Its time to get personal

This Sunday, the 10th of October, is World Mental Health day, so it is time to get personal. Here is my story and some lessons I have learned along the way.

I used to think I was invincible. I loved my job, was ambitious, and simply could not say no to anything. Everything seemed so important, and nothing could not be achieved. But in 2019 things started to get difficult. A death in the family was followed by an extremely stressful and demanding project. Added to this were some health issues, difficulties with a colleague, a wider restructuring programme, and endless travel. I finally hit a wall later that year, during a round trip from LA to London to Hong Kong and Sydney. My body and mind were finished. This was the start of my panic and general anxiety disorder. Some of the classic signs of burnout. I want to make it clear that this was not solely due to my role, it was mainly driven by me ignoring the warning signs, taking on too much, and not seeking support when I should have. In early 2020 I took some time off and started my recovery. Then the pandemic arrived, which was somehow a blessing, as I was not forced to jump back into office life at quite the same pace. I am still not fully recovered, but I am able to manage my mental health quite well. My employer has been incredibly supportive, and I could not be more thankful to my family, friends and the leadership and colleagues around me. Having a mental health issue is a scary experience, but one that can be overcome. Here are some of my lessons-learned from the past two years.

Do not make your work your life

No matter how amazing your job is, you need to ensure that it does not dominate your life or that it fully defines who you are. Otherwise, any ‘loss of position’ will hit you even harder, for example, if you can no longer work due to illness, redundancy, or any other reason. Create things in your private life that give you an identity, alternative community to engage with, and opportunities to grow.

Be selfish about your own time

This is often easier said than done, but when you are struggling mentally, taking time, and managing your priorities is even more critical. This includes taking time for private things that give you positive energy, such as walks, fishing, a hot bath, or whatever else you desire. Learn to say no and start trusting the people around you to do things you previously believed only you could do.

Obsess about something positive

When you are struggling with a mental health issue it is easy to obsess about it. What is wrong with me? Neural pathways are built that then reinforce and encourage more negative thinking. It is important to break this pattern. Find something positive to obsess about. For me this was fly fishing: spending sleepless nights obsessed about tackle, trips, and things to learn. While still obsessive, the topic was positive and the resulting impact on my mental health was positive too.   

Get professional help

Mental health issues are nothing new and fortunately we are now – as a society – much more open, honest, and proactive about tackling it and providing professional support. There are many different services and techniques that you can now access, along with a wide range of literature. Seek it out, inform yourself, and ask for professional help. It is worth it and provides a layer of support in addition to your family and those close to you.

Be open about it

You are not alone. I have tried to be very open about my experience over the past view years. This might not be for everyone, but I have personally found it helpful and enlightening. You quickly realise that there are many people around you that are suffering with similar issues or that have stories to tell about what to do, things to try, and lessons learned

These are my personal and private views. Hopefully they are useful to someone. I will be out fishing this Sunday. Wish me luck.