Lessons Learnt Late But Not Lost

I went to a funeral yesterday.

Actually, it was a Celebration of Life followed by an After Party, although its really just semantics.

A person had died at just 30 years of age.

The funeral was huge, with family, friends, and acquaintances compressed into the Chapel and surrounds as well as observing virtually. This young person had clearly touched many in too few years on this rock.

The funeral was beautiful, powerful, and absolutely genuine, with all who spoke struggling through a heartfelt recipe of love and loss, candor and humour, pain and regret, and although each delivered eulogies from different connections, timelines, and experiences, the commonality was clear. We had all lost someone very special, and way too early.

Although those delivering were well known and successful in their given spheres, their words were bereft of any egotistical energy or sentiment. They were all there to honour a young person who they deeply admired and loved.

Through the absolute devastation that was palpable in the room, where weeks of tears were still not enough, a clear picture emerged of a person with rare intelligence, boundless energy, and the courage to always ask "why not?" rather than "should we?", or "what if?" as an entrepreneurial innovator.

Amazingly, as wonderful as all of that is, its not the special ingredients that I took away.

I heard of a young person that continually drew others into an orbit where care for the other person, their words, their needs, their success, was paramount, not how bright or insightful the young person was. It was all about them.

This was selflessness in its purest form. This was one reason the Chapel was full.

I saw, heard, and felt the raw energy that was the bond of love between the young person and his family, and how that love extended through friends, colleagues, and the community.

Most striking to the son of a Welsh immigrant was the willingness and openness for men of all ages to express their love for the young person we had lost, and for each other, not constrained by dated societal norms, just displaying genuine, love, caring, and concern.

Whilst it is devastating to lose any family member, to lose a young person just compounds the loss and grief.

To lose someone who had such special gifts as a teacher in humanity, is tragic, and his legacy can best be honoured by learning from those behaviours and actions that he lived.

Love your family, tell them and your friends how much you mean to them, give freely of your time and your pressence so that the other person is not just the most important person in the room, they are the only person in the room.

Lastly, be brave and take risks, living each day to its limits, hoping to make your legacy as bright and wonderful as this young person gave to us.

(The image above is of my grandchildren at my late wife's Celebration of Life. The family of the special young person who recently passed deserve anonymity and time to heal and move on in their own time.)