Lessons from a Dress Rehearsal: Lessons for Life

I have attended more dance performances than I can count. I have watched and participated in more dance classes than I can count. But, I had never been invited to attend a dress rehearsal of a major dance company. That changed this week. I had an opportunity to attend dress rehearsal of the American Ballet Theatre at the Kennedy Center. I kept wishing every educator could go to a dress rehearsal.

Let me set the stage so to speak. I was seated in the second tier, way higher than the usual seats I purchase for dance performances. But, my seat was a perfect perch from which to see and hear virtually everything that was happening – from the orchestra pit to the wings of the stage.

The rehearsal format is critical to appreciating the event: when the house lights are dimmed, the dancers in costume perform each piece (about 30 minutes), but these performances are interrupted with voices from the orchestra pit, directives from the wings and stoppage of the dancing. With the house lights still dimmed and the audience silent, each piece is then debriefed (another 30 minutes). The audience gets to witness and listen to the wide-ranging efforts to respond to what had just occurred on stage. Picture that: professional dancers and musicians unabashedly sharing their artistic process – including their mistakes. Instead of seeing a piece of art hanging in a museum, you see the art being made.

Lessons about Life

Normally, when we see a performance, everything seems so “perfect,” despite barely noticed wee errors. And, what the dancers do looks effortless – even the most difficult steps. What I saw at a rehearsal is how hard the entire Company needs to work to make things look so easy. You are seeing professional, experienced, well-known dancers continuing and willing to learn to improve their art. Then, the stage and lighting crew are hard at work, moving items, changing placements, putting lines on the floor, shifting where people stood. And the orchestra is replaying passages of music, listening to the dancers’ feedback and changing the sound and the tempo repeatedly.

And, here was the shocker: the process of “making dance” is messy. The dancers put on leg warmers and jackets that did not match their glorious costumes; the crew and ballet masters were in casual clothes. The orchestra players were not in black and white clothing. Tools, wires, masking tape, clipboards were all over the place. Everything was the opposite of a formal dance performance where there is precision and musical synchronicity, and lighting and sets that seem to be just right.

Teachers always talk about instilling a love of learning that will last a lifetime.

Teachers see the complex process of learning through the experiences of their students over a semester, a year, a decade. But, rarely is the learning by professionals as public and as “untidy” as what you see at a dress rehearsal. Quality learning is hard work. Even for the most experienced, it is time consuming.

The rehearsal also reinforced a life lesson: expect the unexpected. True, I did not know what would happen at a dress rehearsal, and I am sure they are all different. But, I think the rehearsal of the error-filled second piece was unexpected even by the dancers and the orchestra. The timing and pace of what the orchestra was playing was not in sync with the dancers, including the principals. It was so bad that some of the dancers actually stopped moving and approached the orchestra pit to say, “too slow” or “this isn’t working.” A lead male dancer got so frustrated trying to jump in a particular pattern to the music that he literally walked off the stage throwing his ballet slipper. Dancers who were supposed to move in unison were operating at different tempos. One just stopped dancing at key points. Precision was missing.

Suffice it to say, the debriefing for the second piece was palpably intense, given that there was a “real” performance that evening. You could hear the audience gasp as changes were made. Some dancers were actually replaced by others. The principal ballerina tried some turns but fell off her toe-shoes. The new male principal walked and quasi danced through his steps but complained that his costume (not yet on his body) was too tight. The air was electric as everyone was trying to figure out how to make major adjustments, not simple tweaks.

I was tempted buy a ticket to see the evening performance -- just to see everything put in its place.

But I think the most powerful lesson I learned surrounds the oft-used phrase: “Life is not a dress rehearsal” or “Life is not a rehearsal.” The phrase has always irked me but I could not explain my feelings, let alone figure out why exactly I felt as I did. I get what is intended by the words: Life is the real thing; go for it. You don’t get to practice life. You can’t take back your actions.

This rehearsal experience made me realize that the phrase is wrong and sends absolutely wrong messages. In fact, the inverse of the phrase is what is true. Performances are designed to showcase perfection, where everything is actually a choreographed illusion. It is gaslighting – an untrue story made to feel real. Everything is under control. The audience believes the magic before it.

But, that is not real life, which much more closely resembles a rehearsal. We try to improve; we continue to learn; we strive to do better; we make mistakes. We are not always in sync. Our costumes are not pristine. Living life, like making art, is messy.

A dress rehearsal of the ABT at the Kennedy Center taught me more than any performance ever could have – and I have been moved and inspired by many performances. It is inspiring to see the beauty in the untidiness that accompanies quality learning in action, teamwork, and engagement. Performances are beautiful but so are rehearsals – albeit exhibiting a different type of beauty. Rehearsals are complex, absorbing and moving events, filled with individual and collective human effort and the promise of improvement. Rehearsals reflect, in short, the very best of life. Life, contrary to the popular phrase, is most assuredly an ongoing dress rehearsal.