The Key To Transforming Your Household

Yesterday, during our lunch hours, I had a conversation with one of my 14-year-old students—a young lady grappling with the belief that she was destined to become pregnant by the age of 15, given the family history of her mother, grandmother, and aunts. Using that moment as an opportunity for affirmation, I conveyed to her that she possesses the capability, power, and choice to alter the course of her life, breaking free from the generational curse looming over her.

In response, she expressed her confidence in becoming a good mother whenever it happens. Curious about her definition of a good mom, I encouraged her to articulate what it truly meant. After a few attempts, she landed on the idea that a good mother is someone who takes care of the children. Prying a bit further, I asked her to elaborate, leading to a blank stare, a smirk, and eventually laughter. With assurance, she replied, "Mr. King, I know I'm going to be a good one." I affirmed her belief, expressing my confidence in her future success.

However, I emphasized the importance of first defining what success looks like. 

Defining What Success Looks Like to You

I challenge you today, whether you aspire to be a mother, a CEO, or an outstanding educator, to articulate and define what success means to you. Create a measure of success, a clear vision, so that you can confidently work towards and achieve your goals.

Often, we embark on journeys in entrepreneurship, parenting, education, and various aspects of our lives fueled by the belief that we will excel in those pursuits. However, we may overlook the inherent responsibilities tied to each role or responsibility. Every title carries its set of responsibilities, and to succeed, one must navigate specific processes and steps.

Success in these roles is subjective, with varied measures for different individuals. In the realm of parenting, my definition of successful parenting involves more than providing the basics like a roof over their heads, food, and shelter. It extends to attending all of your children's events, being emotionally present, and imparting unconditional love. It also encompasses teaching them essential life skills and the significance of emotional intelligence. Successful parenting, for me, means guiding them on their journey to self-discovery and understanding their identity.

Financial provision is another facet of successful parenting, not just for the present but as a safety net for the unforeseeable future. Whether through insurances, investments, or specific assets held in trust, the goal is to secure the well-being of your children even in your absence. However, it's crucial to recognize that success in parenting goes beyond materialistic legacies. It's about leaving a lasting impact on their lives, nurturing their growth, and instilling values that will guide them throughout their journey.

I believe the essence lies in the intrinsic qualities they develop. What kind of person are you guiding your child to become? It transcends merely providing them with food, clothing, and a nightly shelter. I challenge the conventional notion that parenting solely involves meeting these basic needs. Many parents swiftly perform these actions but fall short in holding themselves accountable for the intentional steps necessary to shape their children into well-rounded individuals.

Parenting extends beyond attending events; it's about the profound task of human development and fostering a genuine connection. It's guiding your child to recognize their inner self, understand their roots, and equipping them with the skills, confidence, and security essential for pursuing their unique life goals. The objective is not to impose your own dreams upon them but to empower them to fulfill the dreams they were destined to achieve on this earth.

In my favorite poem by Marianne Williamson, "Our Deepest Fear," she wisely begins with the words, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate." This echoes the sentiment that parenting is a profound responsibility, involving much more than the tangible aspects of care. It's about nurturing the spirit, instilling confidence, and enabling each child to shine in their authenticity.

Our greatest fear isn't that we are inadequate; rather, it is the realization that we possess boundless power and potential. It's the radiance within us, not our shadows, that unsettles us. In these opening lines, I discern the importance of illuminating the darkest aspects of our lives, a task often challenging for parents who aim to guide their children toward a brighter future.

The shadows represent our insecurities, doubts, limiting beliefs, and ingrained behaviors that demand our attention and unlearning. To uplift, empower, and educate our children, we must equip them with essential resources, guiding them not only to survive but to thrive. The light emanates from our unique gifts, skills, and the purpose bestowed upon us by a higher power. However, the dilemma lies in the fact that our darkest moments often dominate our self-perception, hindering us from experiencing the moments of light. The survival mindset in our daily lives becomes a barrier to embracing the opportunities for genuine illumination.

Returning to the poem's message that we are all children of God, the realization is that our existence is not meant for mere survival. It transcends the mundane tasks of paying bills, providing shelter, food, and clothing for our children. Instead, our purpose is to thrive, to experience the richness of life, and to fulfill a greater destiny beyond the realm of mere survival.

Defining the responsibilities of a good parent is rooted in scripture. However, it's not just about understanding the definition; scripture also outlines a plan, a process, and the necessary steps to enrich our own lives before we are prepared to enhance the lives of others. One valuable tip I'm actively incorporating into my life is recognizing that the initial step toward being the best parent possible is to become the best person possible.

I firmly believe that superior parenting stems from personal growth. The closer you get to improving emotionally, spiritually, personally, financially, and holistically, the more effective you become as a parent. By striving to be the best version of yourself, you can extend your capacity to help others not only navigate the challenges of the present but also achieve their purpose in life.