The I/Me Conundrum

The challenge over whether to use I or me in a sentence is really a subject vs. object issue.   

You likely do not need a lesson on subjects and objects, but a quick review is harmless. Please stay with me. In the sentence “I met my friend at the mall,” I is the subject, friend is the object.

What happens when we reverse subject and object? “My friend met me at the mall.”

Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right? “My friend met I at the mall” is clearly incorrect. 

Confusion arises when compounding the first-person pronoun. I speculate it has to do with many of us remembering the swift admonishment of a teacher or parent when we uttered something like, “Me and Billy met our friend at the mall.”

“Billy and I,” came the harsh retort. Unfortunately, context was missing in the rebuke. “Billy and I” is correct because it is the subject of the sentence. 

If my friend met Billy and me at the mall, well, there you have it. Take Billy out of the equation and “me” is the correct pronoun to use. If the sentence “My friend met Billy and I at the mall” fails to elicit the blood curdling effect akin to fingernails on a chalkboard, then you may have developed a bad habit. Let’s break that!

Capisce? 

Just one more thing (cue Columbo). Notice in my quotations above that the end quote is always placed outside the period or comma. This is grammatically correct in American English. It is a mistake I see often in printed/published material. If your teacher told you the period or comma should go outside the end quote when the entire sentence is not being quoted, s/he was wrong. That would only be the case in British English. In the case of a question mark, the rule is the same in both American and British English. I will address this along with misuse of the reflexive pronoun “myself” in future posts. Spoiler alert: unless you did something to yourself, use “me.” 

If you have questions, please feel free to contact me. 

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Lorraine Ranalli is a radio personality, published author, and corporate communications professional who specializes in messaging, branding, and Public Speaking coaching. Wife, mother, and Delco proud round out her other titles.