Learn how to Accept Constructive Criticism Without Being Offended

It's a perfectly normal human trait to want to shy away from criticism, since the last thing you want to hear is someone's negative opinion of you. After all, many people view criticism as something negative, right? 

Certainly, there are those who criticize just to be unkind. They cover their own insecurities and failures by trying to make others feel bad so they can feel better about themselves. 

However, there are other sincere and thoughtful people who truly only want the best for you and are courageous enough to tell you that you have mustard on your shirt. Those criticisms are the ones that you can benefit from the most by viewing them constructively. 

As you work to continually develop your professional strengths, skills and knowledge, it's critically important to develop a tougher skin and learn how to take constructive advice and counsel from those who matter most . Receiving and accepting honest feedback forces you to be inward-looking and can help you determine the areas where you need to grow and can even bring you benefits that make your life and career more fulfilling. 

Here are some quick tips that can help you accept constructive criticism and turn it into career-changing advice: 

1.  Consider the motive. Once you've been criticized, take a moment to decide if the motive is sincere.

• Is the critic a person someone you’ve known for a while and/or developed a respect for who they are and what they represent in a professional context? Have they always offered you unconditional support? If so, chances are their motive is genuine and they are just trying to point you in the right direction.
• On the other hand, if it is not a person you know well and respect or has a history of questionable behaviors towards others, that person could be looking for a way to bash you. Keep your eye on those people and avoid letting your guard down.  
• It's always a good idea to be cautious when you're unsure about someone's motives. If you can, use your network to find out more about “why” a specific person may be approaching you in certain ways. It won’t remove the criticism, but it can help you better understand the rationale behind the action and reduce your concern over what you’ve heard. Remember that there is a school of thought that beleives, “What other people think about me is none of my business.”

2.     Honestly question yourself. Listen to the criticism and take a moment to digest it. Try to ignore the feeling of being offended long enough to be introspective. Is what they’re telling you correct – even if it’s something you didn’t want to hear? Take what you've heard and see if it truly fits into what's happening with your situation.

• It's easy to be taken over by denial driven by fear of disappointment. But taking this approach can only become burdensome on you because you can carry that negativity into other aspects of your life and it may affect how you’re showing up in other circles. Try to make it your goal to go through life with a light heart and spirit that is willing to accept that everything you do on a daily basis is not going to be as successful or well received as most other contributions you make to the world.
• Replay the situation in your mind. Can you honestly say you agree with the criticism meted out to you? Perhaps this person can actually see something you may have overlooked and is trying to help you avoid diving deeper down the rabbit hole or even worse – make the mistake again in the future.
• It sometimes helps to consider alternatives. How differently could a situation have played out had you gone with an alternate approach? Try to be as honest with yourself as possible, so that you’re truly learning from this situation and finding the best way to move forward.

3.     Filter the feedback. As you gain more career experience, you should be able to identify when you’re receiving constructive criticism. Put the unfounded criticisms behind you and look forward and use the constructive criticism to inspire a favorable future outcome.

• A reality of life is that you'll always have detractors. Like how crabs pull each other down as another one tries to climb out of the bucket, there will always be people who try to do the same to you. Do your best to take those people with a grain of salt and don’t allow their negative energy and purpose divert you from your positive path forward.
• When you have filtered the unfounded criticism, take a moment to smile. Unfounded criticism sometimes means that you have something good enough that others want. Use times like this to remind yourself that you are actually pretty special, but just like everyone, you are constantly seeking ways to improve.
• On the flip side, take the warranted feedback and use it to improve how you show up in future situations. Always give thanks for the genuine care and concern you receive from others and make a promise to cherish those people at all costs. 

Remember that receiving criticism is just another aspect of your life as a professional that you will deal with multiple times over the course of your career. You can allow it to break you down, but it's definitely better if you use it to build yourself up. Always aim to take the high road and approach each situation with class and professionalism. 

If you are a person who does not react well to negative feedback, then working with a coach to recognize and change your assumptions, motivations, beliefs and behaviors can be very helpful to you. 

Visit www.1988strategies.com for a FREE coaching consultation and let’s discuss how a coaching engagement can be a transformational experience for your professional career growth.

#personaldevelopment #careers #motivation #careercoachDJA