How to support a colleague experiencing moral injury

Introduction

Do you suspect a work colleague is experiencing moral injury? If so, what can you do other than watching, or burying your head in the sand?

Let me offer a definition of moral injury if you are new to my newsletter

.Moral injury refers to the psychological, social and spiritual impact of events involving betrayal or transgression of one’s own deeply held moral beliefs and values occurring in high stakes situations. Moral injury is not a recognized mental health disorder in itself, but may be associated with PTSD or depression. (Moral Injury | Open Arms).

The first sentence alone, if you spent time unpacking it, lets you know that moral injury is a deeply disturbing and unpleasant episode in one’s life. As you may imagine, it is not something one gets over easily or by simply doing a few mindfulness exercises as much as mindfulness is proving effective in helping people recover from trauma. 

Initial responses to help

One of the telling signs is seeing a colleague who was once vibrant and motivated, has now  lost energy and gusto for their work. Of course, things could be happening in their personal life, but you have checked in with them and home life is satisfactory. You know for a fact they have been targeted by work colleagues, and or, management. 

You may ask them how they are and they may not want to tell you for a whole host of reasons. Here are a few. 

1. They do not want you to get into trouble with their issues
2. Being a female worker with career aspirations they do not want to appear as though they are moaning. After all, being an ambitious woman is sometimes seen as a treat in some organisations. Worst still, if you have reported someone for unprofessional or unethical behaviour. 
3. A male worker may simply say, “It’s nothing. I just need to man up.
4. Being part of a marginalised group…one comes to expect it.

Signs of a worker experiencing moral injury

One of the things I learnt when I trained as a psychotherapist is that behaviour is a symbolic representation of something deeper happening to us. Unfortunately, this is an issue with young children which is often overlooked. We do not have the time to explore this further in this newsletter, but so-called, ‘badly behaved kids’ are saying something by their behaviour, but too often, as adults, we reprimand them for their behaviour and do not ask the question,” what is causing this child to behave/act in this way?” Being reprimanded, without understanding, empathy or providing solutions, only makes matters worse.

Here are some signs to watch out fo

Guilt - ruminating there is something that they should, or should not have done. This can be commonplace when such individuals are targeted about their performance. The attack can be done in such a way where the individual, though right in their decisions and actions, have been made to feel they were wrong in doing so. 

Shame - The criticism of their performance is questioned where they now feel they are no good. They feel unprofessional and incompetent. Any confidence they once displayed has almost but evaporated.

Anger - in response to how they have been treated accompanied by sadness.

Self -sabotaging behaviours - they now struggle on their own. They do not ask for help. They withdraw from their team members. Once they were an instrumental team member now they become difficult, defensive, critical of their team and themselves. They literally go in on themselves and it is often not a pretty sight. 

Lack of trust - they no longer trust their team or the organisation where they once were loyal. This lack of trust can go as far as having little or no trust in humanity.

Home life- disrupted. More so, if they do not want to alarm or worry their family with personal issues in the workplace.

What can you do to offer support?

1. Listen, listen well and be Present. Possibly outside of the work setting where you are not being watched by other workers or management. Never underestimate the power of your presence in critical moments in people’s lives.
2. ask the person to share what has happened to them. I love this quote by Maya Angelou.
3. being objective, can you ask the person, what things do they have control of, and what things they do not have control , and can they let go of what they do not have control of?
4. Remind them of their strengths and core values though almost decimated by their work environment. 

I recall several years ago a friend of mine in a very senior post was suspended for nearly two years while investigations ensued. We met frequently and on one occasion I remembered sharing something along the lines of, ‘You may be suspended from work, but do not lose sight of the vision for your life.’

Once his suspension was over, and he was reinstated, he commented that one of the occasions we met he was feeling low and seriously suicidal when I spoke to him about not losing sight of the vision for his life. Those words gave him hope to keep living. Believe me, it was a deeply moving moment, and a rare sight, seeing two Caribbean men in their fifties, shedding tears…

5. Over a period of time, are you able to ask the person, what meaning does this experience have for them? We all have experiences, but they only reveal what they have to teach us if we spend time reflecting on them.

Concluding thoughts

As you support your colleague one of the best things you can do for them is being present. 

A thought from the Stoics suggests, ‘When you are fully present, you can hear the whispers of your soul.’ I would add, when you are fully present you can hear the whispers, not only of your soul, but the whispers of the other person’s soul too.

Wishing you well and working towards the best for you. 

Delroy Hall

www.delwes.com

With over three decades experience working as a psychotherapist, trainer, facilitator, and as a local and  international leader, I work with individuals, teams and organisations.

I look forward to you joining me and others on Tuesday 23 July at 7.00 pm, live on LinkedIn, X, (formerly Twitter) and YouTube where we do a deep dive into how we can support a colleague who might be experiencing moral injury.