The Leader As A Coach: Creating S.T.A.R.S for the future.

My first coaching client request came from the President of a bazillion-dollar organization.

I remember it vividly—I was at a foot massage spa, trying to relax, when my phone rang. Twice. On the third ring, I had no choice but to answer.

On the other end was a panicked leader, sharing the total meltdown that was happening within his team.

I listened, and when he finished, I told him, “I’m not the right person for this job.” I even recommended two other coaches who could help. But he refused.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because the team trusts you,” and that makes all the difference, he said. He was right. And with that, my foray into the world of coaching began.

As I went deeper into the lion’s den, I realized something that changed everything!

 It wasn’t just the team that needed coaching—it was the leader. The situation had been brewing for a long time, but the proverbial can had been kicked down the road until the road came to an abrupt end, and a crisis ensued.

This wasn’t an isolated issue. The crisis happened because of old-school, command-and-control leadership—reminiscent of the industrial, hierarchical ways of leading. This style just doesn’t work in today’s world. In the age of disruption, we need a human-centric approach—one that emphasizes coaching, enabling, and inspiring rather than simply directing. So many coachable moments were missed, so many opportunities for conversations that would have shifted the dynamics within the team.

This tendency to hire an external coach and send an employee with issues to be coached seems like an easy solution. However, coach-like guidance from the leaders of the team creates a sustainable imapct and often pre-empts situations from erupting. Although it must be added that it is not just about preventing situations, it is also about up-levelling skills in the moment and grooming future talent.

Let me share one of the models I work with, it is called Learning to Create S.T.A.R.S

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The S.T.A.R.S. Model for Leaders as Coaches

S - Self-Awareness: Effective coaching starts with self-awareness. Leaders need to cultivate an understanding of their strengths, biases, and blind spots to coach their teams effectively. Without this foundation, guiding others with clarity and authenticity is impossible. Just like the case of the President who hired me. His heart was in the right place but his skill were not. That is why the program would have helped him and others. 

T - Trust and Psychological Safety: Building an environment where team members feel safe to express themselves openly is key. Trust is the bedrock of any coaching relationship, and psychological safety allows people to share ideas, admit mistakes, and take risks without fear of judgment. In a world starved of human connection, it is the moments of truth, trust and connection that make all the difference. 

A - Active Listening: Mastering the art of deep listening is essential. This isn’t about listening to respond or solve problems—it’s about truly understanding. Active listening helps leaders ask the right questions and uncover the deeper challenges their teams are facing. Leaders are so used to solving problems that learning to hold back and truly take in what is being said (and often not said) become key. 

R - Relational Intelligence: Emotional intelligence is the secret ingredient to great coaching. Leaders must navigate relationships with care, recognize emotions in themselves and others, and foster genuine connections that lead to growth and development. The relational intelligence part of it emotional and also somatic (body intelligence), the awareness of how the coaching is making you feel and making the other person feel has to be accounted for. 

S - Storytelling: Finally, leaders must use the power of storytelling to inspire, guide, and make the coaching process relatable. Stories have a way of making abstract concepts real and memorable, helping teams see the bigger picture and stay motivated on their journey.

The S.T.A.R.S. model captures the essence of being a leader-coach: guiding others to shine by balancing self-awareness, trust, active listening, relational intelligence, and narrative-based coaching.

I have worked with senior partners of global consulting firms who felt they had grown as human beings after attending the leader as a coach program. I have had leaders from a financial institution thank me for the program because they feel they can take the skill to their family and friends. The impact of this approach is beyond just that of the corporate world.

So, while coaching may be time-intensive, its impact is exponential. Developing leaders as coaches isn’t just a nice to have; it’s essential for building strong, resilient teams and driving long-term success.

If you’re curious about how coaching can transform your organization, let’s have a conversation. Sometimes the most powerful changes start with a simple question.

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