I am not motivated anymore.

Some where around Jan'20, around the time Covid was ‘just another interesting news from some where far away from me’, I remember walking up the stairs at work and hearing a few creaks from my knees. By the time I reached my desk, I was panting.

Key stats at this time: Age – 43 years, Weight – 117 kgs, Cholesterol and blood pressure – Way too high, Knees hurt always, Waist – 40 inches. Needed that drink at least thrice a week & that smoke almost every day to calm my nerves. Then, Covid hit me.

I have had many ‘wake up’ calls in the past. But, never heeded any of them. The unconscious belief was…nothing can happen to me. In Jun '20, a colleague pushed me to join him on a bicycle ride at Al Qudra (those in Dubai know). I joined him one Friday morning, not because I wanted to ride, but to make him stop asking. Every grain in my body justified to me that it was OK to curl up under my blanket and go back to sleep that morning. We eventually rode; I felt like I had climbed Mount Everest when in fact I rode just 22 kms on my rented bike.

My body hurt with that level of exertion…it made me believe that I had achieved something monumental, and I couldn’t wait to reach home to gush about it to my kids. Never did the thought pass my mind that I had set the bar so low. My body continued to hurt for about a week, while I was basking in the afterglow of my…’achievement’. So caught up I was in that, that I didn’t ride for two weeks after.

My next ride was the Qudra loop of 50 kms on a hot July morning. I rode alone and almost passed out that I had to get off the bike and rest for a bit until the black spots in my vision cleared.

I continued to ride from that day onwards, most of them solo because I was scared to let people see ‘the ungainly giant’ on a bike. I wasn’t consistent with it; I rode when I wasn’t lazy and when I ‘found the time’. My self-assigned title was…’lazy cyclist’.

In Nov'20, my mother passed away after a long bout of illness; the last 47 days of her illustrious life was spent in a hospital. In my life I have not seen anyone like her; she was the quintessential definition of a workaholic with no regard for her personal health. This was yet another one of those…yes, you guessed it, ‘wake up calls’. By this time, I have had so many of those that I wouldn’t have known if it had punched me in my face.

 Fast forward to June 2022. I was still a lazy cyclist. That same old colleague sat in front of me one day and kept needling me to sign up for a big ride that happens every year in the UAE; the Coast-to-Coast bike ride from the east coast to the west coast covering about 160kms and 1300m of vertical elevation. I signed up for this ride not because I wanted to do this (the warm and soft insides of my soft blanket was too much to ignore), but to get him to stop asking me. It was 4th June and I still remember feeling complete overwhelmed, and out of sorts when it hit me what I had signed up for. It was suggested to me that I find a coach who can get me into shape just for the event.

Key stats at this time – The same as before except the drinking and smoking, which fell by the wayside at some point.

 The Coach put me on a plan that had at its roots, consistency in everything I did from that day onwards.

Consistent and healthy eating – I began to practice intermittent fasting, which was pure hell during the first week.

Regular training rides on my bike. I trained 6 days a week; all my rides started at 5 am and for that to happen I had to wake up at 3:30 am. Every. Single. Day. The Coach’s motto was to break me and ‘rebuild’ me. At that point I felt it was mostly a sales pitch. When I think back, he DID break me and rebuild me. Physically and mentally.

At least 6-7 hours of quality sleep every day.

During this period, I had done quite a few 100+ km rides. There are two rides that I specifically hold as important – the steep ride up Jebel Jais (those in UAE know) on 10th August 2022 and the first 200 km ride on 5th November 2022. These two, considering the bar I had set for myself then, showed me what I was capable of if I applied myself.

I eventually got to the morning of the Coast-to-Coast ride, which was a cool and pleasant November morning. My mind was filled with fear and self-doubt with a small helping of confidence! One thing was sure….I was mentally ready to not give up. Plus, I had the added motivation of my wife and kids meeting me up mid-ride as my support car. They were watching me…how could I give up? I finished the ride at around 12:45 pm….with a lot more ‘left in my tank’. In the last few kms of the ride, a few things became clear…

A.      I really was broken up by the Coach and he really had rebuilt me. With tears freely flowing (was easy since there was no one to see),

B.      I realized…I kept underestimating my abilities consistently.

C.      I realized…I didn’t want to end up like my mother.

Since that day, I had stopped being a lazy cyclist. My weight had dropped from 117kgs to 89 kgs. None of my clothes fit me. Why did I choose to share my experience with you?

A.      It is because of the realization that you are limited by your own thoughts of what you are capable of.

B.      NOTHING is more important than your personal health.

C.      Motivation is severely OVERRATED. Habit creation is severely UNDERRATED. Getting up at 3:30 am every day is NOTHING, if it is a habit.

 Here are a few stats that I would like to end with.

Weight – consistently at 86-87 kgs, Eating – I still practice IF, Cholesterol and blood pressure– deep in the healthy zone, Resting heart rate – At my peak, it was 48 bpm, I have an occasional beer to celebrate an achievement, I ride 5 days a week and weight-train once a week. I am not motivated any more. This life has become a HABIT.

Our excuses / reasons are our own. If you think you are capable…you are right. If you think you are not capable…you are right again!

This is me now.

Thank you for taking time to read.