Last month I unmarried myself

Like actually. I did. I had a little ceremony in my kitchen. With myself. And I’ll tell you why.

About 14 years ago I was walking down Brunswick Street, Fitzroy, in the north of Melbourne. It was one of the first weekends without my small kids after my divorce went through. I was walking past a jewellery store and saw a ring that I loved. I went inside and bought it. Walking down the street, with the sun streaming down on a gorgeous winter’s day, I married myself. 

I put the ring on and literally said; “I Georgia Murch, take you Georgia Murch as my wife”. I wanted this moment to represent my future. That without my Mum, a partner and needing to generate an income fast – that I would be ok. That ‘I’ve got this!’.

Last month I was walking down the same spot with my mate Angie (on a sunny winter’s day again) and I told her about the story and showed her my ring. The same one I bought 14 years ago. She asked me if I still need to be married to myself. Whoa! That became the catalyst for a new decision I made.

What I recognised was, that fierce level of independence helped me raise my 2 independent adult children. It helped me have a successful career, set up a business that is creating kickarse cultures and helped me buy my own home that I absolutely love. 

But it’s not going to serve me in the future. Not if I want to have co-laboured relationships at work, with my kids, with my friends and with my future partner (whenever he decides to introduce himself to me).

So that night, in my kitchen, in my home I love, I unmarried myself. I thanked myself for getting me here and left the belief that ‘I had to do it myself’ in the fruit bowl. Well the ring was left in the fruit bowl.

There are so many skills, behaviours and beliefs that we have that get us to where we are now. They were your superpower then. But are they going to serve you in the future?

A good question to ponder. It worked for me. My posture is different. It’s better. It’s less fierce and more trusting. Yet I will still have what I need. I’m just doing it in a better way.  This I know to be true.

What super power might no longer serve you?

If you liked this then you might like to attend my upcoming event on Embedding a feedback culture. You can find out more about it and register here.