Learn to Navigate Tough Topics with a NOVEL Approach

The word “Fear” and the word “Influential” are on opposite ends of the emotional spectrum. 

When you are fearful, you are not coming across as The Influential Communicator, who is completely aligned, from vocal and verbal cues to non-verbal body language.

Fear can present itself in apprehensiveness, doubt, knee-jerk reactions, and irrational behavior when faced with certain topics. Sometimes fear is masked by anger, which leaks out in the words you use and through your body language, often in uncontrollable ways. Your body shows how you really feel.

At the same time when it comes to fear, there are ways to recognize, shift away, find a point of negative contrast, resulting from a situation, and then move to a better, more comfortable (or safer) place. With respect to communications, your level of fear represents itself in your ability to think clearly, your willingness to listen, your level of curiosity when challenged, and your openness to the diverse perspectives around you, when discussing tough topics or experiencing difficult situations.

The best technique is to get out “ahead” of the fear (and to remain open), as quickly as possible for yourself and for anyone else in your interactions. 

As a media and communications trainer, I’ve studied TV interviews and podcasts, and have witnessed workplace and professional discussions that often "fly off the handle". What's important to note here is that once the "train" leaves the station, it is difficult to go backward or to stop the fearful or angry momentum in its tracks. 

Have you seen the YouTube clip of Andrew Sorkin and Rick Santelli ranting on CNBC’s Squawk Box? You can watch the short clip here. Recently, I shared this TV discussion in a corporate training program. We were focused on facing fears and being more open around passionate topics and what are considered the “hot button” issues.

The clip is a good example of how the train left the station quickly and it was difficult for anyone on the show to get back to a place of open dialogue and communication alignment.

What can you do if you know you are about to encounter a hot button issue?

Here’s a technique that you can use to approach a difficult discussion, whether it is on Live TV, you’re on stage fielding questions, in the boardroom with your colleagues, or in any number of communication scenarios that tend to elicit passion or energy that turns into fear and anger.

The technique is called NOVEL. You want to approach these subjects in a new way . . . in a NOVEL way.

NOVEL is an acronym that stands for:

N - Just say “NO” to your ego. You should check your ego at the door. Always trying to prove something does not help the situation, or advance an important discussion. Remember to make room for varying opinions and beliefs.

O - Do more “Observing" and much less speaking. Immediately listen for tone of voice, and change in pitch, as well as the emphasis around important words. Watch for energy that leaks through body language to gauge how someone is feeling about a topic. If you observe closely, then you can catch if stress is leaking through their eyes, facial expressions, hands, arms, etc.

V - Rather than proving your point, “Validate" that you understand what the other party is saying. Let someone know you can “see” why they feel the way they do about the particular topic, based on their influences and experiences. You may even "mirror" words back. When you validate you can make someone feel heard, without having to agree with a point being made. If you can manage this part of the technique well, then you will advance the conversation further.

E - When you advance the conversation, you should be able to “Effectively" communicate based on what you've learned and in a way that is not threatening. You’ll share your point or counter point more easily.

L - The last part of the technique deals with your ability to actively "Listen" to every response. You're leaning into the conversation, tilting your head, giving someone your ear (through body language) whether you’re in person, on TV or on video together. The more you actively listen the deeper you can go with the conversation and a potential relationship. Plus the more you listen, it's more likely someone will listen to you.

Failure to recognize a NOVEL conversation means you don’t catch the subtle ways that the voice, verbal and non-verbal cues quickly can get out of alignment in yourself and in someone else.

When you can catch the fear or lack of openness before it takes control, it’s a gift and a valuable skill. However, you have to be fully self-aware, present in the moment and feeling aligned, which means calm, focused and completely tuned into a situation. Then, you’re able to pivot, adjust, and get the conversation back on track. 

The Influential Communicator is great at recognizing and catching the fear before any negative momentum prevents what could be an interesting and meaningful discussion for you and the people around you.

What are you doing to keep your conversations on track? Please share your techniques and what's working for you.

BONUS: Here’s a NOVEL infographic you can refer to when you know you’re about to have a "new" discussion and you want open dialogue and better connections.

Of course, being prepared for tough discussions with the media requires media training and uncovering the questions you don’t want to be asked. My LinkedIn Learning course focuses on preparing executives for the soft ball and the hard balls interviews. If you want to learn more, you can check out the course here.