The importance of intention, values, and focus on themes

It's mid-February, how are your new year's goals tracking?

Whilst most people make well intentioned goals in the new year, they can fall by the wayside when the January holiday period is over, and we get busy again in Feb.

The reason why local goal setting, such as exercise 3x week or eat better or even something bigger such as find a new career, don't last a lot of the time (not all of the time), is that we miss to connect them to a clear intention and value set that holds and sustains them throughout the year.

Starting something new is exciting for most people, but we need to build in ways to overcome the inevitable inertia that grips us all in the face of change.

Our ego does not like change, so it is up to the individual's resilience and tenacity to push through. Have a few bad days or weeks and that can be eroded, and we start to make excuses because that goal is no longer "that" important and we succumb to the status quo with an quiet internal sigh that the pressure is off.

Over time we pay the price of self-betrayal with a lack of belief in ourselves. We diminish and miss what could be possible for us.

So, what now? Push harder, well that didn't work in the past, so why do that again? We already feel so tired and overwhelmed.

There are many ways I tried and failed, fell off the wagon and got back on to change. I argue it's so much more than new habit or new job, it's a new way of being in the world, a new way to bring more of yourself to the world and ultimately feel more joy and fulfilment in life.

We are expansive and ever evolving beings if only we would get out of our own way.

One of many things that worked for me is yearly themes and values alignment. Let me demonstrate.

2022 was the year of Vitality. I had just come out of the horror of lockdowns which was detrimental to my physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. I found a naturopath and got onto sorting out my health.

Vitality, not weight loss, not fitness, was my goal. I prioritised exercise, sleep, healthy eating and friendships to make wholistic changes. I dropped coffee, alcohol, got help for anxiety and sleeplessness (diet and natural medication) to lower my cortisol. I went on endless walks to burn off stress. In short, I made that a priority.

2023 was the year of Relationships. I was still struggling with connecting with friends and general social outings, recognising the trauma of lockdown was sitting in my body.

I started working with a psychologist to change my habits and rebuild the confidence I had in the past. During our sessions, I realised that it was time for me to consider romantic relationships and emotional intimacy. I went out to start dating again (which by the way can be a whole lot of a thing in itself) and learnt the importance of discernment, clear boundaries and communication. I started dating someone whose emotional maturity, values and interests matched my own.

2024 is the year of Sustainability. I have big plans and want to achieve them. I have burned out once before and know that working and pushing hard is not the way I want to do this again. I want to be challenged and grow, and it cannot be at the expense of vitality and relationships. My value stack includes growth and perseverance, and a ton of joy.

More to come...