“I Think This Diversity and Inclusion Stuff Has Gone Too Far.”

5 Ways to Respond to DEI Resistance

I got a pretty direct message from a senior leader last week that said, “I think this diversity and inclusion stuff has gone too far. Everyone is equal, so why are some MORE equal than others? And why are they favoured not on merit but by statistics?”

In the same week, another one came in saying, “My thoughts are that this topic is destroying the fabric of society. The world has always been diverse and inclusive; the media is the problem.”

To be honest, these comments were a bit of a shock. After 18 years in the DEI space, such blatant resistance isn't something I hear every day. Usually, it's more subtle, like, “I am pro-DEI, BUT…”

This made me realise that resistance to DEI is very much alive. Many of you might face similar comments as you work to create inclusive environments. Here are five ways to respond to such comments:

1. Courageous Curiosity

One of my habits for being inclusive (check out my book The 6 Habits of Being an Inclusive Leader) is courageous curiosity. It's tough because DEI-related conflicts can make us hesitant. In this case, I’d ask:

“I’m curious as to why you think that way… can you explain more?”

Keep asking until you get to the specifics. A comment this blatant usually stems from a personal issue or story. Challenge the beliefs around the story, not the general comment.

2. Talk About ‘Merit’

Often, comments like these come from someone feeling passed over for a promotion or job by a “diversity candidate.” They might think they were better suited for the role and that the other person got it unfairly due to ticking a diversity box.

I would ask questions like:

• “Are you sure that person wasn’t the best person for the job?”
• “Do you think merit is subjective, and that different people might make different decisions based on their perception of merit?”
• “Is your view of merit based on the type of person who has historically done the role? Is that still the type of person needed for your organisation’s growth?”

3. Privilege

The concept of privilege often makes people uncomfortable. It doesn't mean you haven’t had it tough; it’s about comparing your journey to someone else’s even tougher journey.

Here’s an analogy I use: “Imagine you had to ride your bike over a mountain to get to a job. It was hard, you fell, got bruised, but you made it. Now think of Rita, who had to do the same journey on an old bike with no gears and no water or snacks. She also arrives, battered and bruised. You both struggled, but her journey was harder.”

Then, ask if someone else’s career advancement journey might be different and whether it’s fair or just tough luck.

4. Is Fairness the Same for Everyone?

One of my habits is “Fairness Tailored to You,” meaning fairness looks different for different people. Leaders often get this intellectually but struggle to apply it.

Ask:

• “Is treating everyone the same actually fair?”
• “Are we using one approach that suits a particular group and applying it to everyone?”
• “If our goal is to get the best out of each team member, will a blanket approach work?”

5. Challenge ‘Diversity’ vs ‘Inclusion’

Resistance often comes from focusing only on hiring more women without further substance. This one-sided approach can cause frustration.

Explain that focusing on inclusion has a huge business case and benefits everyone. Ask how it would feel if every team member was excited to come to work because they felt they belonged.

“What would it do for you if every team member felt they belonged because you helped them feel that way?”

This approach leads to a sustainable DEI journey, not just ticking boxes. Have a deep conversation and suggest they become an advocate for inclusion-first strategies.

Educating Frontline Leaders

A key part of reducing resistance is educating people at all levels, especially frontline leaders. Our Frontline Leader Inclusion Habits Journey is designed to do just that. By equipping frontline leaders with the tools and understanding they need, we can foster a more inclusive environment from the ground up. This kind of education can make a big difference in how DEI efforts are perceived and embraced across the organisation. Learn more about the program here. For additional details, visit this link.

Final Thoughts

I hope these tips help when you face resistance from leaders. The key is not to get furious—get curious! It helps you understand the root cause. If someone is overtly anti-DEI and tells you, it’s a gift.