Insights About Adversity, Setbacks and Letting Go
Jackie Capers-Brown - Brave Women Evolve
Award-winning Executive * Self-Leadership Success Strategist * Empowers Women to Activate Their Greatness and Brave Their Unique Abilities to Achieve Their Life, Relationship, Leadership and Career Goals.
In the Art of Possibility, Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander writes, "...many of the circumstances that seem to block us in our daily lives only appear to do so based on a framework of assumptions we carry with us. Every story you tell yourself is based on a network of assumptions."
Four simple words whispered in my ear by my sister Glendia as she hugged me caused my knees to buckle underneath me as I fainted and fell to the floor. "Jackie, he's gone."
After a nurse used smelling salts to resuscitate me, several family members helped me to stand up. I began to cry inconsolably while shaking my head as I repeated to myself over and over again, "No, God this can't be." Never in my worst nightmare did I ever imagine that I would have to bury a child.
Just like that my life as I knew it would never be the same.
LIFE was asking me to accept another heart wrenching adversity beyond my control. LIFE was asking me to face my greatest fear as a mom. LIFE was asking me to trust in myself to figure out how to live forward with a heart that had been broken in pieces.
I don't know the heartaches, disappointments and adversities that you've experienced or is experiencing at this moment. I do know that hope is necessary for you to live forward.
It is my hope that as I share some of my insights about adversity, setbacks and letting go that you will feel a sense of hope that better days are possible, if you are willing to believe so.
Life Is A Smorgasbord of Experiences
Life is always presenting us with a range of experiences that are defined by our thoughts, beliefs, perceptions and feelings.
Some of these experiences we will love others not so much. Many of us during our lifetime will experience some of the following: the unexpected loss of a loved one, a devastating medical diagnosis, an unimaginable betrayal, loss of a job, breakups, burn out and breakdowns, personal finance issues, worry, anxiety, constant streams of distractions, loneliness, feeling like our life has no purpose, paralyzing fear, lackluster romantic relationships and feeling disconnected from the very people we love and care for the most.
If you are experiencing any of the above or something else, you maybe feeling so overwhelmed by your thoughts and emotions regarding the situation that you feel stuck. You're unsure of what to do next. The uncertainty of the situation seems to have you frozen in place doing the bare minimal as you hope for an answer that provides you with a clue as to what to do next. You may question if you have what it takes to do what is necessary to move forward.
All of this is a part of the process of learning how to navigate a new normal after our lives have been shaken by something beyond our control. Be patient with yourself.
For now, show yourself the lovingkindness, compassion and empathy your heart, mind, body and soul needs to honor the truth of what you feel and how an experience has impacted you.
Whether you are feeling stuck because of a past experience or a recent experience, I want to encourage you with a truth that you might not be willing to accept at this moment, but overtime you will understand it for yourself. The truth is, "Life doesn't ask more from us than what we already have within us to handle."
Every experience in our lives that disrupts what we think about how life "should be" challenges us to deepen our awareness and knowledge of who we are and what we're truly capable of.
Unfortunately, many people don't choose to evolve until they experience a painful experience while the option to evolve by inspiration is always available to them.
I have learned from my own experiences that life is a lot easier when we choose to evolve inspired by a vision of a future possibility than it is to do so as a result of a painful experience.
Letting Go
When our lives are disrupted by a setback or adversity these moments provide us the opportunity to awaken to a new level of consciousness and a mindful attention toward getting clear about what really matters to so that we can embrace the process of letting go with acceptance and humility.
Emotional pain has a way of shining a light on what we've been denying and dismissing about ourselves and our life. This can also be achieved by cultivating a regular meditation and mindfulness practice.
The process of letting go involves us identifying what is no longer serving us. This can look like letting go beliefs, thoughts, emotional perceptions and behaviors that reflect a version of yourself that you know no longer represent your best self.
Letting go can look like embracing the voice of your soul that's inspiring you to be in service to a new vision of your future. A vision that requires you to embrace, embody and express a new level of faith and spaciousness to expand the territory of your life in a way that you've never demonstrated before.
Letting go can look like doing the shadow work necessary to embrace radical forgiveness toward yourself and others so that you are no longer bound to emotions of your past.
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Letting go can look like realizing that living your life today govern by your past prevents you from seeing the possibility of new possibilities in your life, and that you choose to live your life forward in the energy of possibility versus pain.
Letting go can look like taking an honest inventory of your relationships and identifying the people who are supporting you in a way that causes you to feel loved, seen, heard, and valued and those that are not.
No matter how you slice it, whenever you have experienced an heartache, setback or adversity, it's up to you to press the reset button to rise anew with fresh perspectives that inspire you to begin the process of moving beyond what has been familiar to you to create a more expansive new normal in life.
My Story
Although it took me three years to give myself permission to actually process the heart wrenching grief in my heart from the loss of son, Blease in a healthy way - the following five things I know in my heart and soul to be true for me and could possibly be true for you as well.
Today, as I begin to embrace a new chapter of planning and preparing to do the work to open a wellness and retreat center in the Savannah, GA area in the next three years, I am able to do so knowing that the spaciousness I feel in my soul will inspire me to become a better person, teacher and leader.
In the meantime, I will continue to create sacred online learning experiences that inspire hope, and empower people to connect to the transformational power within them to heal and create a life that resonates with the spaciousness in their soul.
All of which will serve to prepare me for the day when the vision for the healing space I'm being called to build manifests as a physical space that will provide me with a home base for myself and other like-minded teachers and healers to be of service and contribute to the healing and flourishing of humanity.
Conclusion
Whenever you abdicate your power to any circumstance, eventually you will begin to believe there is nothing you can do to change it.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Dwelling within you right now is the same creative power that formed the Universe. You have and always will have access to this power within you to transform your reality.
When you have the courage to redefine what else is possible in your life and you cultivate a resilient mind and heart that inspires you with the belief that you are capable of doing hard things, you will begin to develop an empowering perspective of who you are, who you can become, what you are worthy of and capable of in life.
You will discover the courage within your heart and develop the confidence that comes from the wholeness within your soul to unleash a greater measure of the creative power within you.
Be hopeful. At any moment, you have the power to choose to awaken, align and ascend to next level possibilities. I believe in you.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article. I appreciate YOU.
I would love to hear what resonated with you from this article in the comments.
All love, all power.
Jackie B
P.S. As I prepare for my move to Georgia, I've decided it is best that I publish this newsletter on a bi-weekly basis moving forward. I will continue to publish it on Fridays.
In addition, next week, I'll be opening registration for my group training experiences: Redefine Your Possible and Living A Resilient Life.
Registration for my Get Noticed, Get Promoted: The Blueprint is still open through March 31, 2023. Thus four part career development program starts on Thursday, April 6, 2023 at 6pm - 8pm EST. I am providing a two payment option that requires full payment by April 6, 2023.