How to (Safely) Criticize Your Boss

Nearly everyone has thought about telling off their boss. Yes, a few lash out, often regretting the consequences. Realistically, most people restrain the urge and try their best to endure whatever they may perceive as annoying, unfair or unjust. Rather than dichotomizing choices to either staying quiet vs. getting fired, let’s explore some options that blend effective messaging with safe current employment (and maybe even enhanced advancement opportunities).

This issue came up during a High Performance Coaching session I conducted with a Director level corporate client. He expressed dismay at what he thought was a flawed rollout of a new policy by senior leaders that he felt harmed many junior level associates. Yet he struggled trying to decide whether to voice his concerns and, if so, how to do so with minimal career risk and resultant family devastation. 

After sensitively probing my client’s motivating courage, we were able to focus on tactical options from which he might choose to act… or not. Despite the goodwill he had earned during his successful career, I could hear his angst as he struggled with how to best rectify his perceived executive errors. I say “perceived” because it was not my role to investigate, assess or judgmentally characterize any internal activity. I was there to coach him on whatever clarity, courage, influence and persuasion he might be ready to consider moving forward in his quest for sustained higher performance in both his work and home life.

To ease his tension, we postulated some consultative questions and statements he might ask to help senior leaders consider possible immediate actions to achieve better future results. Remembering my neutrality, we were also able to better prepare him for any future situations, regardless of whether or not there seemed to be evident harm or known alternative solutions.

This led to my creating the Consultatively Coaching Upward℠ framework, with sample phrasing to have ready in advance of future predicaments. 

Here are a couple of important assumptions. This framework is intended from the point of view of the person considering how to Consultatively Coach Upward. So it is that person’s perception of harm, without assuming whether the recipient(s) are aware of or need to acknowledge any real or perceived harm. Same with alternative solutions. The recipient may have alternatives in mind, once the issues are brought to their attention, that are unknown to the person attempting to upwardly coach. 

As my client was unsure what alternative solution(s) might salvage the situation based on the harm he perceived, we started with REDIRECT in the upper left corner of the framework that combines Unknown Solution (Alternatives) AND Aware of Harm. Here are some applicable examples:

REDIRECT (Solution Unknown yet Aware of Harm) examples:

SUPPOSE THAT we…

            …pause to re-evaluate

            …measure interim progress before determining next steps

            …mitigate now to help avoid possibly bigger problems later

When presented in a neutral, non-judgmental tone, we saw minimal risk of the receiver over-reacting to the inquiry. Quite the opposite in that I discovered later that my client’s calm and sincere interest in how best to improve the situation resulted in his being asked to lead the team responsible for rolling out the next phase. No one wanted there to be any perceptions of harm at any level, and appreciated my client stepping forward to help.

Yet how about proactively preparing to deal with other possible scenarios? 

Under circumstances where someone may be unaware of potential harm, and not yet know of any alternative solutions, you might ask why they should even consider getting involved. Might that be unnecessarily “butting in”? Perhaps, yet consider my client’s situation where there is a perceived history of possibly harmful or inadequately explained executive actions. The following examples show how it might be done in a non-threatening way that avoids potential pushback or retaliation.

DETECT (Solution Unknown and Unaware of Harm) examples:

I WONDER IF we may have…

            …overlooked…

            …underestimated…

            …inadvertently missed…

Again, if presented in a neutral, exploratory manner without pointing blame at anyone, it may help earn a seat earlier at the strategy table to help avoid potential future damage.

What about when you have some ideas of how things could be improved, even if unaware at the time whether or not any harm exists or has yet been discovered? That is a good time to ask INSPECT questions, even if the interim solutions include simply learning more to help frame future solutions. 

INSPECT (Solution Known and Unaware of Harm) examples:

WHAT IF we…

            …build in more milestones to fine tune each step?

            …ensure every (one or group) who could be affected has input throughout our process?

            …ask stakeholders for additional perspective to…

                        …minimize potential pushback?

                        …foster broader buy-in?

                        …possibly enhance future results?

Then there is the situation when both a solution and awareness of actual or perceived harm may be present. Recognizing that eliminating all potential harm may be unrealistic, what might be done to PROTECT current progress while continuously seeking further improvement? Raising the following questions may be pertinent if effectively timed, especially by those who have also earned an early seat at the strategy table to offer input.

PROTECT (Solution Known and Aware of Harm) examples:

HOW MIGHT IT BE HELPFUL IF we also consider…

            …bringing in a specialized resource?

            …conducting an A-B test for data to help strategize our next actions?

            …escalating for broader guidance?

Have you noticed how each of these consultative questions need not be reserved only for the boss? They work at all levels in any situation, including home and volunteer activities.

More significantly, being armed with these consultative techniques means no one need necessarily fear being fired for challenging others in this manner. Use them authentically to nurture collaborative change, inviting thoughtful insights and proactively minimizing any unnecessary harm.