as well. I’ve found it the same in working with others. I believe we can maximize our patterns as a way to grasp our story. Rarely do events happen in isolation. Patterns have a way of giving us links to the people, environments, stuff or situations that kind of show us how the story had begun, and offer a chance for possible future leads if the cycle hasn’t been tampered with.

I noticed that people tend to talk about patterns in a way that connotes negativity. I reckon it is not so. Rather I see patterns more like a helpful feedback tool for reflective purposes. We can see it as helping us solve a puzzle as we trace the timeline and numbers of occurrences of a particular situation. Understanding the patterns in your life serves useful purposes for your personal journey.

Patterns can help us become more self-aware.

For emotional healing purposes, we can look at the patterns around our lives where we’ve suffered the most pains, conflicts or resistance, then seek more knowledge in that area for the goal of resolution. Without the knowledge of the patterns our life tends to follow, we might continue in never-ending cycles of repeated mistakes unaware of what’s causing the turmoil in our lives.

Paying attention to our patterns can also show us the most consistent thoughts we have about ourselves. This can help us identify any underlying beliefs we have about ourselves in particular areas that haven't been helpful to our mental well-being.

However you choose to look at it, understanding our patterns is good for us.

For instance, in an intimate relationship, if you find yourself attracting the same kind of lovers that end up being disappointing, that’s a pattern, because you are the only constant factor here.

It doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you. Or that you’re unlovable; even though you might have this as part of the limiting core beliefs sabotaging your love life. The knowledge of this relationship pattern can show you evidence about what you’ve been doing wrongly that has made this experience you would rather not have a repetition.

If you see this as a feedback, and learn from it, you can discover from there what needs to be done or undone in order for you to connect with your kind next time. This is one of the roles identifying patterns can play in leading a better life for ourselves. As a result of these findings, you’re more likely to pay attention when next someone comes knocking at the door of your heart.

What this means is that identifying patterns in our lives can activate a form of awareness or consciousness. Once we’re aware or conscious of something in the mind, it becomes easier to have the preferred experience in this physical realm.

Healing or any form of self-improvement are preceded by awareness first. But without an awareness of these patterns, we might continue to sabotage our own lives by making the same unhelpful mistakes or decisions that affect us badly. It is only through awareness that we can make positive changes in our lives, especially when it involves an autopilot behaviour from the subconscious programming. An awareness of your patterns play a part in your overall self-awareness journey.

When it comes to our self-worth, patterns can reveal the underlying beliefs guiding how we see ourselves.

Our patterns can reveal a whole lot about our underlying core self-beliefs that are the base for who we are and what we do. Therefore, paying attention to observing the repetitive conversations we have with ourselves and the descriptive ways we talk about ourselves to others, can show the beliefs we hold of ourselves as we act to deal with the self-sabotaging beliefs.

Again, by observing your patterns, you can become more aware of your feelings, triggers, thoughts, and actions. As these become conscious, it is way easier for you to exercise some level of control over your behaviour. Thus improving your mental health.

You can break old patterns and intentionally develop helpful ones.

By identifying our patterns we can start to ask the right questions like: what is the deeper issue I’m dealing with? What am I not believing right? What actual experience do I want from this situation, and what can I start to do to have this new experience?

Asking the right questions gives us a clearer insight into the core inner programming leading these patterns.

When you start to believe right about yourself, it changes the constant thoughts you are having about yourself, which influences how you feel about yourself, and the language you use when talking about yourself. All these are signs that healing is happening within you. This is the door of change.

Once you identify old self-limiting patterns, breaking free involves changing the source of that pattern formation. Sometimes the wrong belief system is the source as I’ve reiterated earlier.

With changes in your belief system, new patterns are formed in time to fit into your new state of being. You’re thus exercising your creative power in recreating yourself. This is how we reinvent who we are!

Patterns are not static. We’re daily forming new ones or reinstating older ones. New beliefs activate new behaviours from new thinking that converts to new patterns. So the old is fading away for the new to come in, until you’ve succeeded in breaking the cycle of old pattern(s) holding back your happiness.

This is how we transform ourselves from within. It might take time but it is an effective change formula that tends to deal with root issues, rather than the usual “cosmetic” surface shifts that lead to no real long-standing internal transformation.

If you want to heal from self-sabotaging beliefs in the form of unconscious programming running your life, I’d suggest you pay attention to the patterns in your life going forward. It is not an impossible task, except that it would require personal openness and honesty. It requires effort on your part at observing the trails left off from your experiences. And this time, it isn’t just about your footsteps on the beach sand. It is about the human experiences you are living.

Cheers to your healing journey

Joy Iseki

Lead Therapist,  Joy Iseki International

For consultation on your healing journey, send us a message here, info@joyisekiinternational.com 

www.joyisekiinternational.com