LISTENING TO MY OWN MUSIC
You Are The Best

LISTENING TO MY OWN MUSIC





LISTENING TO MY OWN MUSIC


Live


Welcome back ladies and gents. I pray all is well with you, and you are; ready to start your day. I had an amazing discovery today; of myself. I express it all; inside my music. This time, and for me; the first time. I did it on camera, on my YouTube channel; live. Gary Vee inspired this decision. I had thought about it before but, today was special. Sorry. 


I just decided to go for it. I had been inspired to just talk to the Universe; inside my University. But, I was so inspired to do so; earlier today. I went to one of my favorite places to perform. Well maybe not my favorite = favorite. But, at least in America. I found myself close by the Venue. I walked into the coffee shop, just up the street. I secured power to my LapTop. And I just started my systems; up. I started by describing the environment, and its atmosphere. Then, I slowly moved into;  the people whom were so amazing to me. I have new found friends there. Perhaps “walking Millionaires” who don’t know it; just yet. But, along this journey; I have been doing some cherry picking. Of course; these are Gods people. But some genuinely shine through. The love that I received there; just in the last two days is phenomenal. I; for one, have been dealing with my past, and my childhood. With, you guessed it; my family members. These past few months, have really been hard on me; emotionally. Perhaps even Psychologically. This is new to me. I believe that I have compartmentalized so many aspects of my life. Yes. I have been a star since I was very, very young; overseas. So. This can be hard. 




I am starting to consider what my options, really were? And also trying to understand the Why of things? Meaning. I protected my self by blocking this pain and suffering. I placed it away; for a future time. This time; is now. These are the best moments of my life. Yet. Something is not yet; complete. Life and God; and the Universe, have been guiding me, along this journey. Perhaps a moment of reflection? Or in my moments of clarity? I think it could be destiny? Or fate? Maybe it has been a warning, or a prayer answered? This is a very wide range? Isn’t it?




I believe in You. Go For It.






Spell checker. Please help. I type over 300 per minute. Three, Hundred, Words, Per, Minute. Lol. That was cool. My bad. Back to my flow state.

 

I spoke about a range of topics. I shed a few tears; and its funny that I even thought about it. I wanted to cry; if at all possible. Not for the sake of crying itself, or reliving those pains; including my roots, deeply seeded in poverty, abuse and neglect. But, more for the healing properties. I wanted to purify my soul. I actually had cried for close to an hour the day; prior. But, that was different. I was so overwhelmed with my emotions, that I knew, that it was the therapy I actually needed. The reason was; that It Had Been a Long Time coming. When I did the live; it was because I was already open, mentally, to do so. This time around; to help others in need. I felt in my heart that some one out there; could be experiencing the same feelings and emotions. And that would be my catalyst for growth.

 

I sat there with water and ice. And I just looked outside of the windows. It was symbolic, because this, is how I have viewed life; for a long time. All I could do; was look at life through an hourglass. I have always looked at life from the sidelines because; I grew up so poor. Being poor is one thing. But, being emotionally deprived is another. To be neglected is another layer. And then to be abused and tormented? That is not a good combination for success. It makes life harder. I was very mistreated as a child. I was always attacked verbally, emotionally and psychologically. Mostly, by those family members; close to me. I spoke on that too. When I say abuse, I am not referring to any sexual abuse or anything of that nature. More like; you are less than, because, “whatever”; they could think of. Any reason, or excuse was good. Hi is too tall. Or. He is too short. Or. He doesn't eat seafood; hes allergic! Just; anything. Sadly; anything. His hair is too long! Small things like that; that added up in time.

 

Let me give you a few examples. This is also part of my therapy.

 

If my other relatives were invited on a trip, of some sort. I would be left behind. My relatives would say things like; “he plays too much”? What? The? Fuck? Is? That?


I am a kid; I am supposed to play? All day every day: non stop. That is what kids do? Right?


I was not welcomed anywhere. I was never wanted; anywhere, with them. Not even during holidays. I used to ask specifically; anytime I saw them. Can I come over and play with my cousins? Yeah, yeah; of course. Anytime! Bullshit. One time I cried so bad to my Mother, that I asked her; Why did they “not” bring me? And my mother; broken hearted sighed, and told me the truth. Jonathan. They said you play too much…. I responded to my mother. As a Child; myself…. But, Mom… I am just a kid… All I want to do is….Play?

I must have thought to myself; is there something wrong with that? So fucking sad; that I vividly remember that day. I never forgot that day. I embrace the fact, today; that I never will. I just have to continue to power through; moments like these. My father is dark skinned; like me. And my family made his life a living hell for it. The were very racist to him. Me; being his child. I could not be good enough; according to their belief. 

Surprise; because in the future they would also have “Dark Skin Kids”, too. For me; the damage was done. It bullshit like that; that scars you on a deeper level. And as an adult; you remember that shit and it aggravates you. And I am buying luxury homes for these people? Fuck. That. 

My Momma didn't raise no fool; fool!

I have the power to say no. I went from being the star child; growing from that abuse. To then; being, taken advantage of “financially”. Then; fast forward to the now of things. A new investment is closer. They already know it will be a, major; major deal, as far as the dollar amount. This is a life changing amount. They are guilt tripping me; trying to manipulate certain situations. Where as now: I can just say: Fuck You. 

I don’t mean it in a bad way. Remember that, while I live in California; I am from New York. I have several homes; all over the world. But, I am from Harlem and The Bronx. The way we talk is completely different. Fuck you; from me to all of them is more like, me using the power of “No”. 




Start Here. The World Is Yours.







One of my mentors, Eric Thomas taught me very well. I have the right to say no. I have the right to protect my mental and emotional balance. I have the right to say no; to any person whom is only bringing hurt and pain, into my life. I did a great Job raising myself. I have become a Marvelous Man, with Nothing in Life. 

All I ever had was my Faith in God, and Three Grains of Rice. The rest; I created for myself. 

I always got my “own” shit; all by myself. I always had to make a cake out of crumbs. I always had to learn to do shit on my own. I always had to figure things out; by myself. I was there for the whole thing. That kid; I used to be, has sacrificed everything for me. Even his childhood. I owe everything to that kid. That kid was fearless. 

I am still Fearless. 




I am not afraid of anything; not even death. I am not afraid of God. I am anxious to one day meet with the Creator/ The Highest Power. I look forward to that shit. I can’t wait. All I ask God; is to let me complete my entire purpose on planet earth, before its all said and done. But as far as me? I love adversity. Its all I have ever known. Once I achieved “stability” in my life; I grew, in to an even better person. 

My perspective was Amplified. I became even deeper; in my thoughts. 

I am listening to my album; for the tour. I play twenty five songs in my set; non stop. There is a wardrobe change, towards the end. I play five different genres. I open with Regaetton, and circulate to Dembow. Then I go to Perico Ripiao, Tipico, and bachata! 




I close with Salsa. 

My English albums are different. It has twenty seven songs. All Rap, and Hiphop, Trap, Drill etc. But that is more for Stadium Arenas; only. Those records are completely different. 

For the Latin Tour; the songs are all clean, romantic and melodic. I can play them anywhere, and under any circumstances. The English Records; are for my Events, Privately. Only. 

Those records; hit differently. 

I am listening to my Latin/ Greatest Hits. I am so proud of all; my body of work. No cut. No bullshit. Just the Raw Puree. But, these records came from a very special place, in my heart. There was a Song that I removed. And Three more that I added to my events. But. I think that I will add it back in, to the rotation. It has brought me back; some memories, of the times that I recorded that album. Or those albums; that eventually became “my greatest hits Volume one”. Its called Final Set 5. Check it out. You will enjoy it. 





I have so many shows lined up for this tour. I had sat earlier with my Mother, and went over all of them. Its several Millions of Dollars; right there. NOt counting other revenue streams. And I went over a few things, and just thought to myself; they just have no clue, or idea about this journey that I am on. I am not just sitting around, waiting for things to fall out of the sky. I told the major labels; that this tour would be done by me and my company. I did it on purpose. I wanted to prove that it could be done; independently. This is all, as I negotiated my Billion Dollar Contracts; Alone. 





No Fear. 

No Fucks Given. 




Me and My Faith in God. 

My Word and my Balls, and My two Machetes. 




Its all about my Grandchildren, my kids, my family and my Legacy Goals. Fuck everything else. 

You know who I have to provide for? Them. Anyone else? Mother. Fuck. YOu. 

Kick Rocks, and Get The Fuck Out Of My Life. 


No. You can never come to “MY ESTATES”. 


My Car Collection is too “EXpensive”. 



The Insurance… Would just never allow it!




Sad. But True. 





I can love you; from a Far. 




I mean; Really, Really FAR. 




I will always take care of them financially; especially the children and the elders. As far as anyone else? 

That Ship Has Sailed; Since I was a Child. 

I remember the feelings of Abandonment. I don’t want them to suffer. In fact. I only want the best for them. 

But the best thing for Me Is: To have them; permanently, Away From My Life. 

And I will do; just that. 




I am 41 years old. By 42; My Baby New Girl “NOLANY” will be here. November 25, 2024. 

This is my number one priority. I will enjoy my fortune; with my kids and their kids and the church/ charities. 





Gods people. 




I love you all. Thank you for stopping by. Please come by; anytime. 

By the way. I only needed seven more words, to reach my Goal of Two Thousand. Sometimes I go a bit above and beyond. At other times; a bit less. I know we just hit our target. God bless. 








2,034. 









VENOM R1

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