The Leadership Mindfulness NEED/WANT Gap

If you have worked for more than one boss over time, you probably know the Leadership Mindfulness NEED/WANT gap all too well.  Lousy bosses NEED leadership mindfulness but their ego gets in the way. They don’t WANT help with their leadership anything. 

 This isn’t a “paint by the numbers” comparison of those who are open to being contributed to and those who eschew any attempt to improve their team’s work experience.  I wish I could make the path easy for those who see the NEED/WANT leadership mindfulness gap and tell you how to correct it.  Not so easy. 

 Here is what I do know.  People leave people, then don’t leave organizations! 

 Why that isn’t more obvious to organizational leadership, I don’t know, but it is not obvious.  GALLUP’s 2023 research headline said, “Employee Engagement is Still Terrible!”  Nearly six in 10 employees are actively disengaged or are quiet quitting (psychologically disengaged from work), costing $8.8 trillion dollars, or 9% of global GDP.

 People leave people, they don’t leave organizations!

 I am seeking your help in determining how to cross the chasm between NEEDING to improve a bad manager’s leadership presence and his/her WANTING to improve leadership presence, by you telling your stories.

 My inquiry needs your experience of one of two outcomes:

 1.     You tried to provide honest feedback to a boss and failed miserably, so you either retreated to Quiet Quitting (mentally disengaged just didn’t quit), or you really quit your job because of this bad boss.

2.     I ALSO want instructive stories of a time when you courageously said to a boss, “you need help”, and you SUCCEEDED!  Your feedback was instructive in ways that the boss received your conversation as valuable input, and actually took action to become a better leader.

 The ego is the enemy of willingness to improve

 Let’s start with a safe assumption; the ego is the enemy of willingness to improve. 

We all have an ego, that isn’t the actual problem. When the EGO drive exceeds concern for team experience and business outcomes, a leader can become authoritarian. At this point it becomes unsafe for team members to challenge the authoritarian leader. 

One disaster formula that happens too frequently

Past technical performance + a big raise + new authority contributes to ego dominance.

 For example, someone with technical competence receives a promotion to leadership. This doesn’t have to lead to disastrous team experiences but it often does, particularly when the role includes a big raise. Few can challenge the now boss’ claim of outstanding past performance. What is missed is that the outstanding past performance was as an individual contributor facing a technical challenge, NOT as a leader of a team, now having to give up the technical work and produce results through team effort rather than individual effort.  That change alone is a huge gap. What doubles down on the cost of that gap is the lack of leadership development for this new VERY different role!

 Many years ago, now, I was brought into GE Healthcare, Life Care Solutions division, when they realized that their Lead Systems Designers, who had all been given leadership roles because of their technical expertise, were failing to meet compliance requirements for FDA approval of certain medical devices.  When assessed and shown their suitability for leadership, some acknowledged they weren’t suited to leadership and moved to other positions. This saved GE Healthcare from losing great individual performers with excellent technical skills, simultaneously re-calibrating and upgrading the leadership.

 When I was leading CEO groups as a Vistage Chair, I only wanted CEOs who wanted to grow themselves to be more effective, setting their ego aside and inviting instructive feedback.  I wanted CEOs who were open and vulnerable, willing to be wrong and willing to admit it. 

 In selecting participating CEOs, I used this same assessment as was used at GE Healthcare to determine whether someone would eagerly receive the opportunity for self-reported feedback or not.  When someone didn’t want to take the assessment, I knew instantly they would not be a good member of my CEO group; if someone didn’t want their own feedback, they certainly wouldn’t welcome mine or that of their peers in the group.

I once had a CEO tell me straight out, “I only take my own feedback.”  Well, there you have it; authoritarian, and proud of it; EGO.

Add your story below

 In the Comments section, you would be making a HUGE difference to share your successes and failures in the context of the leadership mindfulness NEED/WANT gap. Just share the story, the good, the bad, the ugly, without incriminating anyone, though you may be carrying residual emotional energy around the event.  I appreciate your authenticity, your contribution, and I might quote you, no names please!  If you feel too vulnerable to post and are willing to share, send me your story at pstambaugh@accountabilitypays.com. 

Accountability Pays Upcoming Opportunity for You.  If you are interested in participating, let me know.

—   Celebrate the Launch of Leadership Success Accelerators with me at a luncheon; Veuve Cliquot champagne toast, Frankly Swingin’ Jazz Quintet.  June 17, University Club Atop Symphony Towers Banquet Room.  Registration will begin mid April.  If you would like to be included, leave me a note here.