The Ineffable Affair Between Life and Death

What makes me an expert in writing about this subject? Well, nothing but the fact that I escaped death as soon as I was born. I have witnessed the death of a sister, my parents, and most recently the love of my life. 

For as long as we know, life and death have been lovers. Death is the most painful, strangest, and yet the most normal occurrence in life. The birth of a new life inevitably brings the proverbial ‘sword’ dangling precariously on the heads of those we love. It is the fate of all that lives!  We know that securing the life and presence of those we love forever is not possible, and yet we hope it might happen. This sense of foreboding fuels unselfish love, compelling us to strengthen and cherish it - a vital role death plays in shaping the meaning of life.

Death is surreal because there is so much we do not accept or understand about it. It is akin to a beloved – a combination of infinitely complex aspects. It is an event that disperses atoms put together in an obdurately inimitable sequence, contradicting the continuity, togetherness, and stability that humans crave. It is that one foreordained moment that reproaches and undermines all that we cling to, somewhat foolishly! We know that nothing profoundly execrable has taken place since this is what is meant to be and yet Death feels wrong and a punishment. 

Death, however, is woven into the contract of Life – it is what we pledged when we took birth. Odious as it may sound, life is the incongruity, while death is common to all and the realization of which, teaches us to love, have compassion, and do all the good that we might undertake in our lifetime. 

Death is the primary vulnerability, given that it is inescapable – it is perhaps the only complete truth of life. The desire and instinct to survive create an indecipherable paradox of existence which results in anxiousness, and when it is about our loved ones we become defensive and lean towards every possible coping mechanism. 

We cling desperately to any beliefs/teachings/anything larger than us – anything that will allow us to believe that it will outlive ‘death’.  We want to believe, albeit falsely, that if we do everything that is ‘right’ and dictated by world views, we will escape the inevitable fate! We hope that the love we have for ourselves and those special ones in our lives will save us and them from the reality of life. We wish and consistently believe our love will act as a magic elixir to keep the experiential distress associated with life, at bay. It is false self-esteem that makes it harder to accept the inevitable. 

Life and Death are inseparable lovers – nothing will change that!