Letter to my daughter/myself

Don’t start something or be afraid to give up something just because of others. You owe the world nothing, you owe yourself everything. A lake that is drying up, cannot quench anyone's thirst. Don't make decisions in the pursuit of happiness, or to avoid sadness. Take them to improve yourself, do they make you a better version of yourself?

Never estimate your worth in the way you look, dress, or speak, they are nothing but masks that you wear to blend in. There is an agenda that teaches you to blend, the more alike we are the larger the market for people to sell to. Instead measure your worth in your kindness, your resilience, your knowledge, and your spirit. Measure your worth in my eyes, it is infinite and constant. 

Find what makes you feel, and feel. Never shy away from feelings, it is true that when you get drenched you may shiver, the coldness may even enter your soul, but there will be warmth if you keep walking. The sunlight that falls on a cold wet face, feels warmer, than the one that falls on a dry face.  

May you find the courage to see the best in people, because most of us already see the worst in ourselves. Sure some will disappoint you. Even use your kindness against you, but don’t let them be like a drop of ink, that spreads and stains your view of humanity. Because however intense that drop be, in an ocean it is nothing. 

There will be those who try to be powerful by making you feel small. But real power comes from giving it away, rather than taking it. You may even have friends that take too much from you, without letting you replenish, those are not your people. There is no shame in letting them go. Most people will take but will find ways to make you whole again, those are your people. Finding them is the most important thing in life. Don't look for connections in the digital world, find them in real life, take a walk, have lunch, watch movies, read, discuss, and question each other. 

If there ever comes a time, when you feel lonely and people have disappointed you, turn to the books. You will find the collective wisdom of those who came before us. Because as lonely as we may feel sometimes, there is someone out there who has been through the same fire, and instead of burning, discovered fuel to power through. 

Question everything, everyone, and even yourself! The wise ones will either give you an answer, or they will question their own beliefs. If neither happens, trust me, that tree, however large it looms, is hollow inside. Allow yourself the liberty to change your mind, you can travel, and you can read, but you still cannot know everything. Apologise, when you are wrong, and you will be, many times. An apology carries evidence that you realize the boundaries of your understanding, which allows for mutual respect. People will gladly teach if you offer yourself as a student. 

Listen, don’t be in a hurry to speak, I know the world you are growing up in, has created an illusion of speed. But find ways to stand still, to hear your own voice, and that of others, especially those that the world has chosen to ignore. Create something, in whatever form you can. It doesn’t need to be for the world but for yourself. A space where you let yourself be, without judgment, without haste, without fear. And someday when you find courage, show it to one person. This person is critical, they can set the course, or veer you completely off. Your first draft, a fledgling, will be flapping around, barely able to walk. But the right person, will not just see the right now, but imagine the beautiful flight ahead. 

There will be times, that you come across someone who makes you feel loved, special, chosen, and just when you open yourself up, they retreat. Leaving you begging for the same rush. But remember love can never be given in alms. What you are seeking is not love, it is attention. To be seen and to be heard, is an addiction, in a world where attention is precious. But don’t fall into the trap of those that make it into a game, learn to walk away with grace. Sometimes that is the only thing we can do. 

Don’t go looking for people to complete you, because there is nothing to complete. You are not an unfinished story, you are a journey, that only gets better. Remember that you are loved. You are loved, when you are angry, when you are sad when you are happy, there is no reality in which you are not loved. There is no one you need to be, there is nothing you need to achieve for me to love you. There will come a time when I may not be able to understand you, you may feel unheard, but don't ever believe that you are unloved.