A Love Story in Four Parts: Overcoming Communication Toxins (Part 4 of 4: The Job Offer)

[Running an experiment this week: Publishing fiction on LinkedIn! Curious to hear your feedback in the comments or in a DM. Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.]

Bradley Stafford wasn’t just your average headhunter. He was a matchmaker, known for connecting the most promising startups with the brightest talent. You simply did not say no to a meeting with Bradley Stafford, no matter how much you loved your current job.

And Sally was curious to hear why Bradley was reaching out. Before even hearing the offer, she was already regretting the timing. She had been somewhat surprised he’d agreed to meet in New York, figuring it had worked out with other commitments. He was really based on the west coast, it wasn’t likely he’d be offering her a job in the city. And nearly three months pregnant, this was definitely not the right time for moving across the country.

But Sally was not expecting the offer that Bradley had for her. CTO of one of the fastest rising startups in the Valley. This would be a quantum leap in her career. It was the once in a lifetime opportunity you just don’t say no to.

“You understand, I need to discuss this with my husband, it’s a big decision.”

“Of course, but I hope I know what the answer will be. If you could give an answer by the end of the week. We’re hoping to get this sewn up before the press gets wind of Prescott’s departure.”

At that moment it dawned on Sally just how life altering this decision would be. If she said yes, and every modicum of her that cared so much about her career was screaming to say yes, she’d have to relocate herself across the country and start work within a couple of weeks.

Tom would have to stay behind to deal with their life and his job. This was the same fight they’d had so many times before, rearing its ugly head right when things seemed so settled.

Sally took the long walk home, hoping to gain some clarity from the fresh winter air. It didn’t work, she felt like she was going around in circles and getting nowhere. She arrived home in a foul mood.

As soon as she walked in, Tom placed a delivery order from their favorite Thai place. He knew that Sally would have some news from her lunch and that she hadn’t texted about it meant that it was something she’d felt was important enough to save for in person. He didn’t want to push her with whatever news she had.

“Hey, want me to open a bottle of the Chenin Blanc to have with the Thai.”

“That’d be great. But actually I think we should have this conversation before enjoying a glass of wine.”

Tom could see that Sally looked pretty exhausted. “We can wait until tomorrow to have this conversation if you’re too tired.”

“No, I feel more confused than I do tired. They offered me CTO at DirectPro.”

“Wait, wow! Even I’ve heard of them. That’s amazing. That’s great, isn’t it?”

For a moment, Sally let the hours of weighty indecision get the better of her, and snapped at Tom, “Of course not, the position is in the Valley, and we’re back where we started from, where we always are, arguing about where to live for our careers, and it couldn’t be a worse time,” Sally finished, nodding at her belly which still did not show.

“Now wait a minute Sally, nobody said this has to be a fight, let’s just talk this through.”

Sally calmed down with that, but her mood still wasn’t any better. She sank down into the couch. “There’s no point in discussing this. This couldn’t come at a worse time in both of our lives. You’re doing great at the firm, and I love my current job. We make enough money, and we live in a city we both love.”

“Ok, so you don’t want the job?”

“You don’t understand, Tom, this is just not a job I can say no to when it comes to having the career I’ve always dreamed of.”

“I think maybe I do understand, and I think that maybe that means you don’t say no.”

“But you need to understand how much this disrupts your life. I’ll need to be out there in two weeks. Three weeks tops. You’ll have to stay behind and deal with tying up our lives in New York. Not to mention figuring out your job. The whole idea of it makes me feel so overwhelmed.”

“Ok, the transition will be tough, there’s no getting around that, but we’ll get through it, and we’ll get settled.”

Sally paused before speaking again. She looked at Tom, letting him know that she’d heard that argument, and added the part that she most dreaded. “And I won’t be able to take the maternity leave we’d planned on. It worked in my current role, but I’m going to have to take minimal leave if I take this job.”

Tom nodded his head. “Yes, I figured that’d be the case, but the good news is that once I leave my firm, I’ll be out of a job. I could hold off finding a new one . . . we’d agreed I’d be taking parental leave as well. I can just take a DIY extended one.”

Sally quietly listened and was just about to present another obstacle to Tom’s plans for giving up his job and moving across the country when the buzzer rang. Tom went to grab the food, and when he returned, he asked, “Do you want to finish the discussion, or eat now?”

“Let’s talk while we eat, you can pour that glass of wine after all, this doesn’t feel like a fight, it feels much more like a discussion.”

“Well, part of that is because I think we both agree on the same outcome.”

“I think we disagree.”

“I think we both agree you should take the job.”

“No, you seem to think I should take the job. At the moment, I think we should stay in New York.”

“But you said this was the single most important thing to your career.”

“Yes, but I’m not sure if the single most important thing in my life right now is my career. In fact, I know it’s not. It’s still very important, but not the most important.”

“Of course, but I’m saying it’s possible we can do both. You can do both.” Tom started to feel a bit frustrated, that he was really trying to get through to Sally and was failing.

“I don’t think you understand what I’m saying. The point isn’t really whether we move or not.”

“It’s not?” Tom asked.

“Do you know how terrified I was about coming home and discussing this job offer with you?”

“No, why? Whether you take the job or not, you should be so proud of yourself for the offer. I’m proud of you.”

“I was terrified about the fight we’d have. It seems like moving and careers have always been the big things we fight about. I felt like we were really settled, and this coming up just seemed like trouble. The opportunity of a lifetime that was just a bunch of trouble.”

“But if it’s the opportunity of a lifetime,” said Tom, repeating Sally’s words back to her, “shouldn’t you say yes?”

“I don’t know, maybe I should. I worked myself into such a foul mood about our upcoming fight. I think I need to sleep on it, before I can think clearly about it.”

“Alright,” Tom said, getting the take-out containers out of the bag after handing Sally her glass of wine. He sensed she had had enough of the topic for the night. But as soon as she sat down she returned to the topic.

“Thank you, Tom.”

“For what, magically producing this Thai feast?”

Sally laughed, “Yes, that, but also for actually discussing this job offer with me.”

Tom viewed this as an opportunity to really drive his point home. He knew how much Sally’s career meant to her, way more than his did to him, and he was ready to take a back seat for a while career wise. “Sadly this isn’t me just performing lip service. I’m not just telling you what I think you want to hear, I really support us moving out there and you taking this job.”

“Yeah, but that’s actually not exactly what I need.”

Tom felt frustration build slightly. He wasn’t just telling Sally what he thought she wanted to hear, he really meant what he was saying, and he didn’t know what more he could be doing.

Sally saw Tom’s frustration grow. “I don’t mean you’re doing anything wrong; in fact what you were doing earlier was exactly what I needed, discussing all the permutations of the decision with me.”

“You’re really not sure about this job.”

“Of course not. I need to be sure about what’s best for us before I can be sure about this job.”

“But you already said the job was what was best for your career, and I told you I’m ok with it.”

“But that’s the point. Ok isn’t good enough, it’s what’s best for our relationship that’s most important. And neither of us can decide that on our own.”

“Well if this is a vote, I think you should take the job.”

“And I think I need to think about it more, and so do you do, and we need to discuss further.”

Tom sighed. “Okey dokey, let’s eat, then.”

As Tom took his first bite, Sally still wasn’t quite ready to let the discussion go.

“You know I didn’t break up with you because you took the scenic route home. It’s because you didn’t let me contribute to that decision. The straight path or the long way home, there’s no right answer, there’s just the one we arrive at together.”

“Admit it, Sally, you broke up with me because you have an unmitigated hatred for the Merritt Parkway, one of Connecticut’s finest gems.”

Sally burst out laughing, with Tom fully appreciating that no one laughed at his jokes quite like Sally. Both felt relief they could enjoy the rest of the evening without thinking about weighty questions, now that they knew they could tackle this big decision together.